Sunday, December 5, 2010

What True Happiness Looks Like



Just purchased....for Jeremy. I will in fact get my only Christmas wish, a hug from my baby on Christmas morning.

Just yesterday I was working the floor at the shop, the Christmas Cd's in full shuffle and (admittedly hormonal) twice I found myself with tears in my eyes. First when I'll Be Home for Christmas came on....gawd what a horribly depressing song that is. Now I know it was created to be uplifting and all but holy hell what a dagger when you are feeling all sorry for yourself.

Second was when Baby It's Cold Outside cycled in, this is Jeremy's favorite Christmas song. When he worked for us at The Wine Country and this song would come on he would crane his neck looking for me, do this adorable Sinatra-like snapping thing and sing it to me. When it came on yesterday I instinctively scanned the store looking for him. Totally crazy right, I knew he wasn't going to be there grinning and snapping his fingers but my momma thing kicked in...I looked. Half a second later I was on my way to the ladies room trying desperately to act like I was not about to lose my shit.

This morning it took only four words and I was once again in tears, "The baby is booked".....one more Christmas song played in my head, This Is My Grown Up Christmas Wish.

Best gift I have ever received....

10 comments:

Do Bianchi said...

We love Xmas music and "Baby It's Cold Outside" is one of our FAVS!

Love that stuff!

This Jeremy will give you a hug, too, but in February... ;-)

Samantha Dugan said...

Jeremy...the other Jeremy,
Cannot tell you how excited I am to being going to Italy with you and Alfonso! Thank you so much for inviting me, thinking of me and I will be picking that hug up in February.

chris said...

YIPPEE for 1) Christmas with Jeremy and 2) Italy in February.

Samantha Dugan said...

chris,
So very excited about both. The thought of not having the kid home for the holidays was pretty much killing any holiday spirit I have, now it's back and it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas....finally.

The trip to Italy came as quite a surprise and I cannot wait. Now I just need to think of something to make my heart pound away in January and it looks to be 3 months of excitement. Maybe another trip to the North of California....

webb said...

Excellent news! They may grow up but they are always YOUR children. Glad yours will be with you this year.

Sara Louise said...

I'm beaming with happiness for you! Your holiday spirit just got cranked up a notch :-)

Samantha Dugan said...

Webb,
So very true. As a parent of a 21 year old you know that some day there is a real chance that their lives will take them in directions that may not include you or your plans...this was my first little pang of that feeling. First he couldn't come home for Thanksgiving and then maybe not for Christmas, I didn't handle it as well as I had hoped I would but this news has brought me a big bunch of happiness and the scare or feeling is now something I know....not sure I'll ever like it but at least I have an idea what it's going to feel like now. For now I will take this wine and hug it as tightly as I can!

Sara,
Thanks lady! I am beyond thrilled and now I simply cannot wait to get my Christmas hug.

Valerie said...

Such good news - all of it! So - Italy! Yay! I'm not going back until April (insert grumbling and bad words here), so now I'll have to live vicariously through you...

Thomas said...

Bah, humbug. If Christmas songs were played only the week of maybe I'd like them. As the system is, I hate them.

As for Jeremy and you, Sam--great news. You raised a gem and you proved that you are one, too.

Samantha Dugan said...

Valerie,
Will be my first trip so I am positively giddy. Cannot wait to see, smell and taste some of the things you have written about.

Thomas,
Gotta say my boss is pretty good, least he waits until December to start the Christmas music. Jeremy is in fact a gem and it is amazing to me what a wonderful human he is. Thank you for giving a rat's ass kid, just could not contain my excitement yesterday....