Monday, February 14, 2011

How To Get You Some... (The Wine Country Newsletter Article)

Do you love your partner? Do you really want to make this Valentine’s Day something to remember? Do you ache to make your beloved feel like the most treasured and sexy beast on the planet? Then step away from the stuffed animals, pre-fixed (read crappy) dinner out and for the love of all that is holy drop that dusty heart shaped box of waxy chocolates and creepy tube of red roses! First of all, anyone that is of legal drinking age does not need another stuffed animal, have you seen Hoarders?! I for one am convinced that’s where it starts, with some attachment to those plastic eyed, plushy expressions of “love”…don’t do it. Secondly those romantic Valentine’s dinners are a total hosing, the food is marginal at best, the service is sketchy and the truth is they know you feel as if this is what you have to do so they charge far more than the meal is worth. Nothing says I love you like a craptastic meal out, Yay. As for the crappy chocolates and plastic wrapped roses, first of all it is a little trite and absolutely unimaginative and secondly if you can find it at CVS…you know, near the Q-Tips and booger remedies, well it aint all that romantic, trust me.

I don’t claim to be an expert on love, on what a woman or man wants but I have been a study of human behavior for years and a observer of customer interaction for almost as long and I can tell you, from firsthand experience there has never been more snuggling, smooching and out and out sensual behavior than there is at one of my Champagne events. Not even close. I know people get all gushy about Burgundy and the Loire but noting elicits more overtly playful and downright flirtatious behavior than Champagne. Something about those tiny bubbles just renders many of us incapable of controlling ourselves and isn’t that what as the gift giver we are really aiming for?! This is the one day of the year that getting “lucky” is pretty much a given but would you rather be snuggling up to someone with a belly full of fantastically loosening bubbles or someone that just ate a heart shaped pile of pasta served on a wet plate by someone that gives a rats ass and costs three times what it’s worth? Bubble belly, go for the bubble belly…trust me.

Make a simple dinner, something like omelets with a simple salad or go all out, (and save yourself some time) and pick up some fried chicken or swing my The Wine Country and let us pick you out some cheeses, olives and salamis for your own little carpet picnic. Grab a couple, (trust me you will need two) bottles of Champagne and show the one you love just how special they really are. You can thank me later…..


Valerie said...

You hit the nail right on the head - "craptastic" dinners out in overpriced and overcrowded restaurants. Bubbly is better, baby!

Samantha Dugan said...

Right?! Not to mention more likely to get you laid....