Wednesday, February 17, 2016


After 6 weeks of broken legged house arrest, the ankle bracelet has been removed. My beginning of the year crust has been cracked and all the while I sat dormant, still, not washed enough, bored, lonely and feeling both physical and emotional strain and pain, I kept thinking, "I want my normal life back" but now, with this, still stiff but promised flexibility and mobility I feel something else entirely.....I want more than a normal life, I am gnawing for an exceptional one. Dammit. 

I want


 Lie on the grass and let the little flicks of windblown hair land upon my forehead like tiny kisses

 Spend more time pressed against bare skin

Drink at least one bottle of grower Champagne a week. For $35-$50, what we might spend on a lazy ass stop in for dinner at like Chili's or something, I can instead feel the bead of brilliance and let the power of Billiot, Suenen, Vesselle, Saves, Agrapart or Gaucher stain me so deeply that I shan't ever get clean

Master the art of frying artichokes 

Find myself sloshing about in the pool, on a Tuesday at like 9:30 PM

Never sit upon that section of the couch that was my prison for a month again

Forgive myself a little for my fatness and go clothes shopping a little more often

Buy more big white t-shirts, cut to collars off of them and wear them around the house with a pair of ripped up and faded jeans. A look that drives my husband wild and the fact that that is even possible after almost 22 years is something that ought to be pet and paid attention to

Give up one of my trash television shows

Eat with my fingers and lick myself clean

Find a new writer to fall deeply in lust with, and devour their every word

Spend even more time in my kitchen

Make myself understand Bordeaux

Find a signature necklace, a fearless one and own it

Make someones life just a tiny bit better, even if it is only for a few minutes *

Chip off another layer and expose my inner sponge....soak more in so when I'm squeezed I ooze experience, humanness, passion, bright colors and the aroma of curiosity

Use more anchovies

Write like no one is reading.....


Be here, once a week at the very least whether I have anything profound to say or not....just be here, talking, find and feel my voice come pulsing through me's beyond want, I need it

Little more healing to do and then starts the beginning of my first, well I guess it is technically the second if you count the breaking of my right leg, big adventure of 2016. I will be soaking in Paris, Beaune, Lyon, Normandy, Jura, Nuits-Saint-Georges and Reims. From virtually no travel last year, (in part a contribution to my lack of luster) to a full immersion in the crave inducing, beloved France. Cannot believe it....and cannot wait.

 Thanks so much for your patience and I cannot wait to see both of you here more often. 


* I nearly cried when I was able to really wash my hair, face, neck, breasts and thighs after several days not being able to due to my cast and getting the non-accessible bathroom and shower just a little more accessible. Feeling the warm water running from my oil soaked scalp, over my face and down my back....the smell of soap as I lathered and scrubbed, the silky caress of wet hair floating across my shoulders as I washed the conditioner out. In those few minutes I was able to wash away hours of disgust and misery, just feeling and getting clean. I began thinking about all the people on the streets, especially women, that have no access to a regular bathroom let alone a regular shower, broke my heart...made me want to help just a little if I can. So I've asked all my friends and family, especially those with heavy travel schedules, to gobble up all the extra soaps and shampoos from their hotel stays, maybe ask for a couple extra if they can, and send them to me. I'm willing to pay shipping and for any/all packing material, but I want to make little wash sacks for the homeless women of Long Beach. Just bags or old purses with travel sized toothbrushes, toothpaste, soaps, shampoo, sanitary products and wet wipes. Just something they can have to wash their yuck away....if even for a moment. Anyone interested in sending me soaps and such, please feel free to contact me here or at The Wine Country



Sonya C said...

I'm so lucky to know you. You inspired me today beyond imagination. Thank you! Lots of love xoxoxo

Samantha Dugan said...

Awe, I miss you! If I touched you at all today the gift was mine. Thank you for visiting and letting me be a part of your life. Just had someone write me and mention my, "resolutions" and it's funny, I don't see it like that, I see it more like making restitution for time wasted.
Thanks for loving me girlie.

Ron Washam said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

Sign me up for that bare skin duty--think of me as your bare skin rug.

That you intend to be here once a week fills me with happiness. I'm here at Meadowood among a chorus of wine writers, and there's not one of them here I'd rather read than you. Or be a bare skin rug with.

Your cause of delivering shampoos and soaps to the homeless is typical of your compassion and generosity. Meadowood will be short a bunch as soon as I can escape this craziness.

I love you so!

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,

Ah yes, they symposium, my bout there was when I decided I was never to be a "real" wine writer. Not my kind of deal that's for sure, so get out of there, get down here and bare skin rub me!

That said, the Meadowood digs are gorgeous and I just know that a struggling woman somewhere in Long Beach is going to feel hopeful, if only for a moment, because of the swanky soups you're fixing to steal for me! Thanks for that Love.
I love you too!

webb said...

So sorry you've been laid up. have been missing your posts. Don't go too far, too fast so you don't have to repeat some of that sofa time.

Will check my stash of stuff.

Samantha Dugan said...

Trust me lady, I followed directions to the letter....which as I'm sure you can guess is totally not like me. I was so miserable, couldn't find a way to even write without tweaking my back, the whole time this month long trip to France on the horizon. Done did as I was told, for once.

If you have a stash great! If not maybe mention it to some folks? This is going to be a continuing thing once I get it fully rolling so the more people that know the better.
Thanks for checking in.

Thomas said...

Ah shucks. I was almost going to be in France in April. Is that when you will be there?

Anyway, nice that you have both feet on the ground, and your ass in the air, or at least off the couch, which I have to do right now...later.

Samantha Dugan said...


Dang it! Was hoping you might have a tip on the artichokes! Yes, April is the month I will be wrapped up in my lovers arms. I swear I can almost smell the Bresse chickens blistering away in the carts along the streets of the Beaune Saturday market.....

Thomas said...

Had I known you'd be there I would have made the plan work. Too late now.

Douglas Trapasso said...

Hi Samantha! I left a message at your store while you were gone. The gentleman I spoke with was very nice! Hopefully we can touch base soon; I look forward to your comments on HoseMaster almost as much as the original stories.

Samantha Dugan said...

Well hello and so nice to hear from you. Very sweet compliment about my HoseMaster comments, Ron is the sweetest and lets me get away with plenty over there. Very glas to hear my shop dudes were nice. Guess I'm not too surprised as all the guys we have right now are genuinely nice humans, hasn't always been the case. I've not received the message that you called but I have been popping in and out right now, coming home when the pain gets to be too much. You can always email me here at the blog too, I mean if there was something in particular you wanted to chat about.
Thanks for popping by and leaving a note, nice to know people are still listening!

Unknown said...

"...soak more in so when I'm squeezed I ooze experience, humanness, passion, bright colors and the aroma of curiosity"

DAMN, I love (and envy) your way with words. And I would so love to buy your book of "journal entries" from your trips to France. (hint, hint).

Welcome back and don't overdo it with your regained mobility.


Samantha Dugan said...

Ha! I know many people that hate it when I use the word ooze. I love it as I feel like it evokes an actual visual which ain't all that easy to do with one word. Thank you once again for appreciating whatever it is I do here, and wanting more. Drives me that.