Sunday, February 10, 2013

Just In Case

There were any question that the Riedel people are fucking with us....





I give you Riedel's Mamba decanter. For the ridiculously low price of $525.00 you too can own this artistically stunning, visually captivating, mind bending, warped glass, tubed, wine holder thingie. Gets my snake going for sure....


 It's freaking rad. How can you not bask in the sheer genius and bow down before this symbol of utter and complete self-aggrandizing  foolishness?
 
Owning this decanter will prove to everyone what a wine lover you are. How serious you take your evening tipple. How much you respect wine and all that it stands for. How you will go to any lengths to ensure that each sip of wine that passes your lips has been opened to its full potential



Yup, that and that you are a wad of the first order, a fool with his money, probably have extra room in the crotch of your pants, have people you pay to wash your dishes for you, (Um, seriously, how does one wash this thing?!) and you might want to make an appointment with a psychotherapist who can help you work out your, "I didn't get enough toys" issues. 

Or I'm totally wrong, as usual, this is wicked cool and useful and will look way badass sitting next to this



 on your wine table.

For me, right on the Veto list.  


 

24 comments:

Unknown said...

Call me short-sighted, but associating 'snakes' and 'wine' does nothing to enhance my wine experience. I'm guessing there is a decanter-specific cleaning tool that you can only get from Riedel for a twice-as-high-as-it-should-be price?

Samantha Dugan said...

Unknown,
I'm holding out for the Trans Am Eagle decanter...cuzz that right there is totally hot.

John M. Kelly said...

I might be enticed to drink an authentic Vietnamese snake wine once in my life. But every wine I ever choose to decant? Um... no.

For that kind of money I'm more likely to buy something I will get more use and enjoyment out of. Maybe a Le Creuset 9qt doufeu.

gabe said...

ok, i get that it is overpriced and useless, but that thing is totally freaking awesome! It did inspire me to wonder the same thing as you, which is to ask, "how the heck do you wash that thing?"

Samantha Dugan said...

John,
I have a bottle of some sort of snake whiskey should you ever get the fever for that flavor. We could buy Le Creuset, I could fly up and we could cook dinner for the price of that hunk of stoopid glass. Lame.

Samantha Dugan said...

Gabe Kid,
If you have to ask, well then you can't afford the hired help that is in charge of cleaning that thing. 1st world problem for sure.

gabe said...

LOL

Rogue Wino said...

What the farfitty farf narffle? Um I guess at least it could be seen as a sign the economy is coming back..

Samantha Dugan said...

Rogue Wino,
It's okay girlie, you can use "fuck" and "What the fuck?" here. Kind of the only charm I got left, my love of the foul side of our rustic and challenging language.

Veronica said...

We have one of these in our store. I think ours is actually called the Black Mamba. It is the most stunning, captivating dust collector, ever. I doubt we'll ever sell it.

Thomas said...

Looks like they might urologists designing items at Riedel?

Thomas said...

Might have, might have urologists

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samatha,

I'm pretty sure it's actually a gerbil cage. Only an asshole would put wine in it, much less buy it.

I love you!

Thomas said...

Ron,

Asshole--urology: close.

Samantha Dugan said...

Veronica,
Well now I know where to send the droves of people that are surely going to come in looking for this. Thanks!

Ron My Love,
Thomas just beat me to it, by like 3 seconds even! Drat. I'm too sleepy to think of anything clever-er than that even so, "Yeah, what Thomas said" and I love you too!

Thomas,
Good one!

Daniel said...

hmmm...Chihuly reject, pretentious art, or handy container for your snake oil?

does it make $15 wine taste as good as when I pour out a small bit and give the bottle a vigorous shake with my thumb covering the opening? I don't think so!

I was going to buy one until I decided that this month we might prefer to make the car payment or have something useful like FOOD.

Samantha Dugan said...

Daniel,
Well then you sir are decidedly uncool. Thanks for posting!

Winey The Elder said...

Are you sure it's for wine? Maybe Reidel is branching out and this is a prototype for Washington and Colorado "customers".

WtE

Samantha Dugan said...

Winey,
Hell darlin, I never even considered that possibility. I think you are a wise, wise man....

Valerie said...

Every time I see that "dragon-looking wine decanter thing" my mind also defaults to "not interested in even learning how to wash that thing." Same with clothing - I don't have time or desire for high maintenance belongings in my life. Ask the ex-husband. No time. 2nd thought on the dragon thingy - does it come with a $275 straw or am I supposed to just get in one of my people-trick yoga poses and find a way to tilt this thing into my wide open trap? Fuck I love you!

Samantha Dugan said...

Valerie,
Jeremy brought up the same thing when he saw it this morning, "Know what a bitch it is going to be to pour the last glass with that stupid thing?!"...he makes his momma proud. I fucking love you too lady and your last piece was, (ahem long over due) inspiring to me, so thank you for that.

gabe said...

I think I'm gonna buy one of those, then brag about how wine doesn't really taste good unless you drink it out of a long curvy dick, and people who have't tried it can't possibly understand. That won't be annoying

Samantha Dugan said...

Gabe,
Nope, not at all. Oh and by the way, I hate you the second you do that.

Sara Louise said...

It's dumb and I hate it.
And I'm with John, I'd rather spend my money on Le Creuset.