Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Navigating New Waters
So I think I might be a bit of a creature of habit, guess much like everyone else I tend to repeat my daily patterns without much thought, same route to work, same parking space, same lather, rinse, repeat deal in the shower. Bound to happen when you are at home, I mean your stuff doesn’t like, pick up and move or anything, the shampoo is right where you left it, your spot on the couch is perfect suited and molded to fit your ass…it’s just life’s little routines, it’s what we do, but every so often we are forced to change things up, take a trip to Dallas for instance.
So my first night here was spent pretty much drunk and it was so emotionally charged that falling into bed and actually falling asleep was a non issue. Sure “some” people may say I passed out but I much prefer, “falling into bed and falling asleep” kinda like how I prefer the term brown out over black out…makes me feel less bad about my behavior. Wish I could say Sunday was better but starting with Bloody Mary’s and sinking into that, “I cannot believe we are all here” and, “Gonna try and not be a blubbering mess the whole trip” feeling found me…. “falling into bed” once again, this time however I took notice of how silent my room was, how dark…how not home it was. I thought about my little buddy in the next room feeling the same way and rather than have yet another drink, I got up and grabbed my ipod. Selected my most soothing Dave Matthews CD and let him, and his familiar voice sing me to sleep.
I had taken a shower late Sunday evening and really hadn’t taken notice of the treacherous landscape that was my bathroom, gotta love a buzzy, fearless girl right? Well Monday morning, after washing the drunkard day off my flesh, letting the water revive me, prepare me for whatever the day had in store, I turned off the water to find….that tub was kind of deep. While I loved that I could be submerged up to my ears….with like two other people and have room to like swim and junk, it made me nervous about the, “climb” out of that canyon. Just to give you an idea, I’m like five foot six, (probably more like five, five and a half but…) and standing there, buck naked of course, (that was for you Mr. HoseMaster Sir) the tub came up to about two inches above my knee, bit of a hurdle no? Mix that with being wet and having the conditioner and soap you just rinsed off your hair and skin acting as a lubricant beneath your feet…well I climbed out of there like a kid at fat camp scaling a wall…so sad and not at all flattering might I just add.
I survived and had a bitch of a time applying my makeup, again….things were just not where they were supposed to be, the counter too high, the lighting off…not familiar, but managed to slap myself together before Amy and I headed out to check out a wine store and wine bar she had read about. So liquid eyeliner in Texas humidity, not so much friends…looked like Baby Jane at one point, just another notch on my, “fuck this is different” belt. Got to the wine bar to find that it was not open on Monday, not to worry….we can head to the wine shop, the wine shop that doesn’t open until 2:00….dammit, unfamiliar. We got a bite to eat and the very unfamiliar came slamming down on me amigo pretty hard…being here, in this place she has no interest in being just landed on her like a ton of bricks, “I’m really tired, you mind if we just go back so I can take a nap?” she confided, how could I…I am here for her. I scaled that fat kid wall, had sore ears from a night of headphones, and humidity induced facial smears to be here for her… “Of course we can go back. I’m not here to see the town, I’m here for you” I told her. She snuggled down into a nap and I was able to feel a bit of home, that’s right I had the remote and I got to watch Law & Order, lots of it.
Amy emerged from her overwhelmed induced nap just in time to see Sexy Bitch arrive home from work, we hit the town but she was just not really in the mood to explore, can’t say as I blame her. We came back home, cried a lot, talked a lot and I let my tear filled eyes fall upon something very comforting, a case of Agrapart 7 Cru Champagne and a case of Bailly Sancerre that Amy had purchased to bring with her to Texas…familiar.
I climbed into bed last night, headphones on, Dave making me feel at home, singing words that I had heard a million times, familiar. Now have you ever had to sleep in a pull out bed with a needy, please touch me, I can’t get comfortable, ninety pound, one-eyed dog named Bear? Cannot say as I recommend it, nice to see his sweet one-eyed face but damn dude…
I have to leave tomorrow night, leave my best friend here to navigate very unfamiliar waters, leave her to start her life here, a life that for the time being will not have me in it…one of the most painful things I have ever been through, either of us has ever been through. She is alone here…I am going home to my shampoo being right where I left it, my cushions on the couch in the shape of my ass. The one thing we have is wine, we can both drink Bailly Sancerre and Agrapart Champagne and think of each other, the years, the hours we have spent together with those wines, they taste like us, like our history, our future. I’ll keep the wine cold for you Aims, cheers to you, cheers to this new adventure and cheers to us. I love you, will love you wherever you are and I will always have a cold bottle of Bailly or Agrapart waiting.