Tuesday, May 18, 2010

How Do You Do That?

Landed at LAX last night feeling just a bit of pressure, we had made plans to meet our neighbors for our standing Monday night dinner at Mario’s. Before I left I took my beloved Flo, (the name of the car from the movie Cars, that Tyler got me for Valentine’s Day) across the way to my adorable four year old boyfriend and asked if he wouldn’t mind watching her while I was gone. We both take our Flo’s to Mario’s every Monday, and every Monday he yells across the parking lot of the restaurant, “Did you bring your Flo?” in that deep from the pit of his tiny little belly way. Each Monday I pull Flo from my purse and I get the big grin of approval which rings in the beginning of an evening of me being wooed and melted by the cutest kid…like ever. Well seeing as our flight was to land at around 5:00 pm and when you have dinner plans with a one and four year old it has to be pretty early, around 6:00 pm…I knew it would be cutting it too close to fly home from the airport, dump off my bags, grab Flo and run across the street in time for dinner. I figured having Tyler watch my toy and bring it to dinner would do two things; one let him know that I was coming back and two save me time or the sad face I would get for arriving without my Flo. I talked with him about it the afternoon before we left and being the serious kid, (he is ultra serious in some ways and a total goofball in others) that he is I knew my toy would be there at dinner.

We pulled into Mario’s parking lot at exactly the same time as the neighbors; I was dragging…just exhausted from the “relaxing” weekend full of booze and the flight from the other side of the country and still sporting my resort wear….a step up from the Resist Prohibition t-shirt that I usually toss on before our little Monday date. I felt a little pop of energy as I opened the car door; four days….I was only gone for four days and dammit if I didn’t miss that kid. I quickly made my way to their car as Mom was pulling my wee boyfriend from his car seat. I watched his tiny frame spin around, that big head full of blonde hair turn and those big, most expressive blue eyes I’ve ever seen just light up when he saw me. I stood there in my bright greenish yellow, longer in the front, open but draped sweater with my new lacy at the top, crinkled textured white tank top feeling like a fairy princess.

He quickly plunged his pudgy digits into the pocket of his jeans while yelling, (much louder than he needed to by the way) “Sam I have something for you!!” and extended his little arm…my Flo. I guess the plan was for him to pretend he forgot it but he was just so damned excited when he saw me that that little prank went right out the window, melted. We had a blast Tyler and I, a much more reserved dinner than usual; no face painting with Ranch dressing or ketchup and no blowing messy bubbles in our drinks, so I was a grown up for once and Tyler took my lead. Not sure if it was the time away or the outfit but he was so freaking shyly cuddly last night. Still playful and full of Tyler expression….which really is larger than life, I swear I will post video one day and you will all see what I am up against here. One friend upon joining us for one of our dinners said, “That kid could bring you the head of a dead kitten and yell “special delivery” and he would still be the most charming kid alive”.....big voice, big eyes, lots of gesturing, freaking adorable but he seemed much more interested in finding little ways to snuggle with me than playing cars. A very lovely homecoming I really must say but as I sat there in the middle of my bestest date ever, sipping my second margarita I couldn’t help but find myself still “missing” a bit.

“I think Tyler missed me a little” I said to his father when he came over later for a visit, “Yeah he hid it well” he responded. “Could he have found any more ways to lay his head on you and touch your shirt?” his father said wearing slightly pink cheeks and the tiniest, ‘That’s my boy” smirk. We laughed about it as I assured him that it was fine and in fact….it made me feel as special, and frankly beautiful as I had in days. I poured myself a second glass of Rose. The bright fruit, the freshness and vibrancy in that wine was just the little bump of life that I needed to get me through to bedtime but also gave me a taste of what it was that I was still missing….wine.

As those of you that read my Momma series might have gathered, May is kind of tough on me…this year a bit more than others as it is the ten year mark. I think that combination of Mother’s Day, her birthday, the last night I saw her and the anniversary of her death coming within two weeks of each other, well it can be a lot, consuming and not in a great way. I let that distraction and bit of reflection keep me from spending time with and really letting wine touch me. The Rose was a good reminder but it did not, could not have the power to reignite my fizzled out wine wick.

I opened a 2005 Chateau de Segries Cotes du Rhone this afternoon, a perfectly tasty wine that filled my palate and pleased me enough; nice dark fruit, deep violets and just a kiss of brown sugar with soft integrated tannin and a supple finish. Nice, quite nice really but like the Rose not quite enough to spin me, light me up, fill that little “missing” space that I have been unable to shake. I sat here awhile just trying to will it to be enough and wondering if I was stuck in the middle of some freaky wine slump. Not good, not good at all. That was when I made another pass by the old wine fridge, I tried to pretend that I was just looking things over…..just wondering what I had left but I knew why I was there. I needed to be made love to, seduced, have my protective layers peeled back and have something I love, something decadent, something that was going to shake me, plunged inside me.

I needed something that was going to flip all my switches; my palate, my body, my mind. I needed Burgundy. The second I committed to slipping the bottle out of its resting spot I knew we would spend the night together; no second guessing, no maybe I should waits….fuck if I could have opened a vein to feel this wine I might have. Ready…I was so ready to fall in love again, to feel in love again….to look at a bottle of wine the way that adorable four year old looked at me in Mario’s parking lot, excited, with wonder and thrilled that I still had the night ahead of me.

I peeled the foil from my last bottle of 2001 Comtes Lafon Volnay Santenots-du-Milieu and felt my pulse quicken, already feeling something. The cool neck of the bottle resting in my palm submissive as I pierced its cork and slowly pulled it from the bottle, each little detail noticed…cool bottle, tightening of my forearms, the sweet sound of a cork being pulled from a bottle and that glugging, sloshing sound of wine falling along the sides of a glass and landing upon itself. It was starting, I was beginning to feel that little missing spot fill. I spent five hours with this wine, five hours being pulled in, pushed back and completely lost in love.

Meaty and mushroomy with fine but grippy tannin at first. Red cherries, truffles and coco following that. Rose pedals, a sexy, soft body and that mouth watering want for more to finish. My head is still spinning; my palate fatigued but in that way that making love for hours can make you fatigued….spent, exhausted, mind reeling and that lust for more already making you think about the next time.

How do you do that?


Sip with Me! said...

How do you do that?

Leave it to the dark and brooding French Burgundy to seduce.

I'm jealous. I'm not sure what or whom I'm more jealous of… the luscious bottle of wine that sparked your passion or that adorable little boy with his head all over you. Your stories are like magic, you seem to pull them out of thin air. I'm already thinking about the next time.

Ron Washam said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

Comtes Lafon is as good a way as any to reignite your love affair with wine. Not tough to find sex in those bottles. Rose is flirting, Cotes du Rhone might be serious fondling, but Comtes Lafon is I'll never be able to wear these clothes again sex.

I was just thinking, don't know why, about when Tyler is old enough to read these posts... Hell, I'm not sure I'm old enough to read these posts. Or maybe I'm too old.

But I'm loving them.

And You

Your HoseMaster

Samantha Dugan said...

Sip with Me,
Girlie you flatter me so. The wine was luscious and haunting....the wee one is so sweet and endearing, I am just one lucky woman I guess. To top it off I have lovely people like you reading...lucky.

Tyler will never read these posts, dude he is four and I will have killed this blog long before he has a chance or any interest in wine. I'm lucky to have such a sweet and honest soul so enamored with me. You are not too old kid and looks like you and my lovely Sip with Me are the only ones that liked it! Post vacation fatigue must have made me weak....

TWG said...

Others like it, we just can't read it at work.

Samantha Dugan said...

Got your comment in my inbox but it is not showing up here....strange. Anyway, glad you liked it, I was just kinda crackin' on us bloggers and the fact that sw seek constant validation....okay, well maybe that's just me! As always thanks for reading kid!
Big Hugs

Amy said...

I have always disliked May--my mother died on May 26th 1998. Her mother, my Grandma, died on the same exact date earlier--not sure what year, but she was young. I will be thinking of you the rest of the month; I know the feeling of others forgetting.

Samantha Dugan said...

Okay something funky is happening with my comments. TWG posted and I responded and donde....donde the comments? Anyway Just wanted to let you know I did not delete you kid and thanks for letting me know you dug the post, means a lot.

I wont forget Love. I know May is rough on you as well. Just know that I love you with all my heart and in this one little corner of your life...I understand more than most. Big hugs to you sweet girl.

Chris said...

Dear Sam,

I'm thinking of you today. I found that passing the 10 year milestone makes one's loss a little more bearable.

Samantha Dugan said...

I am so very touched that you remembered. You made my eyes well up with tears and my heart swell with affection. I searched all over my keyboard for the "Hug" key to return the one this comment gave me but....alas all I can say is, thank you. Thank you so much.
Big teary eyed hugs,

K.Mahoney said...

Now that sounds like an amazing welcome home evening. He sounds like a little heartbreaker.


Dave said...

Dearest Sam,

Please know, and I'm sure I speak for numerous others, that the lack of a comment to your heartfelt sharing comes only from unavoidable temporary demands on our lives and time, or the lack of vocabulary to express the thoughts and feelings you've caused to surface. Personally it's a combination of losing my mother during a similar timeframe, freaking unbelievable demands on my work schedule, and a milestone birthday of my lovely wife tomorrow.

I feel short periods of silence indicate an even deeper appreciation since there is time for reflection.

I mean anyone can do those snappy witicisms like that Ron guy, whoever the hell he is, opening a can of Viagra was it?

Passing along a line from my own dear mother...

You can do anything you set your mind to... just know you are loved.

Ron Washam said...


My Mom used to always say, You can do anything you set your mind to--especially if you have Boner in a Can.

Woooo boy, those witticisms just keep on comin'!

And a heartfelt Happy Birthday to your lovely wife, Dave, from the ol' HoseMaster.

My Gorgeous Samantha,

You know I love you! And it's tough losing to a four-year-old, but it sure sounds like he's way more desirable than me.

Just fishin' for compliments, as usual.

Your HoseMaster

TWG said...

And to think I was going to defend the Hosemaster from Dave's comment.

Samantha Dugan said...

Total little dream boat I swear. One day he is going to be told or look back on his little crush on me and wonder WTF?! but for now I am going to enjoy every minute of the adoration and chuckle that I can just look over at him and he gets all giggly and silly. Nice to have someone have a crush on you right, so what if he is four...

You are just the sweetest thing. But wait, are you telling me that people have better things to do than read my sappy bullshit and comment on it?! What up with that? Trust me I fully understand that people have other things that keep them away, I confess that I worry that people don't like something I write when I don't get many comments but I also get that a lot of what I "write" does not always leave open the window for comments. The fact that you guys find a way makes you all so endearing to me. The fact that you are all so vested and open with your own feelings here...there are no words. Happy Birthday to your lovely and from what I can tell, very lucky wife kid...you are just the sweetest.

Ron My Love,
But you see love, you are too far to nuzzle me, lay your head in my lap....pet me and my blouse and put your tiny hands on my face, look at me with big blue eyes and say, "I love you Sam"...and you never got me a Flo. Girls and their toys you know. All that being said...you know I love you!

I felt compelled to correct him, it's Boner in a Can Sir. Freaking HoseMaster gets just as many comments on my blog as I do....

Brigitta said...

Hi Samantha

Im just wondering if it is any chance I can get a copy of one of the picture on the page. It is a black and white picture with a woman standing in front of a rainy window. It would be brilliant If I can. Basically Im a University student and would like to use this image for one of my work and unfortunately i only found a really small copy of this image and would like to get a better quality one.

Thanks a lot