“The BBD”, this is what I used to tell people when they asked why my boyfriend and I broke up, (had this one boyfriend that constantly broke my heart…probably the only one that had been able to do so before now) he was always looking for the Bigger, Better, Deal…always searching for someone prettier, smarter or in some way, better than I was. He would always come back and my young, fragile, but full of true love heart, would always take him back only to be crushed once again when someone better came along. Vicious cycle that I tired of after like 3 breakups, I mean how long can one endure that, “You are not quite good enough” bullshit? I was like 20, he was someone that I felt lucky to have, but in the end…being with him, taking him back and knowing that he was basically settling, well let’s just say it taught me what I never wanted, and what I would never again settle for.
A few years ago I met a woman that was quite pretty, very well educated, well read, into really interesting music, food, wine and had a wonderful husband that adored her, pretty much had what one would think was, “the whole package” the thing was, she spent so much of her time complaining, coveting, and basically feeling like she was getting screwed because she didn’t have a bigger house, a husband that made more money, didn’t get to travel as much as she wanted and couldn’t afford to eat out as often as she would like to. One night while hanging out with her I listened as she turned all that ugly on a dear friend of hers, talked about how if she had the money that she had, or was living in a house like she had…the whole scene turned my stomach and let me know that those, “BBD” people are not only disloyal, they’re kind of sad.
To spend so much time searching, wanting, or being in anguish over the things you can’t have, worrying about what someone else has that you don’t, well seems like some of that energy might be better spent on appreciating the things that you do….guess what happens when things go unappreciated, unfed, unloved and undervalued…well, they go, and in my opinion, they should.
I recently found myself in the middle of two, “BBD” moments, kind of pissed me off as I thought I could sniff that shit from a mile away…I was wrong. One was my fault really, the red flags were up all over the place, I ignored them, ignored my gut and found myself doubled over, the wind knocked out of me when I was kicked in said gut. When I came up for air days later I saw that this one, this one “BBD” thing was not dishonest…it was still a “BBD” but, I just chose to make it something it wasn’t, could never be, was never meant to be….so I guess it’s more like 3 “BBD” things, one of them mine.
The other was while sitting with one of my reps the other day. We had been tasting through a bunch of little French country wines, nothing profound, nothing earth shattering, so like I said, a bunch of French country wines. He then reaches into his wine bag and pulls out this thick bottle, really heavy glass and deep punt, and when he turned the label to me I was struck by how flashy it was. “Um, is that for Bennett to taste?” I asked assuming that it was a domestic wine. “No it’s French” he replied…red flag. He pulled the cork and poured me a taste, black, almost black in the glass, red flag. The aromatics left me even more confused, candied fruit, marshmallow and mint, red flag. I had the wine in my mouth for less than 2 seconds and I spat it out grabbing the bottle to see just what the hell this was….convinced, I was convinced he was screwing with me, this HAD to be like from Australia or something, Cotes du Rhone, it was a Cotes du Rhone…looking for, or to be a Bigger Better Deal…so sad.
Sowhile trying to take notes on this abomination of a Cotes du Rhone I thought about both that woman and my ex, how in their pursuit of The Bigger Better Deal they ended up losing the things they had. The ex came to me years later and tried to convince me he had changed, saw that what we had was the Best, (um, not if you were to ask Moi) and blah, blah. The woman ended up losing the friend she shit talked about, me, lots of other friends and a lifestyle that she adored…for what? Sad.
I have to wonder what is going to happen to all these French wines masquerading as New World wines. What’s going to happen when those of us that long for wines of distinction, wines that taste like where they come from give up, tire of being undervalued and unappreciated…what’s going to happen when we, go? Being with all those Beaune Imports winemakers really made me look at what we do still have, made me appreciate and value winemakers and importers that are willing to be who and what they are and make and import wines that reflect that….I feel lucky to have them and to me, there is no Bigger Better Deal than that.