Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A Facebook Note From My Son

So I had this little red flag looking at me on Facebook this evening, "Jeremy Dugan has tagged you in a message"....

Was in no way prepared for what I was to find when I clicked on that red flag. My son, My Jeremy saying me, to every one of his pals on Facebook.

So when describing my mother to people I put it pretty simply "Imagine me 5'5" 1/2 (can't ever forget the 1/2) and white, she's my mini-me". And really that is a real good description of my mother. Because folks, this smart, shit talking (but funny), cocky (but only on the outside), good looking brother you see in front of you today wouldn't be around if it wasn't for Samantha Dugan. She taught me a lot of what I know now about life. She taught me to look at my skin color and her's as no different, how to make light of the subject of race. She's also taught me what the real world was like, even though it is a mother's natural feeling to protect her child(ren) from all the bad things in the world, she let me out into it to see how I would do, and if I needed help; she was there to help me, if I messed up; she was there to correct me. And even though I call her my mini-me, my mother is the person I want to be.

I see her in her life right now; she works at a job she loves (it drives her crazy sometimes but she is doing what she loves so she takes it all in stride), she is writing and getting love from everyone for it. And in both of those areas she is loved, people that have been in those fields longer than her look to her for answers, admire her, want to see what she is doing, and best of all, she has a loving partner there with her every step, that is what I want when I get older. I want to be a history teacher (yea I know a lot of you think that's boring but hey, this is my life) that is damn good at it, I want people that have been teaching for as long as I've been in high school to tell me that I'M changing the way history is taught, coming to ME to get advice.

When I think about it, I want to be my mother’s bigger-me. Now some of y’all reading this are going to ask “why is he doing this over the internet, why not just tell her all this?” You guys don’t know the Dugans then, what’s really on our minds is something that comes out in few forms so when you can get it, take it. Also, that’s how we roll; my mother and I have a bond, a bond that isn’t the same as most mothers and sons, it’s different in a good way. We have this connection that no one can break (and even if they tried we’d break them), a connection that people who don’t know I’m her son or can’t tell that I am, can see that we have something, something odd to even us but we go with it. So why am I doing this over the internet, I’m just trying to be more like S.A.D, the pro writing blogger who is taking the wine blog world over by storm.

Okay this is Sam now. Is there anyway, anything that can make you feel more proud…not just of your child but of the stumbling-through-it that is parenthood than this? I am so proud of my son….turns out, he is proud of me too. I wish there where words, there just aren’t. I was brought to trembling tears by this beautiful expression of love from my sweet son…shared on Facebook for all his friends to see.

Jeremy, your words melt me. Your pride inspires me and your faith pushes me. You are my light young man, you have saved me, honored me and your love is the single greatest, most profound in my life. You and I kid…we did it. I love you.

Damn I could use one of those "My baby" scented hugs right now...


Sara Louise said...

Tears! I have tears!!
Samantha what an amazing present to get from your son, you must be an incredible mom =)

Eric V. Orange said...

Ditto on the tears darlin. I can only hope to have as good a relationship with my son and daughter when they reach that age and beyond.
All is good now, at 8 and 10, but I know the tough years are coming.

Great read Sans.

BTW, I'm coming after that bottle either Wednesday or Thursday next week. Still planning an informal get together Wednesday night, probably near Santa Monica.


Thomas said...

Wow--and he looks a lot like you, Sam. Terrific.

Samantha Dugan said...

Least it wasn't me this time! I was sitting here with one of my neighbors, (the cutie pie's dad) and I clicked on the little notice....saw the title, "My Mini Me Is Who I Want To Be" and the long text and said out loud, "Um, I'm not reading this until you leave"....I just knew. Once I picked my blubbering ass up off the floor I asked him if he wouldn't mind me posting it. Unreal. I don't know about being a good mother, I am a very proud one though.

Blame Jeremy and I am going to be forwarding him all of these comments, think it is so important for him to see how moving words can be. As for the tough years a head, be honest and fair. Cannot wait to meet you and I am ordering those bottles today!

Would not have been the picture I would have picked...fuck that is close, ACK! But we do look alike and seeing that I think he is cute as hell I take that as a compliment.

Nancy Deprez said...

Very, very sweet. You are both such special people; everyone can feel it in your presence. I'm really happy I walked into The Wine Country when I did and got to know both of you, even got to work with Jeremy. Miss him! Miss you too, I'll have to stop by...

John M. Kelly said...

Man, I don't feel like blubbering this morning so I'm thinking about curling - seems like it was on every time I went looking for some Olympics the last two weeks.

Anyhoo - curling: you give that stone the most skilful, careful shove you possibly can, and if all goes well it ends up in a good place. Jeremy's no stone - he seems as full of vital humanity as anyone I've ever encountered - but you, Sam, seem to have put just the right spin on your shove.

Tell Jeremey your friends here think he did a pretty cool thing.

Kimberly said...

Are you the luckiest woman on Earth or what?! What a sweet, sweet gesture. And what a handsome fella!

So this is what I missed by not taking the parenting plunge...

Ron Washam, HMW said...


Your wondrous and extraordinary mother has bared her soul on her blog more times than many people are comfortable with, but it's her back story, her honesty and candor about her past, that make us all admirers. I think we all feel like we know her. But, from your heartfelt letter, it is clear that what you and your mother possess is the kind of relationship that transcends ordinary human love. What's impressive is that you are so grateful to your mother at such a young age, and that you are so articulate and generous in your praise and gratitude.

You've touched more than just your remarkable mother with your words. Words do have great power, well-chosen and thoughtful words have even greater power. Everyone who reads this will be moved to remember the people in their lives who have sacrificed for them, loved them, given them courage and self-esteem, made them better. That's no easy feat, Jeremy. You done good.

OK, My Gorgeous Samantha, now you're even interviewing your son?!
What does a guy have to do to catch a break?

I love you!

Your HoseMaster

TWG said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TWG said...

Your son is much like you should be very proud. Hope you get to see each other soon.

Samantha Dugan said...

I'm glad you came through those doors as well. You are a dear friend and I just dig you lady. Gotta say I loved working with Jeremy too, you know how moms are always harder on their kids...damn kid gave me almost nothing to get on his ass about....busted his ass and I was truly sad as an employer to see him go.

Ughhh Curling. I swear there is some Scottish dude burning in hell laughing his ass off. "I got people to shove a rock, on ice with others brooming the way! Hahahaha and they call it a sport! Hahahha" Had to call a veto on watching that this year. The only use for it is the very sweet analogy you have here. Kinda made my heart thump there Mister.

Why yes, at times I do feel like the luckiest woman alive...feels fucking fantastic. He is a cutie pie, (about 20 pounds lighter since he started paying for his own food while away at school) and I am very proud. Can't say I kknow that much about parenthood, I just know about being Jeremy's mom and I wish everyone could feel what that's like...even just for a minute.

Ron My Love,
Now I know you were talking to Jeremy but damn...beautiful, that was simply beautiful. I hope the kid reads your words and sees how moving the properly chosen words can be...

I didn't interview him!! Just this once you may not break my balls about this. He posted this and I just copy and pasted, (with his permission of course). No questions and no prompting on my end, so not my fault. Oh but...I love you too!

I am so touched when people can see how alike we are so thank you, thank you very much. We will be clinking glasses in July...the kid's 21st and we will be on the Bourbon Trail...I'm skered.

Thomas said...

Which day in July, Sam?

That's my b'day cool if it's the same day.

One time, in an elevator, in comes a woman with a tiny baby that had just come home from the hospital. I asked the woman how old and she said five days or something--the date just so happened to be my birthday. The baby gave me my blessings.

Samantha Dugan said...

Very lucky number 13, July 13th 1989...the day my life began. Very sweet baby comment Thomas, think that furry under belly of yours is showing, I like it.

Annie Browne said...

DAMN!!! Good one! You did it again...tear droplets on my keyboard. I'm googling for a laptop splash guard after I post this comment. Anyhoo, The Dugans are just those kind of people that make the world a better place, each by sharing their own words. Keep it up, you two!

Thomas said...

Nope, Sam: four days too late. But close.

Us cancers must stick together 'cause we are so tender...

Samantha Dugan said...


That is a very sweet thing to say...the Dugans thing, not the splash guard bit, thank you darlin. He is something.


Yes, yes you are.

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