Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Not Funny Joke

So I was not going to say anything about the Wine Blog Awards. I was just going to slink away in defeat, lick my wounds and try to forget the whole thing but, well I think it is kind of a weenie move to just ignore it. I’m just going to get this out there so no one thinks I am bitter because I didn’t make the finals; I did not want nor did I think I would make the finals. This blog full of my silly rants, sexually driven pictures, lustful descriptors, stories about my life and history with wine…this blog was never really a wine blog, just a blog about a wine chick…nothing more. I do not want to be pigeonholed into writing just about wine, upcoming wine events, Robert Parker or the 100 point system. Those things bore the shit out of me and if being a wine blogger means I am stuck droning out the same tired conversation then I happily shout from the top of my little steaming pile, “I am not a wine blogger!” therefore I could not and should not win any award for being one.

I woke Monday morning and did as I always do; coffee, MSNBC and nuzzling up to my beloved laptop to get caught up on my blog reading. I skimmed Heimoff, seems like I am always skimming Heimoff….don’t get me wrong I think Steve is a very good writer but, well it just seems like half the time I am reading it feels like déjà vu, “this again?” I do love his comments though and find that I spend more time there than reading the actual posts. I’m in the business so much of what he writes about, writes very well about are things I have already gone over and discussed at work. Not really looking for homework so I skim and read the comments. I clicked through my little blog roll and landed on, On the Wine Trail in Italy (I really have to learn how to put those linky things in) and was thrilled to find Alfonso had a new post up. I began reading his post, Rendezvous with Roma and found myself lost and walking the streets with him. Each word felt like a paintbrush on my skin and I found myself getting sad when I could tell it was going to end soon, “No no no, I want more” beautiful, it was a beautifully written piece and I felt lucky to have started my morning with it.

Figured I would check the Wine Blog Awards website, see if the Chinese hacker was still there or if they had in fact posted the finalists, they had. I excitedly scrolled down to the “Best Writing” nominees the whole time my mind still heavy with Alfonso’s words and beginning to wonder how I was going to choose between he and Ron Washam over at The HoseMaster of Wine, two titans of talent whose gift with the English language just get me off. I scrolled up and down twice before it sunk in, they weren’t there….neither of them were there WTF?! I literally sat there for over ten minutes, just looking at the list, my heart sinking….how could this be? Utterly deflated I just closed the window like covering a dead body with a sheet, didn’t even bother to vote for anything.

It has been since pointed out that I was naïve to believe that the awards were about anything other than stoking the social media machine, about more than vanilla and I will own up to the fact that I did believe that talent…actual talent was going to be rewarded and appreciated. Now let me say that I cannot even really remember the full list of finalists but two of them are in fact very good writers and I wish them good luck. There was one however that just left me wondering who the hell the judges were and if they ever even bothered to read the nominated blogs. Dreadful, a dreadful blog with pretty terrible writing, this piece of shit is nominated for Best Writing on a Wine Blog and two of the most talented writers I’ve had the pleasure to read were not. Joke. I went from being deflated to thinking that the whole thing was a joke, too bad it wasn’t a good one.

So there you have it, my take on the whole blog awards thing. If I sound bitter then you get the point. I’m no longer angry and I know both of the dudes that were left off the list don’t care, shit one of them probably would have been pissed had he made it. But I will be taking a pass on playing this year, not voting, taking my toys and going home.

There I said it now we can get back to talking sex and wine.

Your Faithful Non Wine Blogger


John M. Kelly said...

Sam, thank you for writing about your enjoyment of wine; thanks for writing about you. It's far more interesting, engaging and entertaining than all the pedestrian ranking and description going on out there.

K2 said...


Fear not. You are a phenomenal writer who doesn't need those tired accolades to tell you what a lot of us already know. Believe me, I felt a bit slighted too when I saw the list that came out, but I remembered that I don't write for those secret 11, I write for myself, and the few lunatics who happen to read what I have to say. And you have a host of more devoted readers, so chin up girl, no matter what those dolts say, you still rock!

Joe said...

I visited those nominated blogs. Some are great, but...yikes! There are many who are not tireless self-promoters who I think are great and not on the list. Not that self-promotion is bad, but folks can get caught up in the hype of the campaign and select based on that, with no regard for the substance in the background. From the school student council to Washington D.C., it's always going to be a popularity contest. Unless there's money involved, I'll happily avoid such shenanigans (especially since I, too, am not a wine blogger).

Cheers to not-Wine Bloggers!

Samantha Dugan said...

It is my pleasure I assure you. I get to ramble on and in doing so I get to meet and fall in love with people like you...dear friends that I am better for having met.

See this was why I was not going to say anything, I feared this would turn into a "We love you Sam" fest. You are and always have been a very sweet and supportive friend, you humble me with your praise kid, I mean that. I would like to make clear the fact that I should not have even been nominated so I harbored no delusions of winning, not in the least. I was however crushed when I saw the list. I just kept thinking, "You have got to be kidding me" and thinking about all the moving and side splitting posts I had read and those names were not there, sucked and felt the same as when I found out there was no Santa.

Thank you as always for the kind words and before this love train pulls away from the station let me say I adore you all and I know how much you all support and care about me. It is my pleasure to write for and to you. I've always said my reward is found here in my comments section. I'm absolutely fine all, just wanted to piss and moan about the "awards" is all. No need to gush all over me and junk. I appreciate the gesture but I promise it is not it for when I am feeling all needy.
Big Hugs

Charlie Olken said...

Ah, my dear Samantha. fear not. Despite the fact that you are a wine blogger since wine is the common denominator around here, you are not a wine writer. Leave that stuff to Heimoff, Gregutt, Yarrow, Doc Vino, WineDude, Asimov.

You and Ron and Alfonso have just won the biggest wine blogger award possible. You three have won the "Too Hip To Win Popularity Contests" Award.

Oh, and you have the most intellectually and emotionally challenging and rewarding wine blogs in existence. Oh, and you have also won the "We Love You and Your Blog" Award. That is a far, far better thing than winning the "We Like Your Wine Writing" Award.

Some day, there may be categories for the kinds of writing that attracts the folks who read you (and Ron and Alfonso), but today there is not.

Artistic expression so far is not a category-- and the "Best Writing" category clearly does not seem to care about beauty of thought, beauty of language and beauty of intellect.

Forget the awards. We already have.

Thomas said...

Alfonso's writing is inspirational--it should NOT be included in a vacuous awards competition.

Sam, when you have something that allows certain people to sell the free buzz that you create, you'll win an award. Until then, you don't serve their purpose. Maybe you need to drop into your posts a few names of low end producers with marketing dollars and plans.

Either that, or remain a non-wine blogger.

Sip with Me! said...

No gushing, but sex and wine writing by my favorite dude? Please get back to it. I know you're disappointed, but things always are about much more than we know. Who are those secret judges and what's their motivation ($)? I've learned to give up on anything that relies on votes 9-10 (?) years ago, didn't you? And yes, Ron should have been at the top of that list, we all know that. But you're still the first non-wine-blog I read each day, thanks for being here. I'll be at that conference this year, and when they announce the winner, I'll be saying my own private little cheers to the one's who should really be honored.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

How many discussions about the Poodles did we have? I was sure you'd be nominated, you kept saying that I would be. I knew we would both be ignored. And I'm grateful.

I won't make this more of a lovefest, Darling. You know how I feel about you. But just look at the great, big, beautiful comedy that it all is. That's the reward. Honestly, I haven't laughed this hard in months at all the vanity and insanity on display. And none of it is about those lonely poodles. It's all about the OWC and the WBC and the other marketing dimwits who want to use our talents for their own reward.

Let's just laugh at them. It's the only honorable thing.

k2 said...

Sorry for the saccharine shower Sam. I know you don't need all the "attagirls". I sort of ignore the whole Wine Blog Awards thing because I know I haven't a shot in hell ever. I think for you, you sort of transcend one genre (wine blogging) and encompass more of a life-and-living-blog that just so happens to incorporate wine. Not sure the true criteria for the awards besides being a complete prostitute for one's self. I'm a whore, but I have standards(though they aren't usually too high). Cheers!

Alfonso Cevola said...

I remember a teacher in college telling me when he worked with Frank Lloyd Wright and Wright told him that a committee choosing a winner in a contest will always choose a mediocre one (from L. mediocris "of middling height or state") because they will never be able to all decide on what constitutes excellence. So I have never really been too interested in competitions or placed much credibility in them, because I have found that to be pretty much the way things go. One exception is the Squirrel Awards but those are really just for fun.

But hey, I love my job and my blog (even though according to Tom Wark they both represent the devil) and I am happy to travel and write and photograph and drink wine and sell wine and hang out with you guys on these pages. Thanks for the kind words, Sam and Thomas. Both of you are folks whom I love to read. So isn’t that reward enough?

And besides it spares all of us the embarrassment of sending those “please vote for me” emails, like the one (two actually) that I got (I hope accidentally) from Koeppel.

Samantha Dugan said...

I swear it was not for me that I was wounded, it was seeing peoples work that I so admire being overlooked...that and that one insulting blog up for best writing, fuck that just pissed me off. I am forgetting about it with all by "way too cool for that shit" friends. I look at other blogs and their comments and I swear Ron and I have hands-down the coolest and smartest readers...that there is about the best feeling ever. Well that and all the flirting...makes me feel all sexy and junk.

Sip with Me,
Gonna pour some Pinot for the hommies that aint there no mo?! So freaking sweet of you. I will be back on the sultry posting soon as I kill this horrid hangover!

Yes, his writing is truly inspiring and no way in hell I'm gonna pimp shit I don't or wont drink. For what? Free bottles of more wine I wont drink...nope aint gonna happen so I guess you are all stuck with my non wine blogging.

It actually makes my flesh crawl reading some of those vote for me posts. Another reason I knew I could never win, not a chance in hell I would ever do that...ick.

Ron My Love,
We get ignored by those cheesy awards folks but look at the cool-ass bastards that hang out with us...pretty awesome bunch of wicked cool cats right? I adore and admire you kid.

Didn't mean to spank you for the lovins kid, just wanted to try to make it clear that I was not at all upset so no one needed to goo all over me. You touched me with you sweetness and understanding and I thank you so very much for that. I am glad you write for you pal and I enjoy reading your blog as well.

Swooned, I swooned when I read that post and I think the power of that made the seeing of that retarded list all the more painful. I love your posts and am honored every time you visit me do it more often! Good luck on the squirrel awards darlin'

Sara Louise said...

I love your 'Not Looking Busy Pouting' photo.

And most awards things like that are total BS and pretty much fixed (I actually have no idea but they probably are like most things). My point is... award?! you don't need no stinking award!

Samantha Dugan said...

That picture makes me giggle each time I see it. How bad do you want, (oh wait you no like the kitties right?) to pick that kitten up and snuggle, me either. I swear I was not upset about not getting a finalist spot, just look at the list and you will see why. Lame. Just kinda bummed about how transparent the lack of consideration for actual writing talent was. No matter, you my lovely girlfriend have given me awards and each and every one of you that post comments and take the time to read me....well, that is the only reward that really means anything to me. Well that and I got me a Squirrel Award this evening! Soon as I can figure out how I will proudly post my little squirrel badge thingie

TWG said...

Can't believe you weren't nominated for best wine blog - photography. You'll need more pedestrian writing to win anything like that. And add some sponsers.

Samantha Dugan said...

Yup working on my "How I spent my summer vacation" style writing right now, that outta get me some free samples of Argentine Malbec and Sparkling Gruner....

Chris said...

Sam, Ron, and Alfonso-

You capture the elusive essence of wine with your images and well written words that - like wine - are an elixir to humanity.

Rest assured that you have an audience that appreciates and admires your work.

Dave said...

I think Charlie and Sip with Me summed it up pretty well, but I have the words of Groucho bouncing around in the vacuum between my ears:

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

Of course I'm jaded after being turned down by Tim Hanni for the CWA judging. My recommended pairing of the March vintage of Lodi Tokay with Spaghetti-Os must have tipped them off that I was over qualified.

Keep up the sensual and profound as well as the pissing and moaning, it's all part of the whole.

Samantha Dugan said...

And you dear friend are the kind of ointment that soothes my soul. Thank you for the kind words here and over on the Hose dude's site, (he will soon be too fancy to visit but you and I can say we knew him when)...and I can honestly say if it were not for people like you I would have hung this sappy virtual rag up long ago.

Don't know how else to do it baby. This is what I got people either like it or don', super glad you do. I was just recently flogged for a roasted poodle and Pinotage pairing so I feel ya...we should meet for a Martini and drown our sorrows.

Anonymous said...

all of this emotion over the f*cking wine blogger awards is hilarious - both from those who were nominated, and those who were (ahem) not. i'm glad you were able to get this off your chest, but seriously you and ron need to get a room.

Samantha Dugan said...

Can't say as I disagree with your assessment of the awards situation but what should anyone expect from a bunch of people bored/lonely/emotional enough to put all their crap on the internet for all to see and those that, (ahem) like to watch? Silly, absolutely....surprising, not in the least. Trust me I felt like an idiot for thinking it was to be anything but a marketing gimmick but it is not a mistake I plan on making twice.

Ron and I should get a room? What about me and Charlie or Sip with Me? While I do find admiration a power aphrodisiac I think voyeurism is even hotter. This is MY room and it comes with big open windows. Whomever I choose to make love to here, cover with my sticky, oily heavily scented, momentary or long term want, well it is out in the open for all to see and feel. I am a lot of things but one thing I can proudly wear like a badge of honor, (along with my Squirrel Award) is, I am not emotionally or sexually "repressed" or fearful. All of my feelings are out here on display in my room; the good, the painful, the sensual and the "fuck it feels good to be adored". Thankfully the internet is just like a room, it has doors and you can choose to walk through them or not. Glad you saw fit to step in this time, hope to see you again but be warned...there is plenty of naked round this place so if you are easily icked out by that then you might toss a Do Not Disturb sign on this door and might I recommend Chronic Negress for more "civil" wine reading.

Dave said...

I wonder if the Chronic Negress wears a caftan?