Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Of This I Am Sure




“She’s making chicken soup, what should I bring?” a very new to wine me asking our then store manager what wine to bring to dinner that might pair well and impress my boyfriend’s parents. I had already begun my wine obsession, spent countless hours along with most of my paycheck, tasting, taking notes, geeking out and frankly falling in love with the wines of Burgundy, Alsace, Rhone and the Loire but food and wine pairings were still something of a mystery for me. I was a tad uneasy when she placed the squatty bottle in my hand; this was the same woman that told me to pair Amarone with a salmon in cream sauce…to this day one of the most gawd awful pairings I have ever had the displeasure to put in my mouth and really? Champagne and chicken soup?

This is when I confess to you all that even before The Wine Country there was one wine that I adored. One wine I would purchase from Luckys and Save On (both no longer) when it was on sale, for those, “special” nights when “getting it on” was on the menu. It might come as no surprise to you but it was a sparkling wine…that I called Champagne of course and I would happily plunk down my $3.99 for the plonk when the mood called for it. No matter that it made me burp, (oh so sexy right?) and gave me a raging headache the next day, I thought that was just the price of being fancy, what all wine lovers dealt with which was why I was a bit reluctant to hop on board the wine loving train in the first place. Blame it on the Ballatore Spumante…ewe.

So I forked over my $80.00, a far cry from the $3.99 I was used to spending on bubbles and tossed the bottle in the cold box until it was time for me to punch out and head to dinner. I was nervous as hell when I walked into the boyfriend’s parent’s house, nervous just being there and concerned that the wine I brought was going to be a burp and headache inducing joke. I stood back silently as my boyfriend’s father removed the foil and popped the cork (and there was a real one in there unlike the plastic bullshit ones in my Ballatore) and made small talk as he filled up our glasses. The smell of fatty chicken broth and simmering carrots thick in the air as I wrapped my fingers around the glass, the chatter, my nervous tummy, all thumping around me in that “bigger than I had ever seen in person” kitchen. I brought the glass to my lips, was planning on skipping the whole sniffing business, just needed a shot of something to kill the butterflies that were banging themselves against the walls of my stomach but, but something happened.



That night some thirteen years ago, standing in that kitchen, boyfriend’s parents sizing me up, chicken carcass being bounced around in a deep pot of bubbling broth, tummy fluttering and head spinning I got lost in a glass of wine like I had never been lost before….it devoured me, stole me and my attention away from every single other thing in the room, I fell in love. It was a bottle of 1989 Billecart-Salmon Cuvee Nicolas Francois that obliterated the memory of the gassy, sweet, headache giving Ballatore. Took my breath away, had me pulled so deep in the glass that I felt like I was bathing in it, paired brilliantly with the steaming bowls of hot broth flecked with bits of chicken and tender macaroni and began the love affair that would consume me. My time, my want, my money….all of it free that I had went to feeding and fueling that love, my passion and understanding of them inspiring Randy to make me the head buyer for our Champagne department…the first department aside from cheese that was mine and mine alone.

“Welcome to our final Champagne tasting of 2010” my voice Friday night trying to spread out across the full house of people in attendance. As those of you that have been reading this blog for some time know, leading classes in the only part of my job that I dislike. It’s not the classes themselves but my very real fear of speaking before a group that makes the hours before I have to lead one down-right unbearable for me. This past Friday the store was too busy for me to wind myself up too much, didn’t have time to fester and stew and before I knew it I was standing before the group welcoming them…eagerly. Comfortably talking about small growers, why I always serve potato chips at my Champagne classes, (the salty crunchy thing is a lovely partner for Champagne and I rather like the contrast of snack food with something as refined and decadent as Champagne) and discussing the stylistic differences before each flight was poured. Never occurred to me to even feel nervous, one of the great loves of my life doing what true love does….making me feel comfortable and loveable in my own skin.



I buzzed around the room pouring wine, answering questions, reprimanding my rowdy little bunch of very loyal regulars….the ones I always seat together and often away from the rest of the group pretending to punish them but secretly (or not so much) stopping by their table just to visit with people I truly adore and whose support also goes a long way in making these events easier on me….and was so deeply into the wines, so confident in their quality that even the heckler that seemed hell bent on getting under my skin could not break through my little love bubble.

“This will go perfectly with the Champagnes right?” the guy holding up a bar of milk chocolate in my face. He had been to a couple of my Champagne classes before and was very aware that I always make it a point to tell people that sweets and Champagne are a terrible pairing, at least for the Champagne. He was wearing this rather smug smirk on his face and as I launched into my “why it doesn’t work” diatribe he started cutting me off and laughing at his own jokes….awesome. I knew the guy was going to be doing the same sort of “Smug Funny Man” act all night, sadly I was correct.



I just poured, tasted and ignored his glib little jibes. Let the rest of the room feed me and the wines inspire the comments that flew from my lips. Okay I took a shot back in his direction after he made a snide remark following my description of Camille Saves as a librarian in fishnets (the way I always do, explaining that while they are intellectual wines they are also sexy as hell) “So this is a pilot in high heels?” he quipped as I filled his glass, “Dude, it’s whatever you need it to be…whatever turns you on” I responded, (okay I might have added, “You cheese dick” in my head) before giving him my own little smirk and moving on to the people that were there to enjoy Champagne…and to learn something.

The wines were truly stunning, the most brilliant to me and backed up by the sales at the end of the night:

2004 Marcel Moineaux Grand Cru Blanc de Blancs ($60.99) Amazingly complex and layered, deep roasted citrus, white flowers and herbs with just a bit of savory yeastiness. Powerful, remarkably powerful but the texture and weight is as all great Blanc de Blancs should be…delicate and refined.



2005 Jose Dhondt Grand Cru Blanc de Blancs ($70.99) Loads of primary fruit and bits of butter pastry, quite full and rich in the mouth with a finish that reminds me of roasted apples in buttery crust.

2002 R.H. Coutier Grand Cru Brut ($59.99) One of the most feminine wines of the night which was a bit of a shock considering the high percentage of Pinot Noir here. All grace this wine; rose petals, herbs, lemon custard, red apple skin and brioche. Full in the mouth but so gentle, seems to almost tiptoe across the palate and leave behind the softest kiss of sweet cream and apples.



2002 Camille Saves Grand Cru Brut ($65.99) Not only a librarian in fishnets, a tall, curvy librarian in fishnets. Massive structure, big mouthfuls of dark red fruit and pie crust with holiday spice and lemon curd. The flavors change with each sip, reveling something a little different….a little more. Painfully sexy wine that stains the palate and goes on forever.

After pouring the last flight I banged two glasses together in order to nab the crowd’s attention for one final word about the wines, to thank them for their support all year and to tell them that while I have many opinions on how to drink Champagne; not too cold, no sweets, in a regular glass, it is only because I love the wines so much that I want them to show the best they possibly can each time they drink them but…well the thing I wanted most of all was for people to drink them. Too cold, in a flute and with a bar of chocolate…just drink them.

I stood back and watched people buzz about the wines, some excitedly, others quietly sniffing and sipping, taking their own bath in aromas and developing flavors…marveled at the watching of others either revisiting with an old love or falling in love for the first time. Thought about the changes my own love affair has gone through, how Billecart-Salmon began breaking my heart, leaving me flat and disappointing me more often than pleasing me. How Pierre Peters, Agrapart, Camille Saves, Billiot were able to stoke the flame that pushes me, makes me purr, inspires cravings and burns in me still…..



I love all the wines of France…okay I’m not hot for Bordeaux but no other regions wine can do to and for me what those of Champagne can. It’s true love of this I am sure…..

Sunday, December 5, 2010

What True Happiness Looks Like



Just purchased....for Jeremy. I will in fact get my only Christmas wish, a hug from my baby on Christmas morning.

Just yesterday I was working the floor at the shop, the Christmas Cd's in full shuffle and (admittedly hormonal) twice I found myself with tears in my eyes. First when I'll Be Home for Christmas came on....gawd what a horribly depressing song that is. Now I know it was created to be uplifting and all but holy hell what a dagger when you are feeling all sorry for yourself.

Second was when Baby It's Cold Outside cycled in, this is Jeremy's favorite Christmas song. When he worked for us at The Wine Country and this song would come on he would crane his neck looking for me, do this adorable Sinatra-like snapping thing and sing it to me. When it came on yesterday I instinctively scanned the store looking for him. Totally crazy right, I knew he wasn't going to be there grinning and snapping his fingers but my momma thing kicked in...I looked. Half a second later I was on my way to the ladies room trying desperately to act like I was not about to lose my shit.

This morning it took only four words and I was once again in tears, "The baby is booked".....one more Christmas song played in my head, This Is My Grown Up Christmas Wish.

Best gift I have ever received....

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I Love The Way You Move




Round
Silky
Plump
Sumptuous
Polished
Primary
Sharp
Stark
Sexy
Racy
Acidic
Layered
Long
Complex
Intriguing
Haunting
Mind bending
Beguiling
Charming
Regal
Raw
Wild
Untamed



Wine…..

I sit here, Dave Matthews groaning in my ears, tasting notes on lined sheets before me and I can’t help but be envious. The achingly palpable want you inspire, the way the very thought of you can make my skin pull tight against my bones, the tiny blonde hairs stand alert and ready….the mere memory of your scent can make me swallow hard, hear a low raspy saxophone that causes my shoulders to loosen. The evocative promise of one more taste. One more moment alone with you…just my mouth, you lying, spreading across my tongue, your body mine to roll around, swish against the silky sides of my mouth. Your painfully craveable stain forever a whisper in my ear, a poke in my side, a scrapping of teeth along my ribcage.



Want.
Damn
I love the way you move…..me

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Please Do




NOT do this. Oh Gawd, this looks so vile. A "cake" made from ground turkey and stuffing with mashed potatoes as frosting. I'm going to blame the Queen of Cheese Sandra Lee. Please don't do that but...

Please DO have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Eat well
Drink better
Laugh loud




Take a moment to remember the faces and laughter of those that might not be able to rest their feet beneath the table of this years feast. Be thankful for their contribution, their seasoning of your memories. Honor them by finding joy in the picturing of them.

Most of all just be thankful for what you do have
For those you love
Those that love you in return

I wish I had a table large enough to invite each one of you that has touched my life
Said the absolute right thing
Made me feel loved and appreciated
Time and time again
I am so thankful to you all....




I will raise a glass
Whisper your names in my head
Smile thinking of you happily nibbling away at a table full of love and laughter
Feel thankful for
You

Cheers
Samantha Dugan
Wine Slinger
Occasional ranter
Mother
Daughter
Sister
Wife
Humbled Storyteller

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Okay, This Right Here Kinda Sucks




You know those weeks that are sailing along, full of promise, laughter, love and that utter amazement at how lucky you are to be awake and alive? Yeah that was last week. This week could not be further away from that.

Started with being behind on my newsletter stuff, I’m not a stress case kind of person, I just don’t get worked up in tizzies too often but when I feel like I am letting someone down like I do every time I am late getting my write ups to Randy? Well it sends me into a stress filled, self loathing kind of spin that leaves me dizzy, and speechless…which is always perfect when you are stressed because you are late getting someone your words, and like a complete loser. Then comes the aftermath of introspection, why am I always late? Why can’t I just spill all the love I have for a wine that intrigued me enough to purchase for the store into a shelf talker that will make everyone want to buy it…maybe that’s the bit of pressure that stands on my neck making it impossible to speak. Whatever, between the stress dizzies and the beating up of myself I end up exhausted and lifeless….and that was only Sunday.

Monday, my cherished day off and date night with the wee boyfriend, this had to perk me up right? Um, yeah had to cancel the date night. We were having our annual Wine of the Year judging at the shop so after being called a “wet blanket” by my four year old boyfriend I headed out to taste and vote. Now this is always a fun tasting, the staff is all fired up to share the wines that make our hearts pound, the wines that stood out in a year’s worth of tasting appointments and classes. Great wines, we get to taste, talk about, vote and argue about great wines, a perfect day for me but even this had me feeling a little gloomy.



“Have fun!” the husband chirped on his way out the door for MY date night. “Oh my wines are going to get clobbered” I responded. There was really only one wine worthy of my Wine of the Year this year and I just knew it was going to be knocked out in the first round of judging. Maybe it was the post newsletter gloom but I was sullen when I walked in the shop for the judging, just knowing that a wine I was so in love with was going to get tossed aside and deemed “too weird” or just not good enough.

Wrong! I was so wrong and my odd little wine swept in the White Wine of the Year battle. Amazing, felt amazing and when I got home I could not shut up about it. I was just so thrilled that the wine spoke to everyone and even more excited that a big bunch of people would be giving the wine a try based on our giving it a Wine of the Year approval. So imagine how my heart sank when I got an email from the importer telling me they had made a mistake. “There are 10 cases coming but it won’t be until January and it will be a new vintage” Fuck….fuck. Most of you probably won’t understand how crushing this was for me, for that consider yourself lucky that you are not as big a geek as I am but….my eyes literally filled with tears as I read those words. It’s not winning, hell all the wines I put up took the win this year, it was this one wine and the hope….the belief I had in it, the way I wanted everyone to have their hearts pound away too. Deflating but….that was just Monday.

Tuesday found me picking at the scab of an argument that never truly healed for me and brought the added benefit of rage, disappointment and hint of condescension from someone I love very deeply.



Wednesday was a whole ball of wax; found out we were in fact not done with the newsletter…a big important part simply forgotten, (insert self loathing here), an email from another loved, a giant slap in the face and questions of loyalty, a documentary that ripped my heart out and sent me to bed puffy with tears and wondering how people can be so cruel but….that was just Wednesday.

I woke this morning still puffy but giving myself the post cry pep talk, “Well least your eyes are wicked green today” the one upside to a big cry. I was ready to take on the day and then the text that done me in




“They are changing the rules at work. No one can request time off and no one can leave the week of Christmas” Jeremy. Jeremy may not be home for Christmas this year. The first year in 21 that I may not get my most wanted thing, a hug from my baby Christmas morning.

I’d like to ask whomever is holding the voodoo doll in my likeness to ease the hell up already. I am breathing a heavy sigh as I get ready to leave for work this morning, placing all the hope I can muster in the basket of selling wine. A great day at the shop I love, selling wine to people that adore it as much as I do….least I still have that. Sheesh…..


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Distractions....




I’m two days late for deadline, hoping that Randy has once again given us a little pillow of time pushing….knowing his devoted but procrastinating and writers block stricken staff as he does, and as I sit here in my jammies, still unwashed, smoking too much, sipping on a glass of “inspiration”….my standard punishment for my tardiness, this “You can’t go anywhere or do anything until you finish” thing, and my mind is wandering. The lust and want I wish to inspire with descriptions of Champagne, Meursault and Northern Rhone Syrah getting lost amidst my own desires, my wants…my lust. All of it mixing with guilt and threatening to overtake me…

So I came here. A new Word document, a blank page, to purge. Rid myself of these consuming distractions that are pulling me in too many directions, tugging at me…making my stomach flutter, my heart pound and are suffocating my focus. No matter how many times I rub my makeup-less face, no matter how severe the tone in my, “Knock it off and focus!” growl, no matter how many times I beg, coo and plead these images, memories, flavors, fantasies and cravings refuse to leave me and let me work.




So I came here. Here to fill this page, fill my loyal readers and ask that you read them, hold them for me, feel them for me…keep them warm and wanted until I can once again let them roam freely throughout my mind and my body…let them once again raise my skin, own my will, move me. Hold them tight, picture them vividly, groan at the very thought, assure them that they are craveable, desirable and wanted so badly….

No one needs to take them all, you can spilt them up, take turns caring for them, trade them when you need but I beg of you….promise them that I shall return for them. Assure them that they are mine, that I need them and that without my overwhelming desire to attain them that I could never be this woman that I am. Whisper my name as you hold them, devour them as needed but do not let them forget where their home is and that I will soon be back to collect them.

I trust you all….




I’m dreaming of

The smell of a fire while snuggled beneath a blanket

Warm water climbing up my back and spilling down over my shoulders

Resting on my tummy while fingertips trace my tattoo

The crunch, the give and tug of a perfectly fried scallion cake

That almost painful stab in the side of my neck with my first sip of Sancerre




My teeth piercing tender dumpling flesh and feeling the insides spill onto my palate

Lips brushing against that soft patch of skin behind my knees

A smear of thick, pungent Epoisses on hot from the oven bread

Frozen shards of Gin melting between my lips as I suck them from my martini glass

Desperate stolen kisses




The weight and aggression of Grand Cru Burgundy in my mouth

The kind of voice that arches my back and makes the skin on my body tight

Words, no matter how few, that take my breath away….




These are the things that are spinning around inside me. The wants that need a place to land until I am once again ready to let them swim around beneath my flesh, hold them for me…love and want them for me. I need them so badly but right now…I need to work.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Quick Detour....


What the hell?!

This bottle was forced in my hand by some random "sales rep" this afternoon. The second I saw it I thought for sure my bosses were testing me. Like they sent this aggressive woman, this wont-take-no-for-an-answer beast with her bad hair, loud perfume, even louder shirt, shitty attitude and eyeliner that was either a result of her dt's or some sort of seismic reading. I figured they sent her to see how I would react in such a situation, see if I could refrain from making my, "Are you high?!" face complete with snarl and scary Sam eyebrow.


"I wanted to show you this" the beast says while handing me this bottle wrapped...and I kid you not, in a plastic bag like the ones you shove your leaky meat into at the grocery store. I looked at the bottle, (scroll back up and feel my pain) and looked back at her while scanning the store for Randy and Dale peeking behind case stacks to see of I was gonna go Di Nero on her ass.

"It's already doing well at Vons" she told me with her one bar too many crinkled mug. This, this was my out. I handed the bottle back to her, the plastic kind of sticking to my hand and said, "Oh okay, we don't stock things that people can find at Vons" grinning, I was grinning....not because I was feeling bitchy as much as I was relieved that I would not have to actually taste it. Stare. Hard stare with a smirk, this is what this plastic bag wrapping, glitter bottle peddling, Baby Jane looking woman gave me. Oh...okay, it's on.





"It's doing well. Why wouldn't a place like this want to stock a wine that is doing well?" she challenged. "Why the hell would anyone drive here, to get.....that, when they can buy it while buying their suppositories?" I replied again looking for Randy and Dale sure that I was getting a giant "F" on this test. "Look, we are a destination store, people have to make the effort to come here and if they can get this while shopping then there is no need for us to have it" I said refusing to take the sticky bag bottle again.

"Here" she said shoving the bottle against my arm, "Just let me leave the bottle and I'll wait for your call" I let the tacky...in oh so many ways, bottle fall in my palm and watched as the sea hag marched triumphantly for the front door, my shock and awe hanging like a bubble of drool from my "how the hell did this happen?" lips.

Got the wine home and after showing it to my husband who instantly said, "What the hell is THAT?" I shoved the bling bottle in the fridge to give it a chill. An hour later I pulled the hideous bottle from its chilling chamber and popped the cork...

Budweiser, smells exactly like Budweiser. That sweet, insipid stank of the world's worst beer....awesome. Took one sip of the nearly clear liquid and again....King of Beers. Fantastic. The one beer on the planet that had me thinking all beer was utter shit was now wearing a fancy gold bottle and calling itself sparkling wine....still shit.





Best part? This hooker juice wholesales for...$21.99 a bottle. Well unless you want the bottle without the "jewels" and yes, that's what Baby Jane called them, you can get the less bedazzled bottle wholesale for $sixteen something....fuck.

Cannot wait for her follow up call......