Tuesday, April 7, 2009


So in between the Rachel Maddow's show and the east coast feed of Bill Maher I was stuck with an hour of mindless, “boobtube” time and found out that……..contrary to popular belief, Law & Order is not on 24/7…damn it. While constructing a letter to my cable provider in my head, (as in, “you really need to have a Law & Order channel”) I perused the gogillion channels we do have. My husband recently switched cable providers so the channels I knew for 10 years….gone, all gone and the sadist part is I had grown so comfortable with knowing the number that I never bothered to memorize the actual name of the networks I watched, I know that makes me sound like a techno-tard, not to mention a advertisers nightmare and I shamefully confess that I am, on both counts….oh yeah this one time I was going to do a post about commercials that I hate but forgot the names of all the products, it’s that bad.

So as I fiddled with the new remote, (hate that too by the way) I ended up on The Food Network, a channel I watched religiously for years…..years ago. Not sure when we broke up, the Food Network and I, don’t know who is to blame…had they changed, had my taste changed, didn’t know how we drifted apart but apart we were. Not sure if I was feeling sentimental or if I was making a wine induced “Booty Call” to an ex-television love longing for the days before I knew better but I hit select and settled in for my hour of “Oh yeah, I remember you”. Turns out, me and my once beloved…not so much compatible anymore, seems like it is right where I left it, it hadn’t changed one bit, still talking about not washing mushrooms, making a paste from garlic and salt and not over crowding the pan if you want a good sear on your food…duh.

I ended up flipping back and forth from whatever I was watching like Bill Maher and a documentary on Mobsters to the Food Network and things were worse than I had initially thought….the network was not stagnant…it was neck deep in the stupidity that inspired my boycott of network television! Scary thing is this is coming from a self described “trash TV Maven” I watch reality TV people and that is trashy as it gets…Food Network was worse than, The Real Housewives of Atlanta. At least the people that make assholes of themselves on a reality show are honest, (and by honest I mean we all know why they are there)…the cheesy grinned, eye rolling, “Oh My God my food is so good” oozing “chefs” we so full of crap, I felt like I was watching an infomercial. I did dig the Diners, Dives and Drive Ins or whatever, the show with the spiky white blonde haired guy…love that kind of food and will be hitting up his website before my next road trip but other than that there was very little that inspired more than a thumb on the “last” channel button.

I am so tired of being dumbed down, maybe that is why I ended up embracing reality television, crime stories and sports, I can be sold, I’m an easy enough audience but I aint buying stupid, fake or pandering. What happened to the Food Network that taught me so much, catapulted me to my kitchen and had me tuned in day after day….is it as silly as I think or have my tastes out grown the Food Network?

This got me thinking about the way my taste in wine has changed…my one bragging/wine geek thing is I skipped California Chardonnay, hated it always and never drank that Kool Aid, however it was responsible for my first real, “Oh I do smell something besides just wine” moment….smelled like popcorn and I kept thinking, “why would anyone want to drink that”….I did however love Zinfandel back in 1997, it was my first favorite red. Those of you that have come to understand my palate might fear that your head will explode but it is true I assure you. That jammy soft red was my gateway into red wine but after a year or two of tasting, drinking and honing my palate I grew bored with the one dimensional and shifted over to the Old World, thirsting for refreshment, complexity and infinite drinkability.

This is where one might fear being labeled a snob but I don’t think that is true at all….you learned to read with Dick & Jane, are you still reading those, I’m gonna guess not. Just like learning anything, each layer adds to the total that is your knowledge…..it is only you that can decide when to stop learning. Just like Zinfandel the Food Network felt stuck, lacking in complexity and looking for that one hit that increases their popularity with no thought to creating an organic relationship for the long run….could very well be the way it is, but I for one…just don’t get it. That being said I am a giant dork, I look forward to new vintages like Star Wars fans look forward to each episode….yes, I am a wine groupie.

As it sits I think I will stick to my Top Chef programming, funky Loire reds and being a total spaz looking for the footprint of each new vintage….

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