I give you Riedel's Mamba decanter. For the ridiculously low price of $525.00 you too can own this artistically stunning, visually captivating, mind bending, warped glass, tubed, wine holder thingie. Gets my snake going for sure....
It's freaking rad. How can you not bask in the sheer genius and bow down before this symbol of utter and complete self-aggrandizing foolishness?
Owning this decanter will prove to everyone what a wine lover you are. How serious you take your evening tipple. How much you respect wine and all that it stands for. How you will go to any lengths to ensure that each sip of wine that passes your lips has been opened to its full potential.
Yup, that and that you are a wad of the first order, a fool with his money, probably have extra room in the crotch of your pants, have people you pay to wash your dishes for you, (Um, seriously, how does one wash this thing?!) and you might want to make an appointment with a psychotherapist who can help you work out your, "I didn't get enough toys" issues.
Or I'm totally wrong, as usual, this is wicked cool and useful and will look way badass sitting next to this
on your wine table.
For me, right on the Veto list.
Call me short-sighted, but associating 'snakes' and 'wine' does nothing to enhance my wine experience. I'm guessing there is a decanter-specific cleaning tool that you can only get from Riedel for a twice-as-high-as-it-should-be price?
ReplyDeleteUnknown,
ReplyDeleteI'm holding out for the Trans Am Eagle decanter...cuzz that right there is totally hot.
I might be enticed to drink an authentic Vietnamese snake wine once in my life. But every wine I ever choose to decant? Um... no.
ReplyDeleteFor that kind of money I'm more likely to buy something I will get more use and enjoyment out of. Maybe a Le Creuset 9qt doufeu.
ok, i get that it is overpriced and useless, but that thing is totally freaking awesome! It did inspire me to wonder the same thing as you, which is to ask, "how the heck do you wash that thing?"
ReplyDeleteJohn,
ReplyDeleteI have a bottle of some sort of snake whiskey should you ever get the fever for that flavor. We could buy Le Creuset, I could fly up and we could cook dinner for the price of that hunk of stoopid glass. Lame.
Gabe Kid,
ReplyDeleteIf you have to ask, well then you can't afford the hired help that is in charge of cleaning that thing. 1st world problem for sure.
What the farfitty farf narffle? Um I guess at least it could be seen as a sign the economy is coming back..
ReplyDeleteRogue Wino,
ReplyDeleteIt's okay girlie, you can use "fuck" and "What the fuck?" here. Kind of the only charm I got left, my love of the foul side of our rustic and challenging language.
We have one of these in our store. I think ours is actually called the Black Mamba. It is the most stunning, captivating dust collector, ever. I doubt we'll ever sell it.
ReplyDeleteLooks like they might urologists designing items at Riedel?
ReplyDeleteMight have, might have urologists
ReplyDeleteMy Gorgeous Samatha,
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure it's actually a gerbil cage. Only an asshole would put wine in it, much less buy it.
I love you!
Ron,
ReplyDeleteAsshole--urology: close.
Veronica,
ReplyDeleteWell now I know where to send the droves of people that are surely going to come in looking for this. Thanks!
Ron My Love,
Thomas just beat me to it, by like 3 seconds even! Drat. I'm too sleepy to think of anything clever-er than that even so, "Yeah, what Thomas said" and I love you too!
Thomas,
Good one!
hmmm...Chihuly reject, pretentious art, or handy container for your snake oil?
ReplyDeletedoes it make $15 wine taste as good as when I pour out a small bit and give the bottle a vigorous shake with my thumb covering the opening? I don't think so!
I was going to buy one until I decided that this month we might prefer to make the car payment or have something useful like FOOD.
Daniel,
ReplyDeleteWell then you sir are decidedly uncool. Thanks for posting!
Are you sure it's for wine? Maybe Reidel is branching out and this is a prototype for Washington and Colorado "customers".
ReplyDeleteWtE
Winey,
ReplyDeleteHell darlin, I never even considered that possibility. I think you are a wise, wise man....
Every time I see that "dragon-looking wine decanter thing" my mind also defaults to "not interested in even learning how to wash that thing." Same with clothing - I don't have time or desire for high maintenance belongings in my life. Ask the ex-husband. No time. 2nd thought on the dragon thingy - does it come with a $275 straw or am I supposed to just get in one of my people-trick yoga poses and find a way to tilt this thing into my wide open trap? Fuck I love you!
ReplyDeleteValerie,
ReplyDeleteJeremy brought up the same thing when he saw it this morning, "Know what a bitch it is going to be to pour the last glass with that stupid thing?!"...he makes his momma proud. I fucking love you too lady and your last piece was, (ahem long over due) inspiring to me, so thank you for that.
I think I'm gonna buy one of those, then brag about how wine doesn't really taste good unless you drink it out of a long curvy dick, and people who have't tried it can't possibly understand. That won't be annoying
ReplyDeleteGabe,
ReplyDeleteNope, not at all. Oh and by the way, I hate you the second you do that.
It's dumb and I hate it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with John, I'd rather spend my money on Le Creuset.