Four months ago today that I put out my last cigarette. Most days it seems like it was forever ago but just last week I got to my car and had a little panic attack, "Did I grab a pack for today?". So they are still on my mind but they aren't ruining my breath, my clothes, my lungs or my heart. Aren't running my life. Hardly out of the woods but one month closer to victory and I'm now at the point where it is days rather than hours between thoughts of them. In the beginning I'm not sure I believed that would ever happen. Still fighting, just struggling and straining a wee bit less with each day that passes. I gave up this truly disgusting and (sadly) much loved addiction as a gift to one of the greatest loves of my life, I knew giving up cigarettes would ease his heart....knowing that I gave him that, if even for one day, well it was and is worth it and I would go through it all over again. Turns out my gift to him will in fact be a gift for me, a longer life, sweeter smelling skin, a smoother sounding voice and the beaming pride that comes with knowing I can do this....
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14 comments:
You absolutely CAN do it. So proud of your progress so far. Do you notice any wines tasting better, or different?
Webb,
Thanks lady. I've noticed a change in my sense of smell, seems more intense than when I was smoking but I can't say I've noticed any difference in my palate...and that is a very good thing. I admit to being worried that not smoking would change my palate but at least for now I am in the clear there. Thanks for the support, means a lot. xoxoxo
Sam,
If your sense of smell is heightened, then your palate is too; the former is the foundation of the latter.
In any case, just yesterday you entered my thoughts. I wondered how your smoke-quitting was going. Now I know the answer. Great!
I've always felt lucky that smoking anything never appealed to me, even with all the peer pressure in high school.
Thomas,
I should have said that I found my palate less noticeably affected, (or is it effected? Fuck me I can never get that right)because as you point out, the two are absolutely linked. I find that my snoot is a touch more sensitive, which is both good and bad in my line of work. Need to try and remember that not everyone is going to have quite as particular a sniffer when I am deciding what to bring into the shop. So far I'm doing okay, least I think!
The fact that I entered your thoughts yesterday simply melted my heart Thomas. You can have no idea how nice it is to know that people are thinking of and rooting for me. You made me smile and make one of those girlie, "Awwwww!" sound thingies. I wish I'd never been wooed by those fucking horrible sticks but they were my partner for 25 years, guess it only makes sense that I feel like I'm in mourning a little. Thanks for brightening my day kid.
It takes more than just one decision to quit like that; takes daily doses of conviction and courage. Congrats and keep up the good work!
I still dream about smoking. I'll be in a dream lighting a cigarette, smelling that first waft of smoke and enjoying it . And then some kind of alarm goes off and I thin
K ,"wait, I quit!" And then I wake up, glad I really wasn't smoking.
You're doing it, baby. I'm proud of you.
Unknown/Steve,
Thanks for understanding that. It really is a miserable task this quitting business but each little victory, daily, weekly, monthly...hearing from folks like you that are in my camp and encouraging me, makes it that much easier and way worth it.
Mr. Johnson,
Si nice to see you here handsome. I think of you often when I'm struggling, think of the snarky bits of advice you've offered over on facebook. I keep those things in mind when the wanting seems unbearable, hold onto your example, I know we can do this. Hugs to you darlin'
Yeah! I quit a couple years ago (though mine was a more on-off again kind of fling), I don't miss the smell at all!
Rogue Wino,
Well congratulations to you. Even on again off again has to be tough. I have a rep whose husband quit a couple years ago and now has just one a week...I so wish I could do that. I know however that I can't, one would not stay one for me so zero and cold turkey it had to be. Ugh. Thanks for rooting for me!
My Gorgeous Samantha,
I am speechless with pride and love. I never doubted you could quit smoking, I only hoped that you would. Thank you.
I love you!
Ron My Love,
It really is I that should be thanking you. You helped make me strong enough to do this...there are not words big enough to express how much I owe you, will forever owe you. Just know that you cannot walk one more day on this earth and say you haven't been greatly loved. You have you know, and you always will be. I love you.
You absolutely can do this!
This past New Years Day marked seven years of me being smoke-free! I can hardly believe it! Quitting smoking is one of my proudest accomplishments :)
Keep going.
Oh and where's the Lakers Celtics trash talk?
Sarah,
Congratulations to you lovely lady! Wow, that too is inspirational. We will clink glasses of Cava in a couple months to celebrate.....fuck I can't wait.
TWG,
Thank you I shall, I hope. As for trash talk, well I hate shit talking on my own beloved team so I have been biting my tongue. This season blows, like a lot. Ugh...
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