So while hashing out my, “Hard hitting” questions I thought it might be fun to spend a bit of time talking to those that suffer most. The ones that end up having to drive, (or pick up in my case) and sit through hours of yammering about wine, texture, length…poor folks. Those that are, “All up in the business” even though they never chose or asked for it…the poor people that, by the luck of the draw, are all up in the Kool Aid.
I picked someone at random, just the first person I could think of that happened to be within my web, my super connected inner circle. It was tough getting this interview…cannot tell you what vile things I had to agree to, but I am here to deliver the news people. Anything I must endure for this, I did it for you…..sigh.
How many years have you been married to a person in the wine biz?
It has been almost 5 whole years since we walked down the aisle towards a real skinny Elvis. Man, that was awesome. 30 minutes, in and out. Gotta love Vegas!!! Of course, that was AFTER an 11 year trial period.
Least favorite part about having a wine wife?
Keeping those empty bottles around that you are going to write about, and yet somehow they still are there!!! Oh, and when you close during the holidays, since I can’t think of what I want to eat for dinner.
It makes me feel better about me spending most of my free time on the range and course. Oh, and those times where I do enjoy a glass of those wines that you don’t “want” to share with me.
Oh yeah, and those multi-week trips you sometimes go on. It gives me the time to perform those upgrades we so desperately need. Michael, Kermit, you listening? I really want… err, need a new TV and speakers. I mean, I miss you and all, but it is much easier to sneak in a TV you won’t notice if you are in another continent.
How come you put your wet towel on my side of the bed…(just sayin)?
You are aware that your side of the bed is closer to the shower than my side, right? I mean, sometimes I am in a rush when I get dressed, so I just toss the towel on the bed. It is SOOOO much easier than taking those 7 steps back into the bathroom.
Have you ever sneezed while peeing?
I honestly don’t remember if I have. If so, I am sure I pressed my wiener hard in between my thumb and index finger.
Are you into wine?
No, I am more of a cocktail guy. I fear that if I get into wine, I will prefer those hard to find $200 bottles.
Do you ever tire of hearing about wine?
Do I tire about hearing about wine? Absolutely not.
How often do you read your wife’s blog and wine articles?
In all honesty, I rarely visit. Why? No reason other than that the interwebs scare me.
Is your wife really “Sans Dosage”?
Yes, since there was nothing added to make you sweet!!! That is all natural baby!!!
Single best wine your wife has ever shared with you?
What was that wine we had when we were at craft Los Angeles the 1st time? How come we don’t’ have one again?
Do you think your wife is obsessive about wine?
No, I mean just because I am a wine widower doesn’t mean that you are obsessive.
How do you feel about your wife’s blog?
Blog? Is that what this is for? Sometimes it gets a little time consuming, but hey, if you didn’t work on Saturday’s you still wouldn’t see me. It also makes you a much more confident person, especially as the writing improves, so I am all for it. Now if I could convince you to discreetly add some advertisements!!
Do you ever get jealous of the attention your wife gets?
Not really. I enjoy it actually, since I know you are coming home with me. Remember the Prospector? Yep, I puffed my chest out (in a SHE’S MINE manner)!!!!
Whose gravy is better, your mother’s or mine?
I don’t know if this is an entirely fair question. There are times when I do enjoy the flavors that I grew up with, and there are time when yours is the awsomz!!! I guess a better way to answer this is “If there is pasta with it, it’s all good!”
Airplane reading: Samantha Sans Dosage or Sarah Palin speeches?
Sans Dosage, right after I complete a couple of Sudoku puzzles. Although I am sure I could read ALL of Plain’s speeches on a flight from John Wayne to San Jose, CA.
Does your wife have any little wine secrets that you care to expose?
Wine secrets? Not really. Pastis secrets, only when this blog becomes a fee based site, with adult controls (and Jeremy may reads this!!!).
How if at all, has your wife changed since entering the wine business?
Remember when we were home bodies and didn’t go out? Yeah, didn’t think so. But there was a time where we didn’t. You are now also much more open, and are incredibly confident in the abilities that you possess.
You are aware that your farts do not, “Smell like roses” right?
Lilies then? Tulips, maybe?
Do you ever, and if yes, do you enjoy attending wine events with your wife?
I only go the Friday night Champagne events at The Wine Country. Those are a blast, since I get to sit at the kiddie table!!!
You ever get jealous of Tyler?
No. I mean why would get jealous of a 3 ½ year old absolutely cute toddler who gets to touch your boobs in public with no repercussions? O.K., yes.
How much in your opinion, (not that I will listen to you) is too much to spend on a bottle of wine?
No more than I would spend on an average round of golf (Pebble Beach, St. Andrews are exceptions).
What is the reaction when you tell people what your wife does?
“Dude, that sounds cool!!! Do you get to try all of these great wines???”
Hangover cure of choice?
Hangover? Me? I try to avoid them by getting down on my knees and depositing all of the excess food and drink into the toilet the way it came in.
If I were to tell you that you might just be the sweetest man alive and I don’t think another man on the planet could/would tolerate me would you love me forever and share a bottle of Pastis with me?
I will NOT share a bottle of Pastis with you. I may, however, slowly enjoy one glass, and let YOU finish the bottle. Know what I’m sayin’??????????
Yes folks, that’s my hubby. The much written about, Call-o and I am not sure why he has such an affection for exclamation points and question marks…I am assuming it is either an Italian thing, (not being able to talk with his hands) or his Snausage, (not a typo, that’s what I call them) fingers….pudgy and insisting that he does in fact talk with his hands. It’s that or I married a fourteen year old girl!!!!!!
Thank you Carl. Thank you for pretending that I was not annoying you when I asked you to do this. Thank you for finding something adorable in me and thank you for shinning a light on the little talked about, “Wine Widowism”