Not So Good

So I woke this morning feeling rather like poo and in no way prepared to plug through my 9 hour work day today…..part of the issue is I went to bed late, stunning I know and on top of that the hubby had to catch an “at the ass crack of dawn” flight to Northern California for a business meeting and even though we have two bathrooms, he cranked up the hairdryer full blast, (we have one of those vanities in our bedroom, sink and counter, large mirror with the shower and potty just off in another tiny room) at 5:00 am….like 3 hours after I dumped my less than great feeling ass in bed! I heard the uber loud screaming beast of a dryer, rolled over and tried desperately to muffle the sound by piling every pillow I could find with my sleepy seed encrusted eyes, on my head. Nothing worked, the whaling seeped through and I was left tossing and turning…to the delight of the hubby that was sooo happy I was awake to give him a proper send off….arggg.


5:10 and I am wide awake, hubby gone and I drag myself into the kitchen for a cup of still warm coffee….the only good thing about being awake at that ungodly hour, the coffee was still fresh. I turned on the television and my laptop and that was when it hit me, “Oh, eww my tummy is upset…kinda nauseous” but as with any ailment I chose to ignore it, wish it away and distract myself with emails and MSNBC. I fished around on one of my cooking boards, reading about tamales, salmon roe and éclairs, noticed that sides of my mouth were watering….not in a good way so I reached for my sugar and cream filled coffee and as I tried to swallow a sip I felt something pushing back…..it was like there was some force reaching up from inside me trying to keep that swig of “Joe” from swishing down my gullet.




I plopped my cup back down on the table and leaned back in the chair, “Whoooooo” breathing deep and pretending that my tummy wasn’t flipping around like a fish out of water…and those little droplets of sweat that were building around the base of my hairline…..so not there! I bounced around from newsletter writing to blog writing in complete denial about what was about to happen…”Loo-loo-loo…so not paying attention to you mister yucky tummy feeling….loo loo loo”. Before I knew it, it was time for the shower, I washed and again listened to the howling blow dryer…this time whirling around my own head, you know those suckers get hot….and can make you feel hot…”whooooo” again with the deep breathing.




Finished drying the hair and every time I felt sketchy I got up from my vanity chair and did a little loop around the apartment, not sure what I was trying to do there…..you know, other than ignore my increasing feeling of yuck. In a last ditch effort to distract myself I opted to brush my teeth….in retrospect, as nauseous as I was….maybe not the best laid plan. The electric bristles hit those back teeth and it was over…..all bad, the tongue came lurching forward and the rest is….history. I spent the last 30 minutes before I needed to leave for work trying to shake off the wretched feeling and more over hoping my tummy would settle….





I spent the rest of the day wondering if I was in bad enough shape to call in another staff member to take my place….that and wondering where the hell all our customers were….man, was it slow today….my 9 hour shift lasted 20 hours, I felt like I was dying all day, on the verge of tossing my…well, I hadn’t eaten anything, so tossing my nothing. Longest day EVER. Made it home, survived my shift without hurling and came home to an empty house….bummer when you feel like hell, and the hubby is super sweet when I am feeling less than stellar, so could have used a hug and one of those sweet kisses on my forehead…..sigh.


I curled up on the couch with the shaggy blanket that lives there with me during the winter and that is when the headache started….lack of food, had to be so I knew I needed to eat something…not feeling the least bit like going out I was forced to forage in my cabinets. So just what did your French wine maven settle on to settle her volcanic tummy and frazzled nerves….a bottle of Herve Azo Petite Chablis and a bag of microwave popcorn dressed with that buttery, overly salty Chex Mix seasoning…melted the butter, added the Worcestershire, Tabasco the garlic salt…the whole deal, just smelling it I knew I was in trouble but for those brief seconds when I wasn’t revolted….it was sublime.





With my fingers plunged in a warm bowl of over seasoned corn kernels while gulping away on a glass of perfectly tasty, citrus laden cold climate Chardonnay….for that one second…I felt better than I had all day.