Thursday, August 18, 2011

All Good Things Must Come To An End



Jesus, what a utterly depressing saying that is but it has been running through my head quite a lot the past two weeks. That and, "This too shall pass" which basically means I've been walking around in a bubble of "endings" that has me feeling a little unsteady and anxious as hell. Hooray. 

Trying to get my bearings, settle and hunker down so I've not had the time or the energy to write anything...or anything I think you all would want to read. Got no fewer than five posts started but at night, when my day is over, the dishes washed, leftovers placed in the fridge, my little sliver of time that is just for me, well I've been spending it sitting beside the little river that trickles through my apartment complex. The afternoon's heat gone, the damp air shifting in and out of my lungs, the moon brilliant and watching over me. A glass of wine, the sound of water as is pushes itself along, the tickle of tiny feet as the crickets scamper across my bare toes.....stolen minutes of quiet, distraction and chatter free. Just me, my thoughts and all the strength and love I can muster, "This too shall pass" a reminder that tomorrow is another day, a new chance to breathe in and out, select wines for people looking for their own little slice of peace....this tranquil spot waiting for me at the end of the day, the sounds, smells, the life going on around me breathing new life into mine. 



I haven't given up blogging, it's all good things that must come to an end, drivel it appears can go on for-ever. Aren't you the lucky ones?! Just been supremely busy and slightly overwhelmed. Hope to be back on sane and solid ground soon....I miss you all. 

Should you need me, you know where I'll be and all you need to do is step outside beneath the moon and we will be there....together. 
 

20 comments:

Valerie said...

Oh, honey - we aren't going anywhere. Honor yourself and what you need right now. xoxo

ADoC said...

It's nice you have a place to escape to.

Thinking of you!

Ron Washam said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

I cannot count the number of times I have looked at the moon and absolutely known you were looking at that same moon at that same moment.

Moonlight becomes you, My Love.

I love you!

Samantha Dugan said...

Val,
Trying to get myself to post something....anything at this point! Been slipping out past the closed doors of sleeping neighbors, glass of wine in hand, honoring the great loves of my life out there under that big, beautiful moon. Much needed. Thanks for hanging in there and not going anywhere and junk!

Another Day of Crazy,
It is and even though I know people in the complex must think me a total freak, it really is peaceful. Thinking of you and that growing farm of yours as well.

Ron My Love,
Power to move the tides that moon of ours. Guess it is also capable of whispering in your ear, "She's right here"....glad it's up there looking out for me. I love you too!

Ed H. said...

Here's a quote for you from the I Ching - “Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos. ... Such greatness endures for all time"

webb said...

You've had a lot of adjustments this summer and everyone needs some down time and time for oneself. Take your time. When you are ready to write a bit, we'll be ready to read a bit.

Miss you, tho.

Rob-bear said...

Well, this is interesting. Bear trundles in, and you're heading out.
Timing is not my strong suit.

Samantha Dugan said...

Ed,
Welcome amigo. Look at you, no longer a lurker...all it took was me putting you at the "bad kids" table...well, that and splashing grower Champagne all over ya. Thanks for the quote darlin' and I appreciate your reading.

webb,
Unbelievable amount of change in two weeks time and I just needed to take it all in. Thanks, as always, for the support.

Rob-bear,
Nah kid, I'm not going anywhere. Just trying to explain why there have been fewer and more....emotional, posts as of late. Don't want people thinking I'm hangin' up just yet. Oh and welcome to my little bit of crazy, thanks for reading and taking the time to let me know you did.

Sara Louise said...

I think it's difficult to blog in the summer, we're all so buys having fun and living. Plus the heat just sucks the life right out of us.
We'll be waiting to see you whenever x

Thomas said...

Blogging has a way of sapping, as most bloggers try too hard to say something too often.

Breaks should be made mandatory by the bloggers' control room, which we all know is located on the moon.

chris said...

You're not alone, Sam. I too, feel change.

The vibrant gold light of summer has slipped away and harvest approaches. Another crop almost complete. It's fall a time of rest, renewal and reflection. In winter we prune for the new vintage. In spring there's rebirth. Life goes in cycles yet it's never the same. Change is part of the process.

I predict there are many fine vintages in your future.

Samantha Dugan said...

Sara,
I also find that fewer people read blogs in the summer which makes the lag a little easier on me...or less guilty at least. Been having a ball reading about your summer over at your place though!

Thomas,
I confess that I am given into the pressure to post, not sure why other than fearing people will get used to me not being around...and like it. Silly really but it does plague me from time to time....

chris,
Very cool analogy. Work has been one of the biggest changes and seeing as that place owns so much of my time, thought process and energy it is truly wearing me out right now. Still love it as much as ever but some of the changes have made my job, as manager, four times as hard and, at times, my job as a department head damn near impossible. So when I get home I am completely fried....also not helping in the blogging/writing department. I have every confidence things will settle nicely but in the mean time, fucking beat....

Marcia Macomber said...

No rush, dear! Take your time. Enjoy the little river. (Sounds nice with a glass.)

That moon has been pretty spectacular for the last several days! Enjoy it while it lasts, too!

It's always better to wait to publish until you have something compelling to say -- not just publish because 'your readers' are waiting. We'll be here whenever!

Do Bianchi said...

we'll be here when you're ready, lady...

and I've seen that, too: people click less during summer...

hope you're summer is going swell!

abbraccione j

Winey the Elder said...

Jesus....that's how you start your blog. I'll come back to that.

Your writing is so personal, so vibrantly emotional how could you not be wiped out and in need of a 'reset' from time to time. Time for meditation wines, perhaps.

So back to Jesus....in the swirling mid-sixties, when every day seemed to be a battle front for peace and justice, at one point I remember feeling utterly exhausted by it all. I was sharing this with one of my favorite high school teachers and she sagely said: "take a lesson from Jesus. When the work of the day just overwhelmed him, he went off to the desert (probably setting beside a creek with a glass of wine) to reconnect with his center and, when renewed, took back up the fight."

Take it for what it's worth. All good things will come back again.

WtE

Samantha Dugan said...

Marcia,
Man, that moon was breathtaking. Well that and soothing in a way that seemed to make everything better, or the pressure smaller in the sheer vastness and brilliance of its glow. I'm not really a spiritual person but I've got a powerful appreciation and mild obsession with the moon. Weirdo that I am.

Jeremy,
Happens every summer, the fewer visitors and less posting. One would think I would fell comfortable with this by now but, clearly not the case. The hard part for me is that I truly miss it, the writing, the comments, the little family of hearts that meet me here. So the not blogging actually adds to my funk....

Winey the Elder,
What a remarkably touching comment. You just melted me a bit and gave me my very first genuine smile in days. You know when you're really exhausted and someone, someone that can sense it, rubs your shoulders or takes your weary head in their hands? Well that was what your comment felt like. Thank you. Thank you so much and, welcome. I do so hope you return...

TWG said...

Should we fear a McDuff type hiatus?

TWG said...

Should we fear a McDuff type hiatus?

Samantha Dugan said...

TWG,
Nah, I don't see a six month silence coming. Sheeh, I hope not anyway. Might just explode if that happens. On top of the explanation I gave in this post I also had deadline for the store newsletter and a rather nasty computer issue that I'm not sure is resolved as of yet. Kinda freaked to write and have the damn thing crash on me or somethin'.

Very sweet of you to check in though. Means a lot to know that you are waiting for my return. Big hugs to you.

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