Wednesday, March 5, 2014
One Last Kiss
I had been thinking of you all day, thinking about the fact that last night was to be the last night I would have to see you, touch you, smell you….it was been a long day but I hated to watch the sky turn that cold shade of blue that let me know that the day was almost over and night was coming, our last night was coming. While I knew the day would have to come I had been pushing the thought out of my mind, sailing through my days with blinders on but always with a tick-tock buried deep in the back of my cluttered head, flinching the once or twice I even let myself drift to the thought of being without you….
My drive home was a schizophrenic, I let myself remember you, think of how I longed for you, the way you touched my lips in just a way that would make me suck the air deep into my chest…not wanting to exhale, not wanting that one second of sheer pleasure escape my body. As if holding you there would make the moment last forever, or as long as I could have it. The way my fingers would run along the length of your frame and I remember, even now how even though you made me feel warm there was coolness to you, like even my fingers knew that you would not, could not be mine for long.
My mind then shifted to the many times that even though I loved you, I would let my desire wander, look to others to please me and how each time we were reunited you reminded me that although others may be “fun” there was something serious happening here…. We were never perfect together but somehow it just fit, I understood your feral nature and you filled my heart with comfort and my body with delectation.
But last night, we had to let it all become a memory, a memory that makes me smile, ache and wish that I could see you one last time…..knowing it will never be will only remind me of how special you were, worth remembering worth longing for, worth missing…..I see myself years from now rubbing my fingers across my lips, picturing you, remembering the way that you move and wishing I could taste you one last time. I will miss you more than could ever possibly fathom.
As I pulled you out
Ran my fingers along the length of you
Felt the insides of my mouth begin to water with want
Could hear my own breath and heartbeat as the soundtrack
Of our last night
The next You
The newest You
The "best" You
Will never taste or feel as sweet
Never be better than you were last night...
Wine not unlike people has personality, each vintage a little different…not better or worse, just different and the more we drink them the more you can decipher the subtle touch that each vintage lends to what is in the glass. Love each vintage for what it is and look forward to the next like you would a first kiss from a new love.