Friday, August 12, 2011

Oh Great

Where is The HoseMaster of Wine when we need him?

The latest from the, "This is why people think we're Wankers" file... 

Going to now go strap on my aluminum underpants and stuff my socks full of cow dung so I can go to work and properly evaluate wine....sigh.
Goddamn it.


John M. Kelly said...

I mean, really. Some people are inclined - maybe genetically predisposed - to believe anything (hence, biodynamics, for example). Next time I see Ralph I am going to give him some grief over this.

Right-Hand Daddy said...

I don't see what all the fuss is about. I have known for years that there is a correct hand and an incorrect hand to use to swirl one's wine glass. I have proved this theory time and time again.

I know that a right-handed swirl will produce an accurate aroma that shows the wine for what it is. I guess a right-handed swirl must be like rubbing a cat the right way--although I had no idea of this phenomenon until I read the article whose link you provided.

And I know from sad experience that a left-handed swirl is likely to produce a yowl from the wine that is just like an angry cat. The wine jumps out of the glass and gets all over the table and my clothes. But, until now, I had no idea why that was happening. All this time, I had been rubbing the wine the wrong way.

Of course, I know, Sam, that there are wines that rub me the wrong way no matter what hand I use and no matter in which direction I swirl the glass.

Thanks for the enlightenment.

Samantha Dugan said...

You know what kills me about this, I mean other than the horse shit part? It's the desire or continued seeking for things to make something as simple, and beautiful as wine...difficult. What is up with that?

Now what about when a left handed person visits Australia?

Ron Washam said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

The ol' HoseMaster of Wine is no longer with us, Praise the Lord. I hear he's living with Alice Feiring on a commune in Irouleguy.

I actually kind of like this guy's theory. Had to be a guy that thought it up. Switching hands and directions is a trick every young boy learns brings different stimuli...

And I love the idea of someone telling me they didn't like a wine I loved and I can respond, "Well, you must have swirled it the wrong way, asshole."

Ah, wine bloggers...I miss 'em.

TWG said...

Somehow that website doesn't remind me of you.

Samantha Dugan said...

Um, you know me quite well it seems. Peter Cargasacchi posted something that was in response to the idea, didn't read that but found the link and just shook my head. Had never been on the site before, didn't stay and am not too likely going back.

Ron My Love,
The funny thing is, a couple of years ago I had a Frenchman try to spoon feed me the same garbage. He was peddling some shitty Red Burgundies and when I expressed my disinterest he pulled this ace out of his hole. Maybe he was calling me the asshole but either way I spun it, those wines simply sucked. Then at my Thursday tasting this week some jackhole came in and had to show me the new wine trick he learned on Twitter, Twitter being the home of stupid wine tricks and all. Ugh. Next morning I find Peter's posting on's oozing. Fantastic.

Thomas said...

Holy crap!

All these years, I've been holding the glass firm and turning my body counterclockwise.

Live and learn...

webb said...

OMG! I am pushing against the molecule's nap! I thought it was because I am right handed. Now I have to worry about all the nap I have ruffled all these years. I can't take the pressure! I just can't!

Samantha Dugan said...

And now you know, you're a jackass.

That's the goal as it seems. Wine is NOT something to be enjoyed you know, it is to be feared and make people feel like they are idiots when they aren't "doing it right"....silly. Grrrrr

Marcia Macomber said...

OMG That long (linked) post was devoted entirely to the 'science' (air quotes) of swirling direction?! I did need a good chuckle this morning.

Indeed Right-Hand Daddy and Ron make fine points, ahem, about this amazing phenomenon.

Joe said...

If you suck wine in through your ass with a straw, it gets you way drunker.

Or, "the only wine trick anyone ever needs to know".

You're welcome.

Samantha Dugan said...

Great. Now I shall be walking around here all day with THAT image in my head. Sigh.....

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