Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My Remote Ate My Homework

So I am married to a computer Super Genius. A computer Super Genius that is never quite satisfied and thus my my home/television viewing/internet is always in some state of change or evolution, or as I like to say, "Just a little jacked up". I'm not a nagging or bickering wife, just don't really have the temperament or arrogance to assume my way, or the way I would like, is any better or more valid than his. That being said this evolving "super network" of ours has caused me a few, okay more than a few, huffy moments of, "Why can't this just work?"

So the latest installment of, "Dude. C'mon" was an upgrade, (I would be using quotes again but I know they drive Ron batshit) that freaked out our universal remote in such a way that after a couple of clicks on the up or down button it would leap through about fifteen channels at lightning speed. Super fun I assure you. I dealt with it by basically keeping my viewing to a handful of channels and spending far too much time on Facebook, my husband swearing that the next box delivered via UPS would fix it. Okay....

I watched yesterday afternoon as he buzzed around and plugged in another bunch of cords into another shiny box with another red light. He was sure this new gadget was going to solve our remote control issue. Well, he was right....sort of.

Bellied up to my beloved laptop last evening to try and salvage a very strange post I had written on Sunday. Kind of a stream of conscientiousness piece that read like I was suffering severe head trauma. Settled into my spot on the couch, poured myself a tall glass of wine, opened the Word document and began scanning the rather unruly piece. I wasn't really feeling it so I grabbed the "now fixed" remote in the hopes of finding something even more mindless than that goddamn piece. I'm flipping up and down, marveling in my husband's brilliance, that was until I glanced back at my open Word document and saw that it was jumping up and down with each click of the button. Fantastic. Hit the guide button only to have a Windows Media menu pop up on my laptop...

"Call-o!!" huffing moment for sure.
My husband lumbered from the bedroom, (poor fucker thought he was getting into bed early last night...ahem, No) could not stop laughing at the fact that my laptop had a matching infrared scanner dealie with our super improved remote control. Yeah, I thought it was a total hoot as well.....grrrrr. Long story short, after his big giggle and my fierce glare he picked up my laptop, flipped it over and for the second time in a month, it went to black screen....dead. Totally dead. 
Super Genius was unable to revive.....
My laptop passed away last evening and I have spent the better part of the morning waiting for installs, upgrades, (how a new laptop needs upgrades I have no idea....ask the genius that killed the last one. Okay, yeah I am still a little wounded) and trying to navigate a completely new workstation. 

So there you have it, the oldest excuse in the book but I swear it's the truth. My remote ate my homework.


luvgrapes said...

He he he....just forwarded your captured adventure to my husband to read. This hits so close to our home I couldn't help it. Fortunately he's out of town on business right now. I do have to say that my computer has never had a conversation with the remote...that's just too funny.

John M. Kelly said...

Yeah the remote messing up your laptop is too funny! Now I have to go home and disable the IR ports on all our laptops - things are fracking useless anyway. I have NEVER needed IR comm on my laptops - it's just tech-bloat creating a liability.

But I can't see how the confused IR could have fried your OS. Maybe Call-o can explain. He and I have more in common than I thought.

Except that he seems nice, where I am not. I get a secret chuckle watching my family's frustration trying to figure out how to work my latest upgrade. I take pride in their initial anger and derision. And I'm ultimately satisfied when I hear a grudging "OK, you're right - it IS better than before."

Ahh - it's the little things.

Samantha Dugan said...

Well I hope he gets a chuckle as big as Call-o did out of it. Ugh! Just seems like if you are like, sleeping with the programer your shit should work. Hmmmm, maybe that says something about the kind of lover I am....yikes!

He was laughing his ass off because he said the same thing, IR is damn near useless on a laptop, which is why it never occurred to him that such a thing would happen. My laptop has been being kind of a douche (had been I should say....not nice to speak ill of the departed but it's true) since May when my battery just took a crap. Last month it wen black screen on me, at deadline of course, as I had to articles open at the same time....mother f'er! Wouldn't power up and of course, Super Genius was away on business. My neighbor took out the battery, popped it back in and the damn thing started again. He is pretty sure there was a problem was a faulty AC/DC power converter. The remote didn't actually kill it, it scared the shit out of it and when Carl flipped the bastard over whatever connection there had been was lost. No more power. Kaput. Crushing but it was on its last legs anyway. Finally convinced the overlord to get me a cheaper system, that way I will feel less shitty when I burn through them every two years!

Oh and trust me, watch me trying to figure the new shit out, that makes his day.....the more I grumble, curse and growl the funnier he thinks it is. Special place in hell for you people....

Samantha Dugan said...

Holy crap! That's a lot of typos. This new laptop is clearly going to take some getting used to!