Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Um...Ewe




I was helping a lady with glassware today, she was a housekeeper that had broken one of her bosses glasses...thing was all she knew she needed was Riedel, "Let me just call him" she told me and I went back to the counter to finish an order I was working on. She returns and says, "Oh he needs to talk to you"...now here's the thing, I'm not one of those germ freaks, I can pee without a seat cover and all but...I do have a little, "thing" about using a strangers cell phone. Not sure what it is, maybe because I see all the oil and makeup that gets on my own phone, maybe it's the stranger spittle...dunno but it kinda skeeves me out, so I felt myself making the crinkled brow, "oh please don't make me do it" face and that's when she handed me this







Duuuuudddde, you want me to cram this ear bud, that you just yanked from one of your orifices into MY ear?! What I wouldn't have given for a greasy, makeup and spittle covered cell phone. I looked at her in complete shock and...lied. "I don't know how to use these" and tried to hand it back to her, "Oh you just pop it in your ear" she relpied handing the damn thing back to me.
Ewe
Veto
Vile

9 comments:

vickibarkley said...

She might as well have handed you her chewed gum. GRoss.

Benito said...

I can fake enough sign language to indicate that I'm able to speak and read lips, but that I cannot hear. Your need to complete an errand ends at my bodily orifices.

Like you, I'm not a germaphobe, but one of my pet peeves is using a keyboard or mouse that is used daily by someone who slathers on hand lotion all day... That crap cakes up on the plastic forming a greasy, nasty layer of filth.

Samantha Dugan said...

Thanks you two, thought it was just me....shiver.

David McDuff said...

I've been handed many a cell phone on the wine room floor over the past few years and never really let it phase me. An earbud, though? Never. And yikes! At that, I'd definitely draw the line.

Thomas Pellechia said...

I would have politely said, "here's my phone number. have him call me directly, please."

Too many idiots out and they need to be rebuffed.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

We have so much in common, it's freaky! I don't use a seat cover when I pee either! Awesome!

I'd share stuff from your earhole any day, My Love! A stranger? Just tell her you'll talk to her boss through her other ear--he'll be able to hear.

I adore you.

Your HoseMaster

Samantha Dugan said...

David,
Happens to me on the floor all the time too, still just kind of grosses me out but this...seriously?

Thomas,
I should have but I was just so shocked...who would think that was okay?

Ron,
My HoseMaster Sir, only YOU could say, "earhole" and make me blush.

Andrew said...

why didnt she just put you on speakerphone?

Samantha Dugan said...

Andrew,
Damn fine question me amigo, no idea.