So while hashing out my, “Hard hitting” questions I thought it might be fun to spend a bit of time talking to those that suffer most. The ones that end up having to drive, (or pick up in my case) and sit through hours of yammering about wine, texture, length…poor folks. Those that are, “All up in the business” even though they never chose or asked for it…the poor people that, by the luck of the draw, are all up in the Kool Aid.
I picked someone at random, just the first person I could think of that happened to be within my web, my super connected inner circle. It was tough getting this interview…cannot tell you what vile things I had to agree to, but I am here to deliver the news people. Anything I must endure for this, I did it for you…..sigh.
How many years have you been married to a person in the wine biz?
Least favorite part about having a wine wife?
Favorite part?
Oh yeah, and those multi-week trips you sometimes go on. It gives me the time to perform those upgrades we so desperately need. Michael, Kermit, you listening? I really want… err, need a new TV and speakers. I mean, I miss you and all, but it is much easier to sneak in a TV you won’t notice if you are in another continent.
How come you put your wet towel on my side of the bed…(just sayin)?
Have you ever sneezed while peeing?
I honestly don’t remember if I have. If so, I am sure I pressed my wiener hard in between my thumb and index finger.
Are you into wine?
No, I am more of a cocktail guy. I fear that if I get into wine, I will prefer those hard to find $200 bottles.
Do you ever tire of hearing about wine?
Do I tire about hearing about wine? Absolutely not.
How often do you read your wife’s blog and wine articles?
In all honesty, I rarely visit. Why? No reason other than that the interwebs scare me.
Is your wife really “Sans Dosage”?
Yes, since there was nothing added to make you sweet!!! That is all natural baby!!!
Single best wine your wife has ever shared with you?
What was that wine we had when we were at craft Los Angeles the 1st time? How come we don’t’ have one again?
Do you think your wife is obsessive about wine?
No, I mean just because I am a wine widower doesn’t mean that you are obsessive.
How do you feel about your wife’s blog?
Blog? Is that what this is for? Sometimes it gets a little time consuming, but hey, if you didn’t work on Saturday’s you still wouldn’t see me. It also makes you a much more confident person, especially as the writing improves, so I am all for it. Now if I could convince you to discreetly add some advertisements!!
Do you ever get jealous of the attention your wife gets?
Not really. I enjoy it actually, since I know you are coming home with me. Remember the Prospector? Yep, I puffed my chest out (in a SHE’S MINE manner)!!!!
Whose gravy is better, your mother’s or mine?
I don’t know if this is an entirely fair question. There are times when I do enjoy the flavors that I grew up with, and there are time when yours is the awsomz!!! I guess a better way to answer this is “If there is pasta with it, it’s all good!”
Airplane reading: Samantha Sans Dosage or Sarah Palin speeches?
Sans Dosage, right after I complete a couple of Sudoku puzzles. Although I am sure I could read ALL of Plain’s speeches on a flight from John Wayne to San Jose, CA.
Does your wife have any little wine secrets that you care to expose?
Wine secrets? Not really. Pastis secrets, only when this blog becomes a fee based site, with adult controls (and Jeremy may reads this!!!).
How if at all, has your wife changed since entering the wine business?
Remember when we were home bodies and didn’t go out? Yeah, didn’t think so. But there was a time where we didn’t. You are now also much more open, and are incredibly confident in the abilities that you possess.
You are aware that your farts do not, “Smell like roses” right?
Lilies then? Tulips, maybe?
Do you ever, and if yes, do you enjoy attending wine events with your wife?
I only go the Friday night Champagne events at The Wine Country. Those are a blast, since I get to sit at the kiddie table!!!
You ever get jealous of Tyler?
No. I mean why would get jealous of a 3 ½ year old absolutely cute toddler who gets to touch your boobs in public with no repercussions? O.K., yes.
How much in your opinion, (not that I will listen to you) is too much to spend on a bottle of wine?
No more than I would spend on an average round of golf (Pebble Beach, St. Andrews are exceptions).
What is the reaction when you tell people what your wife does?
“Dude, that sounds cool!!! Do you get to try all of these great wines???”
Hangover cure of choice?
Hangover? Me? I try to avoid them by getting down on my knees and depositing all of the excess food and drink into the toilet the way it came in.
If I were to tell you that you might just be the sweetest man alive and I don’t think another man on the planet could/would tolerate me would you love me forever and share a bottle of Pastis with me?
I will NOT share a bottle of Pastis with you. I may, however, slowly enjoy one glass, and let YOU finish the bottle. Know what I’m sayin’??????????
Yes folks, that’s my hubby. The much written about, Call-o and I am not sure why he has such an affection for exclamation points and question marks…I am assuming it is either an Italian thing, (not being able to talk with his hands) or his Snausage, (not a typo, that’s what I call them) fingers….pudgy and insisting that he does in fact talk with his hands. It’s that or I married a fourteen year old girl!!!!!!
Thank you Carl. Thank you for pretending that I was not annoying you when I asked you to do this. Thank you for finding something adorable in me and thank you for shinning a light on the little talked about, “Wine Widowism”
The most important thing I learned was the Carl is a golfer! I don't know why I didn't know that before. Tell him we should play some time. I play pretty much every week.
ReplyDeleteIn all the Blogs mom writes this is by far the best one, not because it's in depth or anything like that, but people really get to see what it's like in good ol' apt 408. If I wasn't already homesick, this would do it for me
ReplyDeleteI'm so used to seeing the nickname Call-O that it took a few questions before I figured out this is your husband.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, the question about the wet towel is where I got really confused for a minute. :)
Woo,
ReplyDeleteDirect quote, "Can he get me into Coto?". He is a total golf freak, he is out there every week as well. Works for me, should I everr hear, "How much did you spend on wine this week?" I can say, "How much did you spend on golf this week?" You want I should set up a play date?
Da Baby,
How ya doing kid? Wow, that's the first time I have used that here and it was in fact, "my kid"...glad this made you think of home. We are still here where you left us and not much has changed, well aside from the fact that my life is just a little less bright when I don't get my chocolate bear hugs.
Benito,
I thought about leaving it more of a secret until the end but figured people would catch on either just by the name Carl or my, "The vile things I had to agree to" comment.
Geesh, I didn't know Carl was a golfer either - now I know how to steer the dinner conversation away from wine and put Call-o in the spot light for a bit!
ReplyDeleteThanks again for the great Cuban hook-up and for sharing some of that precious Christmas wine - it was LOADS of fun and yumminess and I can't wait to do it again!
Oh - and tell Ron not to be too jealous that I got to watch you lick Cuban Mojo Juice off your greasy chicken coated fingers... ;-)
Tell Call-o GREAT interview!
Jess
This was a great Valentine for Carl and Jeremy. I'm liking the continuation of the Valentine's theme!
ReplyDeleteYeah - married to it. My girlfriend/lover/mate has talked about being a "crush widow" for 23 years now.
Before that she was a "crush groupie." Harvest 1988 we were living in Davis, my job was in Napa but my responsibilities were in Geyserville - every day - long drive. One of my co-workers who lived in Napa invited me to stay in their spare bedroom for harvest. A couple days a week my mate would drive over after work, stay the night, then drive back to Davis before dawn to get a full day in at the lab. Years later the couple I was staying with copped to thinking I had a groupie sneaking in and out. I was LMAO.
Jess,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for dinner lady, that was too kind of you! It was a pleasure seeing you, drinking Grand Cru Burgundy with you and you even made me blush with the erotica comments!! Cannot wait to do it again either. Now if you were really trying to make Ron jealous you might have mentioned how I spilled icy cold white wine down my deeply plunging neckline...just sayin'.
John,
Okay confession, did not even occur to me that this was after the Valentines post! I am so not that clever or romantic. I had two sets of questions out and Carl finished his first, but thanks for thinking I was sly enough, or sweet enough to think of that! Adorable story about your wife and I fucking love that you still call her your lover...so sweet.
My Gorgeous Samantha,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Jessica, it's a little silly to try and make the HoseMaster jealous after a post about Samantha's husband, aka The Luckiest Guy on the Planet. I'm supposed to be jealous of YOU? OK, if she'd licked the Mojo Juice off of your fingers, maybe.
And, once again, Samantha Love, you've skipped me as your interview subject. I'm going to let it go seeing as it is Valentine's Day on Sunday. But who next? Tyler? Actually, he'd be more interesting than me.
It seems almost all of us in the wine biz have long-suffering mates. They have to have the patience of Job, the wisdom of Solomon and, in my case, the vision of Marty Feldman (an obscure Biblical character).
The two of you appear to have a lovely, supportive marriage. But I was sure you were married to Alice Feiring.
I love you!
Your HoseMaster
Ron My Love,
ReplyDeleteI am sure Carl would argue that, "also known as"...I am no cake walk I assure you. Why just look at the way I bat my eyes and swing my hips at you and Charlie...
Are you still on my ass about doing an interview with you?! C'mon baby, no means no...well, sometimes. In the case of, "No I shouldn't have another" and "No, not yet...." it has a whole nuther meaning...means keep asking and you might be able to convince me. But in this case...no means no.
But I adore you.
Dude - I'll have him as my guest at Coto anytime. Just need to synch schedules. Totally happy to.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather be a wine widower than a golf widower. At least I'd know how to read the points.
ReplyDeleteEven though I've been in the biz for 26 years, my wife says she never felt that I had abandoned her--she only wished that I would, sometimes.
Hi Sam and Callo and Jeremy--
ReplyDeleteThanks for inviting me/us into Apt 408. It's a wonderful thing to be married to a soul mate--for that is what this is about--one of those rare and beautiful meetings of heart and mind.
Sam, I cannot eff'in' believe that this entry was not timed for Valentine's Day. Wow. Somehow, the inner mojo must have known. Perfect.
One of the reasons I would rather be a golfer than a winemaker is that in golf I am always scoring over 100. I don't know a winemaker anywhere who can say that.
Keep up the brilliant work. You are going to need a literary agent soon.
Oh, did I mention that anyone who tolerates your love of Pastis must be a good person--even to the extent of one glass.
ReplyDeleteHe has my sympathy.
Oh but Charlie my adorable lover man, the things that Patis does to your girl here...well maybe you're right, feel very sorry for him.
ReplyDeleteGreat interview with Carl - thank you for sharing! He's awesome.
ReplyDelete