Beauty And The Beast

I’ve said it a million times. I’ve written about it here, bent customer’s ears and frankly bored the shit out of the people that spend any real amount of time with me with my almost compulsive need to point it out over and over again. I site it when I make my arguments about blind tastings, about any tastings really and have seen with my very own eyes people change their mind about something they thought they knew because of it. Wine is almost never just about what is in the bottle, it’s never that simple and for me that is one of the most compelling, interesting and sexy parts about it. What you are eating, your mood, the people you’re with….each of those things can add another layer of, seasoning if you will. More complexity, more intensity more “flavoring” of what is in the glass by what is on the plate or who is around the table. Sexy as hell to me but every once in awhile that element of trying to pair a wine to a situation….well it can backfire.

I recently had a long awaited moment, a profoundly important meeting an intricate blending of complex personalities that I felt warranted an equally complex and important bottle of wine. I even picked a restaurant kind of known for its simple, (read bland but fine) food…like an old school prime rib joint, one of those places that still serves shrimp cocktails and texturally unsound side dishes. I chose it because I knew there would be nothing on the menu that would interfere or fight to steal the attention away from the wine or the conversation, a place where the people and the wine would be in the spotlight. So yeah….backfire.



You ever one of those moments in your life where you can hear and feel yourself saying and doing things that are so unlike you, so hurtful and cruel that even while the hum from saying them is still vibrating in your chest that you simply cannot believe what is happening? Like some tweaked out, demonic brain cells have taken over and everything that passes through your ears gets so twisted by the time it reaches the little bastard that has taken over your brain that is has been turned into something completely different...something that causes the demon cells to flip that switch from civil to evil? Well it has happened to me maybe three times in my life; this long awaited night was one of them.




I brought one of my absolute favorite wines, a 1993 Hubert de Montille Pommard Rugiens a wine full of grace and regality….a wine so lovely and pure, a wine that was everything that I was NOT that evening and a wine whose delicate nature was obliterated, destroyed and eventually lost beneath the bile and ugliness of the situation. I was horrified by my behavior, my momentary loss of my sanity and civility…still am actually and to this day I cannot tell you what inspired or triggered my lunacy, not sure it matters really…it happened and there is nothing I can do to change that.

I have since been forgiven for being a nutbag that evening, matter of fact it seems that I was the one most hurt and the most devastated by the way that night unfolded, the way I unfolded and I am doing my best to just chalk it up to a, “Well everyone loses it once in awhile” thing. I’m working on it but little flashes of my snarling, snapping and frankly being a wicked bitch still flash on me along with pictures of my beloved wine being basically chugged down, used for its numbing abilities….trying to act as anti venom to the fierce flick of my tongue. We might as well have been drinking Rodney Strong Cabernet for all the attention we were paying….ugh.



My wine sacrificed to a situation…
Like I have said a million times, wine is about more than what is in the bottle and even a remarkably beautiful wine, a high scoring wine, a much coveted bottle of wine cannot compete, make or save every situation. Poor little Pommard….

Least It Is Not My Unders That Are Twisted This Time....

Okay now I still might think the finger plate deal, this one…..





Might be the stupidest and most ill conceived gimmick I’ve seen, (Um, what’s gonna happen when you take a sip of that wine huh?!) associated with wine but, I was recently sent an email from one of my bosses Dale Kemner with the title line, “More stupid wine tricks”. Dale does all the accessory buying for the store so the catalogs full of useless crap she gets to flip through is staggering.

I have to admit that I am a rather practical person in general. I don’t spend a lot of money on clothes, shoes, jewelry or kitchen gadgets….even less time thinking about them and when it comes to my enjoyment of wine there are very few things I need. A glass and it doesn’t even need to be “The Proper Glass” I’m never going to be one of those people that bring their own stems to a restaurant. A wine opener, waiters opener is always preferred….those regal looking table top numbers are just too fancy for me and honestly, more often than not I end up doing it wrong and wind up standing there….wine all over and the cork shoved in the bottle, something that brings my father in-law hours of entertainment. Sometimes a decanter is nice but if I don’t have one it’s no big deal, plus those suckers can be a bitch to clean, and those too have fallen prey to the “Stupid wine trick” folks. How ya gonna clean this sucker?!






Glass charms, those temperature gauges that you attach to the bottle, the self filling wine glass, the wine bra and beer belly….all things that make me shake my head and wonder who the hell uses that crap?! Well whoever they are they have a new “Must Have” item to prove just how into wine they are….sigh.







Underpants. Wine glass underpants, well who the hell doesn’t need that?! I mean this is a very useful garment wine being known for its incontinence and all, not to mention you can impress your friends with your matching abilities, “Hey look my shirt matches my wine glass’s panties”…ugh. I’m going to have to veto and will not be purchasing any Woozies, (fantastic name by the way) as I know I would be wigged out by my lips hitting that neoprene shit each time I took a sip of my wine…that and they are profoundly stupid and junk.

An Exception To Every Rule

“You’ve got to be freaking kidding me” my response like ten years ago after tasting Havens Albarino. The geek side of me was absolutely intrigued by an Alabarino from Napa, the whole “Well that’s kinda cool” deal and the wine was good, not profound but good as is typical of my feeling about Albarino. The thing that had me making the “I’m sorry, are you high?!” face was the price, it would retail for around twenty dollars. “You are aware that you can get like the best….from Spain, for about half that right?” was my crinkled face comment to our sales rep. “Well it costs more to grow it here” our rather Eddie Haskell like sales rep quipped giving my boss the she-doesn’t-get-it face, “Well maybe they shouldn’t then” I snipped while walking away from the tasting table.

That exchange would start a long string of moments much like it, me scrunching up my face and thinking, “Just because you can does not mean you should”. I know there are winemakers that like to play around in the vineyard, grow and produce different things, I get that but I just think they should keep a couple of things in mind not the least of which is, “Are they making this wine as good or better somewhere else for less money?” if the answer is yes than maybe keeping it in the wineries tasting room is the best option. In the tasting room you have an audience that is there to taste your wines and having an Arneis or whatever is wicked cool. You can charge $20.00 and sell it all day but as a retailer, when someone asks me for the best Albarino I’m taking them to the best and I’m sorry more often than not it aint from Napa.

Now this is not me railing against domestic wines, I am not talking about Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Syrah or any of the many varieties that thrive here in California. Those wines have a place here and a market that is thirsty for them but if you are going to grow varieties that much of the market knows nothing about, either price it accordingly or make it exceptional. The “Oh that’s cool” curiosity thing is only sustainable for so long. Chenin Blanc is a great example, the best Chenin hands-down comes from the Loire and it seems like growers in California figured that out and either ripped up their Chenin and planted Chardonnay or kept the price equal to what was in the bottle….we can sell a tasty little under $15.00 Chenin from California all day long, but price it at $20.00 and off to France we go. Like I said, “Are they making this as good or better for less money?”



Just to show I am all fair and junk I also point the same knock-it-off finger at the Old World, get all pissy with them as well but the one thing they are doing right is making it cheap. Sure they are cranking out a crap load of Chardonnay and Pinot Noir (labeled as such) from the Languedoc but at least they are charging what they are worth…like $10.00. When someone comes at me with a “Ultra Premium” (and a quick word about that stupid term…it sounds like gasoline or maxi pads when you say that) bottling of Languedoc Pinot Noir….which means oaked to hell and sappy AND sporting an over $20.00 price tag I give them the same, “Are you high?!” face.




As with any rule there are exceptions. I have recently fallen in love with the wines from the Palmina Winery in Lompoc and I admit they are making wines that I would normally scrunch my face at, “Italian varieties grown in Lompoc?! What the hell?!” but here’s the thing….they are making them so freaking well and at very fair prices. The wines are so pure and fresh tasting, they haven’t been “Ultra Premiumed” (or maxi padded) and I truly believe their Dolcetto is on par with anything coming from Italy….and for about the same price, so very fair and I can easily recommend them as I really do find them, well exceptional.

Now aside from Italian grapes being grown in California the other panty twister for me has been Chardonnay grown in Italy, ugh why bother? Sure you can but….damn, most of it is insipid at best and usually kind of pricy. I mean if I want to spend $30.00 on a Chardonnay there are any number of Chablis or Macon I can choose from and for my customers I either go there or to California, the wines just offer more richness and complexity….you know the stuff that you expect to find in Chardonnay. If you just want a light white then Italy has quite a few other options but Chardonnay? Pass. That was until….the exception.




“Damn, that smells like Puligny-Montrachet” I was floored, even more stunned three days later when I retasted the open bottle and the wine seemed to be even fleshier, sexier, rounder and giving up even more for me to wrap my lips around. Never thought I would say this but this $33.00 Italian Chardonnay is one hell of a bargain.

2007 Vie di Romans Ciampagnis Vieris Chardonnay, ($32.99) is a wine that Randy opened when we were trying to find a partner for Piave, a cheese that was proving difficult to pair….a wine that knocked me on my ass, (and off my soap box might I add) and haunted me for days, still haunts me really. This is the kind of wine that scares the shit out of a white Burgundy buyer and finds me split in two when helping a customer. Do I kill a $50.00 Burgundy sale by introducing my French wine lovers to this brilliant Italian wine? Kinda have to, they have to taste it…feel it spread across their palate, taste the roasted pears, spice and toasted nuts. Let the long, sumptuous, caramel rich finish linger upon their palate and have them say, “Fuck, this is from Italy?” Not just an exception, truly exceptional.

Not Drinking The Kool Aid

Okay kids seeing as my email has been flooded with questions and comments regarding Ron Washam’s (The HoseMaster of Wine) taking a leave of absence from the wine blogosphere I figured I had better say something about it here.

Let me first thank everyone for contacting me, very sweet of you all and it seems my relationship with Mr. Washam, our fun little banter and flirtation has forever linked us in many of our shared readers hearts and minds. I am not only okay with that, I’m honored.



Ron and I have never met, our somewhat different wine blogs brought us together and in him I have found a dear friend that I love very much. The HoseMaster’s voice was a big one, lots of opinions and a fiercely sharp wit but…it was a voice. The man behind it is very sweet, very gentle and remarkably kind, and he is still very much alive so while I appreciate all the warm wishes and “are you okay?” messages I am beginning to feel like a widow over here. Ron Washam is alive and kicking people and while it is true that I, (and many others) will mourn the loss of a voice that has brought me hours of laughter I have not been handed a Dixie Cup of Kool Aid. No suicide pacts and this blog aint going nowhere!!

I had mentioned in an earlier post that I had been considering shutting Sans Dosage down so I can see why so many people contacted me when they read about The HoseMaster but as for now, right this second…my plan is to keep writing. This blog will be affected it won’t be the same without HoseMaster’s comments and I too may change a bit, I’ve lost my partner in this big bad blog world. The HoseMaster left me and I am going to have to get used to kinda standing out here on my own…damn I’m going to miss that voice and big shoulders that I got to stand on but as they say, all good things must come to an end…..and what we are left with is the stupid crap I write here.

I do want to thank everyone for the emails and all the encouragement, it is very much appreciated and I thought it was so damn sweet.

Thank you all
Not going anywhere
You’re stuck with me for now…..

Line Of The Day

Okay, I love our customers. I feel the need to make that clear before I divulge this little gem. This nugget of “No you did-int”

I try really hard to be a tolerant person. I don’t get all pissy or snide and I never make fun of people when they don’t know something about wine. I mean if they knew everything about wine they wouldn’t need us right? I am always compassionate when people come in with their papers printed out from the Internet or scribbled notes from their “Wine Friend” I’m there to help and I actually really appreciate the fact that they had the courage to come in and ask. Okay so the people I like admire and appreciate, so not this guy….





“Himalayan salt? Well it’s about time they started exporting something besides earthquake victims”

Um, fuck.

Now the dude was not wearing his sunglasses on the back of his neck, (big douchebag red flag) but he was sporting the Pat Riley, slicked back, heavily gelled….can see every tooth mark the comb left, hair…and he was grinning ear to ear. I stood there trying to figure out if he actually thought he was funny or if the half wit that rattles around in his vacuous dome like farted or something.

I’m sitting here hours later still unsure if it was the stupidity or sheer lack of compassion that stunned me more. Just another one for the “People Are Magic” file…..

Humbled By A Goddamn Piece Of Cheese

So The Wine Country’s Wine & Cheese Fest is one of our biggest tastings of the year…well seeing as Randy has taken it from an annual event to a couple-times-a-year event, I guess I should say, “They” are the biggest tastings of the year. We always have a massive turnout, people piled atop one another before giant wheels of cheese, picking and smearing while we pour them the wines that I have chosen to pair with each. Loads of fun for the customer, (aside from it being packed) and a very labor intensive day for me and my ever hard working helper Merritt. She and I are elbow deep in cheese from 10:00 am when we open, this is when we start hacking into the giant wheels…chopping, chunking and plating on heavy slaps of granite. We plate the last round at about 12:50, ten minutes before the tasting starts and then we are there pouring, chopping as needed and explaining what it is people are eating and drinking until 4:00….and then it’s time to clean up and wrap the leftovers. By 2:30 she and I are both giving each other the, “Holy crap my back is screaming” look and taking any spare seconds we have to bend over and try and stretch out the cheese chopping induced “T” of pain that runs across the top of our backs and then shoots down the center to right above our rumps. Like I said, labor intensive but that is actually the easiest part…the hardest is the pairings.

“No one really cares or can even tell about the pairings” a cynical employee’s comment when I was compiling my cheeses for the event. “Well first of all I disagree, I think they do care and as someone that has been doing this event for almost ten years now I can assure you that many, if not most people do get it” I snapped. “Secondly, I happen to care very much. This is my event, this is something I happen to be pretty good at and if it has my name on it I am going to make sure I have done everything I can to make it as flawless as possible. I love watching that little light go on when people taste a pairing that just “works” or better yet, sings…I live for that shit and it makes me happy…so shut up”

Now I will be the first to admit that there are people that come to this event to just drink and eat massive amounts of cheese, they don’t pay attention to what is going on in their mouths. They blissfully munch cheese, chat with their friends while slurping whatever is in their glass, they don’t care about the pairings and I’m okay with that…but the majority of people that turn out for this tasting are in fact interested and totally into it. I know this because they are asking me a million questions throughout the event and the gush their compliments all over me for hours and even weeks afterwards. I’ve even seen some of those munching slurping folks make the, “Damn that’s good” face with a few of the pairings….that’s when I know I’ve done good as it were.



The question I am hit with the most often during these tastings is, “How do you know?” and the cheeky answer I respond with is, “That’s what they pay me for” which is in fact true. My job is to know and understand the subtleties and the primary flavors of the cheeses and wines I order….the skill part comes in when you are putting the two things together. It’s pretty easy to take a beautiful wine and put it with a great cheese and have it taste fine, but you see….you have just reduced “beautiful” and “great” to fine, not really all that successful in my book. When you can take two things, put them together and make them even better….well that is the shit that I love and what I strive to do with these tastings.

So I’m not sure if I have mentioned it or not but I have one peeve about this business…okay that’s a giant lie, I have many but one of my biggest undie tweakings comes from those that spout off about the shit they think they know or barf up old, no longer relevant information or praise. This drives me batshit…please spare me the crusty adoration for wineries that were once the shit but have long since been surpassed in quality. Sure Jadot, Jobard and Joguet were once the best, (that you could get at the time anyway) but when was the last time you tasted them and what else have you tasted…lately?! Not knocking those wines per see but as someone that has her mouth around some of the other wines that are being imported, admittedly thanks to the afore mentioned opening the door for them, there are some other wines that are doing it cleaner, fresher, cheaper and winning the hearts of those of us that don’t have import blinders strapped to our heads. I have no problem giving a nod to those that came before, appreciating them for paving the way but….please, just get caught up and stop tossing about information that may no longer hold weight in the here and now.



Yeah, so my very own peeve came up and buried its seething fangs into my ass this week. Fucking Piave, a cheese I thought I knew, a cheese I had tasted a billion times, a cheese I actually ordered as an “easy” pairing cheese for Saturday’s event….argh. So Friday afternoon I was putting the final list together for Saturday’s Cheese & Wine Fest, just feeling all smug and ready when I thought, “Oh I had better pick a wine for that Piave” and opened a piece as a refresher…mother effer! Um, this was so not the cheese I remembered, where was the kick and intensity? Where had the rich tang that I remembered gone? I sat there with this faintly fruity, crumbly, pretty mild cheese glaring at me and pointing its mild little finger at me…”Ha ha, you do it too” it mocked. Bastard, Piave is a bastard.

Somewhat vexed I let the cheese warm up to room temperature, thought warming it up might bring it to life…bring out all that flavor I thought I remembered, sigh. While there was bit of a bump in flavor from the leaving it out for hours the cheese was still lacking that little spank I was relying on…dammit. I finally went to Randy, “I am having a problem with this cheese” I alerted him. He took a good sized chunk and said, “This should be easy. This is a great cheese” and charged out to the front of the store to begin making his recommendations. He pointed out wines he thought might work, many of which were already being showcased. “Well okay let’s start trying some things” he announced and this was one of those moments when I could in fact rest on my memory. Watching Randy light up, bounce around the store, yank bottles and pull corks…break off pieces of cheese, taste them with the wine and then venture back out onto the floor looking for something that might fill the gaps that the last wine left. These are the memories of my wine youth, the inspiration for my willingness to tell my coworker to shut up, the reason I am never happy with, “good enough”…Randy. He is the reason and my inspiration, he will never settle, never let a wine rest on its history…neither will I.




We tasted about fifteen wines that afternoon, chunked off pieces of cheese, sipped and were out on the floor once again. There were moments when we shrugged our shoulders, “It’s okay” but Randy’s determined face and wish to make this event as thrilling as possible, sent him back out and popping more corks…my admiration of his determination and years of training by him had me shaking my head and having the courage to say, “Nope, that’s not it”. After about an hour we were started going back to some of the wines we had first thought might work, mostly sweeter white wines which are often the best choice for any cheese course. So here’s the thing…yet another thing about our business that drives me to crunched up crunders….with each wine we tasted adding a layer of seasoning to our palate our perception or astuteness to each little flavor was changed, affected and not as clear as it had been fifteen wines earlier. Had me festering about how useful tasting panels and reviews written after tasting multiple wines are to the person that is popping that cork and consuming the whole bottle….without the pre-seasoning. Humbling, this whole ordeal over one goddamn piece of mild cheese was so humbling and a giant reminder that we don’t know it all, we don’t have all the answers and no matter what we think we know….there is always time for a refresher. Easy pairing my ass….

Chablis Celebration

Not sure if anyone has noticed but I have been stuck in one of my “What should I write about?” spirals. The interviews have been helping a great deal, they are fun for me and to be honest…it means very little writing on my part. I just ask my silly questions and wait for the cool ass folks to answer them. I really do enjoy doing them but it has been pointed out to me that while they are or can be funny, some people miss hearing my voice. I think part of it has been lack of sleep. I’ve been living a life of little catnaps lately; wake up at four of five in the morning wide awake and my mind going a mile a minute. I get out of bed because I cannot tolerate the whole tossing and turning thing, just pisses me off…and I spend my morning with MSNBC, coffee and my laptop. Go to work feeling wide awake and ready but find by around four I am starting to wind down, feel sleepy. Get home to make and eat dinner and then I find myself nodding out on the couch around nine, not sleepy enough to go to bed but not able to keep my eyes open. Little naps keep me awake until one of two in the morning, stumble into bed and sleep until….four or five, think it’s getting to me.

I will confess that I have let this blog consume me a bit, when I am not checking my counter thing I am responding or playing around on one of the other blogs I spend time on. Work is the one place I am able to just leave the blog alone…I’m still thinking about it but in a less than consuming way and I do allow myself to check stats or respond while I am eating my lunch but for the most part I’ve learned, (and this took some time) to just let my obsession with this place be something I indulge in when I get home. Once home I am in full on stat checking and wracking my brain for topics that people might be interested in, that might pertain to wine and I can write about mode.

So I had been struggling a bit already and then I saw the announcement of the Wine Blog Awards…sigh. Now last year I was painfully addicted to watching this thing unfold over at Fermentation. My dear friend Benito of Benito’s Wine Reviews was kind enough to nominate me last year for one of the writing categories, I was so flattered and so aching to be taken seriously in this whole wine blogging business that I let myself get swept away a bit. Now I knew I would never win but was hoping to make it to the finals…well I did not of course and this year, a year later I am not only aware of why I did not….I’m comfortable knowing that I should not. These awards are for blogs that are much more wine related than Samantha Sans Dosage, sure I write about wine but there are just as many posts here that have nothing or very little to do with wine and you know what, I’m comfortable with that. I no longer ache to be included and rather like the fact that my blog has become a place where people come to read about something other than wine reviews…they seem to come to visit me. In that I have found the true award/reward. No little badge to post on my sidebar, no my award is found in the comments section of my posts where people not only respond to my stories they share some of their own, love that.




I was talking to my husband the other day, telling him that while I love having this place, adore the people that visit me here…that this blog may have run its course. I was feeling guilty about the idea of shutting down but feeling even more guilty that I may not have anything compelling enough to give my loyal readers. Totally stuck and leaning towards shutting down for a couple weeks just to think it over, that’s when my husband sent me a link to a blog ranking sight and one of my posts was very high on the list…not even sure what that means by the way but it was a very sweet gesture. I was still pretty sure it was time for a break at the very least when I woke up to find a couple new followers and a couple new comments, one from a brand new reader…now what to do?

I gave myself a few more days to think it over, just to make sure it wasn’t PMS or me just feeling lonely or some other crazy chick behavior…posted my latest interview and told myself to just spend a day or two away to clear my head. So I was working yesterday afternoon and a fairly regular customer of ours came up to me with her cart, “Can you help me find this wine?” she asked and I took her to find it. “While I have you here can you help me find some everyday drinking wines? I love your French wines and you always find me the tastiest daily drinkers” feeling all flattered I pulled the end of her cart around my French section depositing my latest discoveries into her cart. Clink-clink-clink the bottles landing upon each other as I “Oh you have to try this” and moved on to the next stack. “Oh and I need a good bottle of Chablis” she told me with a serious but strangely lit up face. “I am celebrating and I want to do it with a great bottle of Chablis” she continued. Now I always assume when people tell you that they are celebrating that they want you to ask them why, I mean why else share that right? So I did, I asked what she was celebrating….so did not expect to hear what I did.




“I have breast Cancer. I had it ten years ago so this is my second occurrence and they are going to have to do a mastectomy” I stood there, heart thumping at my ribcage, eyes filling up and with no words. “Now I know it might sound weird that I want to celebrate but everyone had been telling me that I would have to give up my wine” still no words from me. “I just talked to my surgeon and he told me that even though the surgery is invasive I will still be allowed to drink my wines, I’m just so grateful that I can still have that” I didn’t know I had been holding my breath but when she said that I felt and heard a loud exhale escape my body. She gave me a very wise look and I helped her pick a Chablis worthy of her celebration, the celebration of true courage and finding a silver lining. When I was ringing her up she held the bottle in her hand and said, “I will drink this tonight and think of you” I stood there feeling like I had just found my fairy godmother. “I should buy one too and drink it thinking of you” I responded. Spent the rest of the afternoon with busy work, getting stuff ready for this weekend’s big Cheese & Wine Fest, preparing to go to a trade tasting and putting up wines that had arrived during my days off…the day got away from me but that woman’s words, the spirit with which they were delivered did not. I did not buy that same Chablis but pulled one that had been resting in my little wine fridge from the same producer, Herve Azo 1er Cru Vau de Vey. Last night an older woman drank a young Chablis to celebrate her good fortune in the face of enormous loss and this slightly younger one drank and older Chablis to celebrate courage and wisdom. Cannot think of anything more unifying…



Cheers to you dear woman. Thank you for sharing…your story and courageous attitude, and the glass of Chablis. Reminding me how profoundly powerful that combination can be.

Guess I'll keep plugging away, sharing with my readers and hoping I can inspire them to see that wine is about so much more than what's in the bottle....