Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Ladies I'm Calling You Out

Okay, so while it is true that I am the General Manager of The Wine Country, as well as the French wine buyer…fancy no? Yeah well along with those lofty titles I have the added bonus of bathroom attendant when it’s needed…hooray me. It’s not an official title, and it is something we all kinda jump in and do but, seems like I always end up being the one that, “finds” the mess that needs attending, just lucky like that I guess.

So I’m all for solidarity and what not, I’m down for the sista’s and all but dude…..what the hell happens to you lovely ladies when you walk into a public restroom?! You walk in, all dolled up, smelling like a meadow, oh and can we talk about that too…y’all stank, for the love of all that is holy, can you please save the smelly goo until after the tasting? Miss. Shalimar….you have clearly been wearing that dreadful stuff too long, it has destroyed your filter…you my dear wreak to high heaven, sorry but somebody had to say it…you walk in looking like a million bucks and leave the tinkle-la-torium looking like a prison cell…wtf?!

I’m a chick, I know all the nasty business that goes on, it’s gross, I get it but do you have to let the rest of know it’s “that time of the month”…I assure you, we’re not curious. Germs are an issue for many of you, while I don’t get it I am sympathetic, but can you not just like double up on the seat liners? Must you hover over the wizzer and leave yer…er, um..mark?! You’re gonna wash your hands like a surgeon anyway, why not gather your wiz papers and then wash? Yuck.

Cannot tell you what it is like in there after a busy tasting, seriously ladies…I always think about that guy, the one that looks like he just hit the lotto when he walks out with the heavily perfumed, hair sprayed stumbler that over enjoyed her first wine tasting, yes she is lovely, yes she is feeling all loose and frisky and yes she just left a poo smear on the ladies room toitty, enjoy yer delicate flower dude....score!

A little decorum is all I ask….too much?


vickibarkley said...

I'm totally with you on this one, Girl! At my place of employment, the people aren't even (supposed to be) tipsy, but sober as deacons. Our restrooms are unisex, and I'd much rather follow a man in than a woman, for all the reasons you list. Men, knowing that they are sharing their restroom with female colleagues, seem to be much more conscious about how they leave the bathroom. Go figure.

stephanie said...

wasn't me.

Samantha Dugan said...

Foul...it is just foul. You two are grown so I'm sure you two are taking care of your business but....ewe, I'm just sayin; EWE!

Arthur said...

While in college, I worked as part of the maintenance/janitorial crew of the student center.
Hands down, the women's bathrooms were the messiest.

Samantha Dugan said...

My husband had the same job in college and he said your exact words, verbatim.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Sam,

Meet me in the mens room in fifteen minutes...We'll make it messy!

Your HoseMaster