Useful Critique

So I have been quite lucky when it comes to emails, sure there have been a couple pervy ones…kind of have to expect that when you write stuff about, “Self Pleasurevation” and what not, but for the most part, lucky. I get very little by way of spam and even the press releases I am sent are few and far between. Not sure if it because I am off the radar when it comes to actual wine blogging or what, but my blog email is so light I only have to check it once a week or so. More often than not there will be one or two press releases, an advertizing request or two, (um, about that…if you are a retail store please stop asking me to advertize your store on my blog. I work at The Wine Country, a beautiful wine store and one that has all my loyalty. Not going to link your store to my site…like ever) and if I am lucky a letter from someone that likes reading.

I’ve never had to delete comments, well I got a spam or two, (damn you cigar spammers) but even when someone calls me out, calls me a snob or whatever….I leave the comment, just as I believe I should be able to say it as I see it, so too should the people that read and comment here. For the most part, I have been astoundingly lucky in my comments section. The people that visit me here, read my silly bullshit, they are all so warm, sweet and remarkably kind to me. I am constantly floored by the adoration I receive here, often brought to tears by the understanding and support of my readers and often blushing like a twelve year old girl when I am flirted with, (Ron…Sir Charles, you two make me giggle like a schoolgirl) or gushed over. When I think about the fact that I have been doing this for about two years and the number of negative comments or emails I have gotten are like, um…let me think, around four, well like I said, very lucky.

Sure it was easier to avoid the snarky or snide comments of others in the beginning, fuck…no one was reading so why the hell should I expect to hear a peep, but now that my readership has grown a bit I guess what I found in my inbox this morning was bound to happen. Such a roller coaster day today, nasty mean hate mail, amazing…appreciative, “Your voice is important” email and then a talk that would shake me so deeply, the kind that makes you question your worth…your importance and why you and your family have given years to a cause, hours upon hours of your time. The kind of talk that has the potential to change, not destroy but change, a relationship that you thought you knew but are now beginning to think you misunderstood. Like I said, freaking roller coaster.

I think that first email of the day just set me off. I confess that I deleted it before I had a chance to respond, just know myself too well…know I would have found myself splashing around in the mud with this vile person. Slinging shit and calling names and I have to say, hated that shit in high school, part of the reason I got the fudge, (that was for you Thomas) outta there in the first place. And I just refuse to get spun up into some cat fight with some woman that I don’t even know. So of course the next thing I thought of was publishing the letter…fishing through my deleted emails, posting her bile and…ahem, the name of her blog, (just sayin) but then I just thought I would be giving her exactly what she wanted, you know…aside from like pissing me off and stuff….the page hits she so desperately seeks.



I mean why come after me? Why now? Look I will be the first to admit that I am a lot of things, some good and some bad but one thing I am proud of being, I’m fair. I give everyone a voice here, (which makes me wonder why she didn’t attack in my comments…) and I value each and every opinion, if I agree or not. The only thing I can think of is she is scared shitless of the rather verbose, extremely articulate and fiercely intellectual folks that post here taking her to task in my defense, or at the very least putting her on the “Vile Bitch List” and never visiting her site. So this just got me thinking about what is in fact fair….

Is it fair to spew venom all over another person, a person that is rambling away in cyber space…kind of minding their own business in a space that you have to choose to visit?! If you loathe what they are doing there is a rather easy solution, stay the hell away. That shit reminds me of those liberals that listen to Rush Limbaugh and get themselves all frothy…um, suggestion, turn it off. I’ve never understood being pissed off for the sake of being pissed off…dude, there is way more important stuff to handle, put your piss and vinegar to work. I kind of look to The HoseMaster of Wine here, now this is a voice that does in fact go after people but it is not for evil…it’s for funny. It’s brilliantly written and the sword is deafly plunged into the chest of the deserving, (and let’s be honest…all bloggers are kinda deserving. I’m just waiting for the day that I am splayed over there) and while the first penetration of the sword might sting, there is always a falling-on-his-own over there. A balance that most of us could never pull off and the kind of balance this woman had no interest in.

So okay Lady That Reads but Hates Reading, you hurt me. I was actually shaking with rage and embarrassment this morning when I read your email…feel better? If that was what you set out to do than bravo, your work here is done. Now if what you set out to do was change me…far better than you have tried…they failed too. You did stay with me all day, I read and re-read your words over and over in my head. Questioned why someone would take the time, go out of their way to rake someone over the coals as you did with me…the only thing I could think of is you wanted some answers. So in the spirit of my latest fun thing, my interviews…I thought I would address some of your issues and give you some answers. Now I am paraphrasing here, there were a couple things that I jotted down before I deleted your scathing assault, so here ya go…



Mean Lady- So I know Tom Wark must be furious with you for making a mockery of his bloggerviews.

Me- If so he hasn’t mentioned it to me. I consider Tom a dear friend and if I was in fact pissing him off, or making a mockery of something…pretty sure he would have told me to knock it the hell off. Matter of fact I ran the idea by Tom and seeing as the first of my hard hitting interviews was Tom and he took it like a champ I think he is fine with it.

Mean Lady- You clearly drink too much and I think that you are spitting in the face of people that have a real problem with alcohol.

Me- Yup, from time to time I do imbibe a bit too much and I have no problem sharing that. Thing is…I don’t drink when I am not supposed to, I show up for work on time. Not sure that is spitting in the face of others that might have a problem but I think NOT talking about it is a larger pile of saliva. I personally feel that those that act like they never drink more than one glass a night but in fact suck back a bottle are doing a bigger disservice.



Mean Lady- I am so tired of reading your woe is me posts. If you had a rough upbringing so what? What have you done to change it? Some of us that managed through an Ivy League education are able to put our best foot forward. We have moved on and don’t bemoan the fact that growing up was tough, did you expect everyone to feel sorry for you?

Me- Dude..you are so missing the point. I never, not ever want people to feel sorry for me. In fact if that were true I might do just as you wish and hang it all up. I did not go to college, sorry that I did not have to suffer through that for you to understand me but…I feel that I have, with the help of a lot of very strong, very cool people, put my best foot forward. If you are getting something other than that from what you read here, well for that I am truly sorry….for both of us.

Mean Lady- I think your using of your supposed sexuality ergo; taking pictures of your feet and of you removing your shirt is really disgusting and reduces those of us with actual wine knowledge and intellect to nothing but tits and ass.

Me- Is Gloria Allred like your mom or something?! I think you might need another glass of wine, it might just melt the ice rod that is crammed up your ass and seems to be freezing your girlie bits, (okay this is why I did not write her directly). Okay so I have a couple issues with this comment. One is the use of, “supposed sexuality”…um, are we all not possessing sexuality…frozen bits not withstanding? I’m thinking she was implying something about the fact that I post some…rather sensual, (got that Mean Lady, sensual not sexual) somewhat suggestive stuff, and yes, yes I do. If you cannot feel the way wine can seduce you…slips beneath your skin and slithers up your neck, well you are seriously missing out. Might I suggest a Musigny enema to get your party started? I actually feel sorry for you now….sorry for the poor wine that must pass your less than willing lips, tries to penetrate your icy, “educated” soul. I’m not sure who knows more, could not care less actually, but I have a pretty good idea who feels more….





Last points…

I never see feet as sexual, if you do than good on you and I have a feeling what your husband/wife is into. Thanks for sharing…and my wine shit is inappropriate?

I think that any woman that goes after another woman the way you did, well it tells me so much about the person you are.

Just guessing here but I think you will hate my next series, “What wine looks best between my breasts?” I urge you…stop reading now.

Anyone that insists on telling you that they went to an Ivy League college is feeling like they made a colossal mistake. If you HAVE to tell us, than yeah…you probably did.

I’m sorry….I’m sorry if anything your read here offends you. That is never my intention but I have no interest in changing. I respect women, fuck I am a woman that demands it, how could I not give it? That being said, I think that protecting the fragility of the female, that dainty creature written about by crusty old dudes and protected by the religious right and truly oppressive, that is a profoundly dangerous mistake that I am not willing to make.

I say what I want

I drink when and where I want

I seduce how I wish

I embrace my power

Just wondering….

Why you fear yours?

Thanks for the input and the post….good luck to you

I actually mean that

Samantha

Wanted Sex Goddess, (I so stole that from Bridget Jones)

Gum Flapper

Wine Slinger

Woman….