Tuesday, April 7, 2009


After my "freak out" and happy ended Tuesday I boarded a plane Wednesday afternoon for Providence Rhode Island with a short layover in Chicago. Our flight from LAX was delayed due to issues in Orlando, (Ah Florida, always causing problems) so we took off over an hour late, not to worry as we had that cushy layover right.....yea. The flight from Chicago to Providence at 8:30pm was the last flight of the night so we were a little stressed when we began our descent into O'Hare, we were going to have to hoof it to our gate along with a chunk of our fellow flyer's that were also trying to make their connections. The second the seat belt light went off the cut-throat, "travelers dance" began, everyone jumping up jockeying for placement, eyeballing each other, checking our watches and huffing loud enough for everyone to hear while we all stare at the front of the plane to see what the hold up is. I know the dance, I am the queen of hard looks and the occasional thumping of that annoying person in front of me that stuffed their over sized bag into the overhead compartment, "Hey you're having a tough time trying to dislodge the bag that you crammed up there, step aside and lets us checked baggage folks off the freaking plane" often with that, "Can you believe this jackass" look to my husband.

This flight I was up and fast! I knew we had less than 10 minutes to get to our gate, impossible but I was hoping they might have held the flight...in fact I was keeping my fingers crossed that the "jackass" I left in my dust was on our flight, you know to buy us some time. Just as we were making our way to the front of the plane my husband announces, "don't rush, our flight was canceled". No way. After yesterdays drama this is the last thing I need! We made our way to the gate that was to be our departure and yes, the flight was canceled, due to weather so you are on your own folks! Super cool! We hop on the customer service hot line red phone thingie and they were kind enough to get us on another flight, 8:00 pm tomorrow, (Thursday) night again the last flight to Providence, my tummy sank what the hell are we gonna do now?

Well we had no choice we were stuck for the night, and the next day so we start looking for hotels, making lemonade man, lets have some fun right? We stood in line at the baggage counter and Carl started calling to book a hotel in downtown. "Oh OK thanks" hang up, "booked" he tells me. "Oh okay thank you" hang up, "booked too" he says. So this goes on for like 30 minutes...as it turns out Chicago was sold out, we could not find one room. Whatever we thought we will just hop the blue line and take the subway into town, there has to be something open...blue line under construction from O'Hare, but there is a bus....

My husband now in his own, "tizzy" starts getting frantic and hops out of line to use the Internet and find a place for us to stay as well as what bus we are going to have to take to get to a station where we can catch the L. It is finally my turn at baggage claim and I let them know our deal, (flight canceled, not leaving until late the next evening) "We cant give you your bags as this is not your final destination" they tell me, "Well it is for the next 24 hours" I reply. "I can try and have your bags pulled. Wait by belt 9 and if they aren't there in 2 hours chances are you wont be getting your bags until you arrive in Providence" and they added a plucky little, "hey your bags will probably be there before you hahaha". Awesome.

I sit at belt 9 and every once in a while the buzzer goes off and the 4 of us, (not counting Carl who is still seeking shelter) that are bag-less stare desperately at that little flap waiting for our bags to emerge from the belly of the O'Hare beast. It was the sadest little pile of bags I ever did see, one would roll out and then like 10 minutes later another would slowly spin by. They would go around twice and then some "baggage guy" would load them up and take them away.
Carl finaly returns to tell me that we do have a room, "Hooray"...not so fast, it is in Shaumburg Illinois. I drove through Shaumburg once...drove through it on the way to Chicago. It is a suburb, it is fine but not a destination, like trying to get to Los Angeles and getting a hotel in Lakewood. Awesome.

After two hours we return to baggage claim where we are told, "Oh we don't pull bags for domestic flights and the baggage guys have all gone home anyway". So would have been nice to know like two freaking hours ago! I feel myself getting sadder by the second. I am one of those compliant travelers, I check everything, my shampoo, make-up, deodorant everything, and here I am stuck for 24 hours with nothing. Carl and I just stood there trying to figure out what to do, it is like 11 pm, can we even find a CVS or Wallgreens that is open so we can at least brush our teeth?

We rent a car and head out to the Burbs, we check into the hotel and turn on my laptop to do a search for 24 hour places where we can find the essentials. Funny story, I also packed the power cords for my laptop and Carl's phone, (that has Internet access) so they are safe and sound snuggled away in our luggage waiting to hop a flight to Providence early in the morning, so these two very important tools are running out of juice fast! I need a drink and I need it fast.
We head out to a 24 hour CVS about 20 miles from the hotel, cool I can grab a bottle of cheap white or if I must some Gin and Tonic along with my eyeliner and shampoo..funny story, the CVS we found stopped selling alcohol at 11 pm. Awesome.

Carl and I hit the mini department and filled a basket with toothpaste, deodorant, lotion, face wash and floss. I then went and re-bought the make-up I already own, you know the ones sitting with my power cords safe and snug awaiting a flight to Providence in the morning and that was when it hit me....underpants.

This is where I admit that Carl and I are kind of freaks when it comes to keeping our bodies clean, we don't leave the house without a shower, never wear the same shirt twice...you know the type, and here we are stranded in our jeans and, (Bad Religion-him & Reject Prohibition-me) T-Shirts for over 24 hours. Just what were we going to do about underwear?

I'm not a fancy under garment kinda gal...dude I wear men's shoes you think I'm walking around in those crazy thong things No Way No How! Bikini briefs and that is it, comfy is my thing. For the ladies reading I do own a couple pairs of...you know...G.P.'s, (aka Granny panties) for when I need them...gentlemen reading let me translate, G.P. ='s none of your bee's wax! So just what did our 24 hour, but not booze CVS have to offer in the way of unders? Cant believe I am sharing this but a two pack, (one for him and one for me) of boxer briefs....sigh....

I tried to put the "panties" out of my head and focused on food, just what might be open, (and if there is a bar I would be HUGELY grateful) at this late hour...(whimpering) only thing was IHOP, I could cry. Dirty, stranded, no juice in our tools, no juice in ME, stuck for a day in the burbs and thinking about a day spent in boy's unders......is there any alcohol in strawberry syrup?!

I ate the worst hamburger I have ever ingested at the IHOP in Shaumburg, and get this on my second sip of coffee, (that I ordered to pair with my fine meal) I choked and horked coffee out my nose...at the table...at like 1 am in Shaumburg...Awesome.

The next morning I took my shower and stepped into the boy's unders...these things are flawed, why so much material? I think I might get why guy's are all focused on their, "area" their panties are all bunched up! I spent the entire day pulling and yanking...might be the marketing to Male's, (lots of room for stuff) but these panties are lame! I was very aware of my panties all day...who the hell wants that?! Dudes, there is a problem with your undies, I'm just saying....
So semi-washed, in funky unders Carl and I decide to take in a movie, good way to kill some time before our flight so as we are walking in I step in a gigantic pile of blue gum....seriously?! Who the hell have I pissed off? I'm walking through the lobby of the theater with a sssllllrrrpp, ssslllrrrppp sound following me and at one point my shoe stuck to the floor and I almost fell. I just looked at Carl and said, "If I like fall and bust out my front teeth I am so not going to this wedding..I think it's cursed!".

So long story...made even longer, we checked in and had seats on the 8:00 pm flight and arrived safely in Providence...and my wine was waiting for me...I have never felt more relived.
There is lots of great stuff to share but I am dragging....will report later!
(Check back on this post because it is going to grow, it's like 2am so I just wanted to get the bulk of the story knocked out....I cant figure out how to save on this blog, lame I know but true)
Here I sit at 2am, sipping on a glass of 2007 Domaine L'Hortus Rose, in Providence Rhode Island, gum scraped from my shoe, laptop powered up without my unders in a bunch. It has been one crazy trip so far....

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