Thursday, January 7, 2010

Maybe Don't Do That

(Phone rings)
Me—“Good afternoon The Wine Country”

Them—“ Um….yeah, I was, um..(chewing their lunch, smacking there was lip smacking and that gross saliva sound) can you tell me where I can find Capetta Stella Rosa, (a sweet, fizzy $10 red wine) near where I am?”

Me—Nothing, I said nothing as I was waiting for the rest of her lunch to go down so she could finish her sentence.

Them—More chewing and smacking

Me—Cringing and waiting….



Them—“Can you tell me where I can find the Stella Rosa near me?”

Me—“Well, um, I don’t know where you are…”

Them—“Oh I live in the San Gabriel Valley and I don’t want to have to drive to your store, so can you tell me who has it in my area?”

I stood there, phone nestled between my chin and shoulder wearing my, “You’ve got to be shitting me” face. Not only was I treated to the melodic stylings of your nom-nom-nomming your lunch but now you want me, as a retailer, to tell you where you should take your business…what the hell?! I sucked in my breath, regained my customer service composure, (thank Gawd it was on the phone, I know the wtf was all over my mug) and explained that we were retailers so I would have no idea who might have her sweet, fizzy red wine in her area but there is always Wine Searcher. “Oh, oh…well can’t you, (nom-nom smack) just look it up in your computer and tell me?”…did she think we had like LoJack transmitters on Stella Rosa? “Yeah, there is really no way for me to figure out who might have it near you but Wine Searcher” I was cut off with a, “Well can you give me the phone number of the distributer?”…now I am all about customer service but c’mon, that is a lot to ask of a store that you are trying to not have to come to….right? I compromised, I gave her the name of the distributer and told her if she Googled it the number would come up. She thanked me and the call ended….um, just a little tip here, maybe don’t do that.

End little rant and public service announcement.


Michael Hughes said...

Sometimes I hate people...I really do

Nancy Deprez said...

Sounds super God-awful. Ick!

Samantha Dugan said...

Felt like a test...seriously

Sara Louise said...

I'm sure Darwinism will take care of her soon

vickibarkley said...

Holy Shit.
I mean, if she couldn't find anyone near her, how did she expend the effort to get YOUR number??
Sounds like she needs to go to Chevre No.

Eric V. Orange said...

I love your style, Samantha!

Your story reminds me of a fellow who emailed me, asking for a list of Belgium beers available in Milwaukee.

In my typical smooth customer service way, I asked “How the does an online calendar of food and wine events translate into getting you a list of Belgium beers in Milwaukee???”

But that’s just me.


Samantha Dugan said...

That made me snort!

See this is what killed me about the whole thing, I think she had been getting the wine from us, (she did not say that but it was the feeling I had) which is part of what made that whole thing want me to do all this for you so you can spend your money somewhere else?! We need EVERY sale in times like these, well anytime really, so spending our time trying to help someone find another place to shop is not the best use of that time right?

Very nice, people are magic I swear. I'm always tempted to go all, "Rawr" on people like this lady, the ones that are so wrapped up in their own shit, (hello, you are not the queeen so no, I don't know where you live...tard) and clearly have no loyality but....picking on the stupid just seems like a cheap shot. I'll save my bite for the fuckers that are mean or rude, so much more fun to take those people down a peg or two. Thankfully most of our customers are wicked cool so it almost never happens.

k2 said...

I've tried for years to just say, sure, and using the power of the "Internets" I can track down what they want, but in this crazy whirlwind of a business, it's hard to be that nice anymore. It would have been really hard for me not to ask, "by the way, how's your lunch/dinner/whatever, it SOUNDS delicious?! I haven't eaten yet, I just can't seem to get away from the phone today."

Samantha Dugan said...

I always try to help too but this whole exchange was just so strange, and I have never in my life heard someone eat with such vigor, was truly revolting.

John M. Kelly said...

Sam I hope you are backing up this blog, and maybe keeping some extra notes on little gems like this. Maybe the good with the bad? Seriously, someday I think you have a book in this. Mine would be titled "Go F**k Yourself - And Other Stories of Excellent Customer Service" or something like that (BTW - you can use that title if you want, just put me in the dedication.)

Samantha Dugan said...

Ohhhhh, there is the book idea I was waiting for...wicked smart you are. I will give you credit and send you virtual hugs.