Wednesday, July 18, 2012

You Asked...

Thomas: Is Ron for real?
Me: If you only knew how many times I’ve asked myself that same question. Don’t have the answer me amigo, the only thing I can say is, fuck I hope so.

Webb: How did you and your husband come to be?
Me: I met Call-o much like I met you, over the internet, but let me explain. Just about 19 years ago my sister, (then just a tot) and my brother, (still him, no job, no life and raging against…life I guess) stumbled upon a local chat board called Liberty. A small group of people, no graphics whatsoever, a blinking cursor and orange words on a black-ish brown background. You could chat live with folks, when the damn thing wasn’t down, which was like all the time. I didn’t pay it much mind but my siblings were captivated by the new medium so I was aware of it and would log on once in a while, late nights and those of us that lurk in them, we are the people the internet was created for.

I was very involved with someone at the time, someone that had me so bent around his…um, finger, that I wasn’t looking for anything or anyone, except of course in those wee morning hours when I was alone and he was, wherever he was. You get what I’m saying? That…finger, I wasn’t the only resident. So I would log onto this board and seemed to click with a group of people, way, way smarter than I and I found myself laughing more than I had in years…the exchange rapid fire and heart thumping in a way I had never experienced. Hooked. Not on anyone, but the voices that blipped on my screen and kept me company when everyone else was asleep, gone or ignoring me. Somehow I managed to rise to the top of the geek pile and found myself clicked into the um, don’t know what you would call them…kings of the compu-tards? One of those was Carl.

I hated him at first. Thought he was a total freak. Hated the way he stared at me and spent all his time, (in between being one of the quickest and funniest cats on the board) talking about his drug abuse and dropping out of college to tweak. Not my type, in the least. I was living in that nightmare through my brother, wasn’t looking to make friends with another one of them. We met, as a group several times, each time me whispering to someone, “Please, don’t make me sit next to him” before slipping into a booth at the local Denny’s at 2:00 AM or what have you and having one of them fail me and there I sat, this ex-tweaker sipping his strawberry shake, (another fail…ewe dude.) and munching onion rings while burning a hole in the side of my face with that blasted staring! Then two things happened. I knew he was wicked smart but don’t think I quite had a grasp of just how. Gathered at some sports bar, the group playing video trivia and here was Carl, getting every damn answer correct, and way before anyone else. I was intrigued, still dating another but…he was changing my mind. Then one late night at a group gathering, mass amounts of Southern Comfort, (still haven’t forgiven it) and I found myself next to Carl, tucked into a recliner, (nothing if not classy) and out of the blue, he kissed me. Done. Unwrapped myself from that, finger, and here we are.

Gabe: Tell us about one fantastic wine related moment.
Me: Oh man. Just one? And seeing as you are a new reader I feel like I should pick something a little tame but….gonna have to go with an old favorite.

In the midst of a tumultuous time in my life. Everything beyond confusing, loss and sadness weighing on me, pressing me and my dizzy frame against any glass that would have me. Prey to a pair of big brown eyes and long dark lashes…an industrious man wise enough to see the wobbling me that no one else could, coiling up and ready to strike. Not maniacal, eager and ready to swallow my sorrow, drown it in a big pool of accumulated want. My desperation and aching to forget, if only for a moment wafting off my skin, the aroma thick and oily in the air…powerful enough to rid a room full of dark wood, bunched swaths of blood red and vibrant yellow draped fabrics. There was nothing there, just he and I, playful taunts being lobbed but the reality of that one moment filling my lungs and flipping my, “Just do it” switch.

Dripping candle wax, the sting of lit matches burning my nose, my nervous but so willing hands flicking warm bath water droplets from the base of my neck as I wrapped myself in a robe and walked into that room…ready to forget and hopefully someday, be forgotten. Another kiss that would catapult me into love, again, if only for a moment, driving my fingers to pull at the thick terrycloth ties that kept him from me. Hands on my hips, a long stroke of a thumb from my stiffened jaw to my nerve induced shaking tummy. My body bare and there in the wide open, those dark eyes taking me in, drinking me in, my legs feeling as if they might just give until….I saw his gaze. So captivated, lost in his own domination but as I stood there I began to see…it was me, my bare flesh and naked soul that was driving him and making his mouth water. In one of the weakest hours of my life I found me, my power and now it was me devouring his longing. Hand plunged into an ice bucket, nails peeling foil, breathing becoming audible as I pulled at the icy cage, wrapped my fingers around the cork and freed us both with a pop. Icy cold Jean Milan Blanc de Blanc poured from a flute onto my collarbone, the sweetest river of froth running down my bare chest, an open mouth and tear filled pair of dark eyes tasting us both.
Sorry Gabe…

ADoC: Any one place, holding a glass of wine. Where and why?

Me: Dammit woman! There are like four thousand answers to that question depending on when you ask. Okay, gonna go with right this very second…and trying to ignore dark eyes, thick bunches of yellow and red fabrics, Jean Milan. I would say Beaune on Saturday, (market day) the smell of roasted chickens and greens filling my nose and making me light headed. The cobblestone streets and high-heeled, far more glamorous than I ladies that traverse them. I want a glass of mouth-filling Corton-Charlemage from Domaine de Montille to keep me company as I watch the families and shopkeepers shuffle by, gathering goods to share with their families. A long stretch of my short legs at some café, my head grabbing at every last nuance, my heart knowing this is as good as it gets.

Sara: Favorite Housewives franchise and favorite wife?

Me: Guilty pleasure! Tie my ass up, I love this shit. Hands-down, Jersey. Without question or hesitation. Those chicks are nuts and not embarrassed to be so. Something about that is infinitely endearing to me. So my favorite wife, Caroline Manzo. Badass, sick of drama and the one soul I would crave if I were in that nightmare of a show/life. She also reminds me of my mother in-law, so I understand her. Plus those tots?! Damn…thank you mother nature. 

Anonymous: Do you ever think that some of us are sick of hearing about you and your life? That we come to a wine blog to read about wine?

Me: Think? Moi? Nope. Sorry, you’ve come to the wrong place….might I suggest checking into one of those life things that people are always talking about? If you are here, reading my silly bullshit looking for scores or tasting notes…why are you still here? I felt kinda dumb when I read your question but the more I thought about it, who is jerkwad here, you or me? Hate to break it to you kid, think it’s you. But hey, the Wine Blog Awards are coming up and I’m sure there are troves of wickedly compelling, wine based, blogs for you to drool over. Aren’t you excited?! I know I am….

Winey the Elder: Okay: you are driving across America and you can have three people join you for the journey. Strictly a platonic, engaging drive. Who's in and why?

Return trip home, you are in an RV and now you can have three people to eat/drink with and, well the rig has a bed, so you can recreate at will. Who's in and why?

Me: This one has been on my mind since you posed it and for that I send you and hug and a “damn you!”. Like ADoC’s I’m going to have run with this one in the moment. Too many options, historical figures and whatnot. Need to be real, be me and think of what I would actually want. So first leg, that platonic and engaging trip, I would say Michael Jackson (might be because I have Off the Wall blaring on my ipod right now) Dorothy Parker, (personal hero so why not?) and my mother. Some weird part of me would love to watch her be both tweaked and captivated by them. She never really liked either all that much so that trip would be like revenge and  seeing as loves me some arguments it’s a win.

Trip home. Oh dude, this was way harder. Considering the trip I had just come from, I think I would have to stretch my inner demons. Seeing as nothing inspires and drives those skin stretching monsters like him I have to have Dave Matthews. Can’t think of anyone that can make me crave absolute debauchery like those growling but articulate and stomach churning words of his…I am picturing an acoustic strumming of sort. Damn, maybe answering after a few gin and tonics was not the best idea. …
So anyway. A bed, an RV, Dave Matthews and, gotta go with my Amy. The closest friend I’ve ever had and yet she doesn’t get the whole Dave thing, this trip might cure her of that. Might also make us some half-baked, sloppy kissing, glasses licking, (Amy, you remember that?!) bunch of heathens but who cares? It’s my RV and if you don’t like it, tough shit. So here’s the rub…gonna leave one spot open…who’s in?

Wayne: What's the one job/profession that could steal you away from the wine biz forever?

Me: Simple, novelist…cuzz that’s easy right?

Anonymous: What is your inner totem animal?

Me: This here was a source of contention here at my pad. I quite simply said “Cat” which was met with all kinds of strife and arguments. Turns out, according to the gentlemen that are in my life like 24/7…I am either a panther, (husband) or and otter, (son). So your guess is as good as mine.   

Anonymous: Best wine you have ever tasted?

Me: You’re new, so I forgive you.

Carolyn: Okay, my question. Preface: Two of my four children were born after my 40th birthday, one out of wedlock. I adore them all and wouldn't change anything. My question: What about another baby? (Please don't bwahaha, I'm serious.)

Me: I would never make fun of such a serious question. My son is the single most significant thing in my life and there are times when I wonder if I would be here if it weren’t for him, his timing and the role he has played in making me a much stronger woman. I am forever awed by and grateful to him but maybe like one of yours, he was not planned or expected. Even as a little girl I wasn’t built with a mommy suit, therefore it was nothing I ever thought about or craved. Even now, I would absolutely take that ride with Jeremy all over again but other than that, not something I want. In fact, part of the reason Carl and I waited 11 years to get married was he thought he might want another child, I knew I didn’t. I refused to take that dream from him but was also unyielding in the fact that I knew I wasn’t willing to be the one to give it to him. So no dear lady, no more kids for me. I have my wees next door to fill any tiny people need, my sister and her husband are working on making me an aunt, (come on swimmers) and I can wait until instead of mommy I hear, grandma. Maybe it’s because I started so young, I mean I was more a mother to my sister at times than our mother was, so I had a baby on my hip from the time I was 11 years old….shit, maybe I’m just selfish but I am kinda feeling that me time. 

Anonymous: Do you ever regret being so open and exposing so much about your personal life? I feel like I have known you forever and we’ve never met and I can’t believe I’m alone in that. Don’t you ever wish you had a thicker barrier between you and us?

Me: Never and for the reason you just stated.  

Thank you all for not only playing but for being curious. That was so much fun for me and made my Sunshine Award all the more….rewarding. You folks, you move and inspire me.   Thank you.


Sara Louise said...

RHONJ and Caroline are my answers to my own ridiculous question! We understand each other you and I xo

Wayne Young said...

I declare a Deathmatch for the last spot on the RV! I'm dangerous when motivated!

Brenda said...

Liberty - Without that, we would never have met.

Thanks for sharing your life with us. I love reading about you. It brings back great memories for me.

Samantha Dugan said...

I knew it! Girlie, we so have to get together one of these days. I'm gonna start working on a trip to France for next year and I hope, (please oh please) that you will make time for me.

Man, you flatter me. Don't think anyone is gonna fight you for it kid but that made my morning.

Can you believe how long ago that was?! Oh and thanks for wanting to read, was made very aware that not everyone gives a rat's ass so you too made my morning. Thank you.

Romes said...

Sorry, Wayne is going to have to lose the RV death match. I mean really, if DM is on the RV, it has to be a foursome - DM and 3 chicks! And I should win since I love Dave as much as you - and I love sloppy kissing too! ;-)

Romes said...

And one more thing... I want in on France and meeting Sara! Even though she has no idea who I am since as you know I have a tendency towards silent stalking. I do read her every word and laugh out loud at work at inopportune times just like I do with you.

Miss you!

Samantha Dugan said...

Ohhhh what about you, me and Dave in an RV traveling to Le Petit Village?! Oh hells yeah, now we're talking. And yes, you are a creepy stalker...

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

Just when I thought I knew every little detail of you intimately, a post like this pops up. Real Housewives of New Jersey? Yikes! Is that porn?

And it's just going to be me and you in that RV. Fuck Dave Matthews! Well, I mean, the hell with Dave Matthews! Samantha and Ron! We'll put the Recreational in Vehicle, Baby.

I never did get to pose a question either. I'm sorry. Is it too late? No. OK. Here's my question:

How is it that you own my heart? And other parts?

I love you!

John M. Kelly said...

Thanks for answering all my questions in real life.

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,
It is a little like porn for the, "Oh My Gawd I can't believe these people are for real!!" set, of which I am not so proudly a member. And yes, it is too late, post is done so the answer to that question is one you will have to answer yourself...or ask me in person. I love you too.

You know it, and always will. Hugs to you.

marilyn said...

Thank you for sharing. As a relatively new reader, I don't get people who criticize. Reading isn't required. Just go somewhere else. I love all the stories.

Anne said...

Loved your response to the favorite wine question.
Very witty, you are.

Samantha Dugan said...

Well thanks lady. I am okay with the mean folks, (and come on, if you're going to ask shit like that you are really just being mean) I figure I put myself out here...kind of have to expect a whole bunch of people are going to dislike what it is you do. Just part of the package it seems and having so many wonderful and caring people in my life, because of what I do here...totally worth it. I do have to laugh to myself though, why the fuck are you reading of you don't like me or what I write on my blog? Just strikes me as funny for some reason...if people consider bloggers lonely sacks, what do we call the guy that reads shit he doesn't like and whines about it?! Man o man...

Sadly, that's one I get weekly. Drives me crazy, no real wine lover has a single favorite wine or best wine. Best for what? I couldn't even pick my favorite estate let alone best wine...silly newbie.

gabe said...

yikes...that made me blush...maybe i should have just asked your favorite wine...

actually, i appreciate the great response. it sounds like you really enjoy the wine experience, and not just the taste. also, the writing was fantastic (if a little nc-17). keep up the great writing, and i'll keep reading.



Samantha Dugan said...

Well I did apologize. Wine has never been just flavors to me, always a feeling, a story or an emotion. If you do in fact stick around, you will find that rarely are there just wine stories...not how I do it, see it or feel it. Thanks for playing along and I had fun retelling that story. Hey, if I had used the word nipple would that have gotten me an "R" rating? Just curious...

gabe said...

i don't know how you would tone-down dripping candle wax, terricloth ties, and a bottle of champagne. in fact, i don't think you should. i do know that if i were making jean milan wines, i would pay you to write our tasting notes

Samantha Dugan said...

Couldn't, so I didn't. I did make it much shorter, just another one of those "sage" words of advice given me by someone and after reading it just now, (um, I don't read before posting, just a thing) it feels rushed to me but I'm thrilled you liked it and wondering if my boss, who does in fact pay me to write tasting notes, will let me put THAT in the newsletter or on a shelf talker? Guessing not...

Samantha Dugan said...

OH, and you made me laugh out loud and I so needed that, so thanks!

ADoC said...

I knew it was an impossible question, akin to picking a favorite wine, but market day in Beaune was an awesome answer.


Carolyn Blakeslee said...

Regarding wees -- I wasn't "ready" for ANY of them. It's just that you've been so appreciating the wees in your life that prompted me to ask. You still have time if (a) you change your mind or (b) life happens. Thanks for answering so thoughtfully. This post/project was fun!

Joe said...

When are you going to expand this to a press-conference format? Not give yourself time to think about the questions; just have to fire off on the quick?

It could be sponsored by Boo Pecoche and Taco Bell...

Winey the Elder said...

Hike your skirt a little more and show the world to me.

--Watch for me on the turnpike. I'll have my thump out, oysters in hand, hoping to hitch onto your--

Transfixed as always by your beautiful honesty.

Samantha Dugan said...

Just breaking your bawls a lil'. Like I'm getting close to doing if I don't hear about this new boyfriend soon. Gonna try and hook up with you when I'm in Vegas this weekend.

Ready and wanting are two very different things. Nope, what I have in my life right now is the perfect amount of kiddo.

I was thinking about it. Kind of a press conference traveling road show kind of deal where HoseMaster and I mock blogging and the wine blog awards but now, (sighing) he done drunk the kool aid and got himself nominated and junk. He's probably already taking me off his blogroll and looking for a new blog wife. Sad, sad times...but maybe STEVE! is free. Or did he get one too this year?

You bring the oysters and I've got the Chablis...

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

I did not go and get myself nominated for a wine blog award. Somebody nominated me and some crazed judges made it official. I don't even like Kool-Aid, unless there are nipples involved. You shouldn't slander your beloved blog husband. I pout.

But I hope I win.

I love you!

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,
You did too get yourself nominated, with your talent Love. You deserve it far more than anyone else on the list that's for damn sure. Who is on the list anyway? Hell, I hope you win too, I even voted (and promptly took a shower) this year. Went, looked for your name, clicked the little dealie and hit submit. Getting me involved in that ridiculousness is saying something. I want you to win Sweet Man....just wondering if I ought to start taking bets on who my successor will be once you're rich, famous and loaded up with Blogger Bling. I am rooting for you Ron Washam, I believe in your talent and I am, as ever, very proud of you and my role as your Internet Wife. Get 'em Honey!!!

Marcia Macomber said...

Man, when I saw the request for questions my mind just went completely blank. Sure seemed like you'd already laid it all out. (But, of course, I was wrong!)

This was lovely though. Lots of unexpected information.

And it finally occurred to me (*before* reading Ron's and Gabe's comments) the problem with the wine blog award thingies: There's no category for Wine Porn writing. See, if there was you'd be the hands-down (careful with the hands thing) winner! (Ron's version is Film Noir Wine blogging -- amongst so many other styles...)

Samantha Dugan said...

Oh God, do I wish they would have that Wine Erotica type category! Don't get me wrong, I still wouldn't play or accept a nomination but shit, can you just imagine the blog posts that would pop up! That right there, that would be magic.