Reset

Ever get in those ruts where it feels like you can’t do anything right? Like each day is a series of “This is why you suck” moments that kind of crack away at your frame and inspire little more than trips to the couch where you can settle into the familiarity of potatoness. Feels like I’ve been spinning around in the suckie tumbler a bunch lately, everything from failing to write a post about the worst kind of wine pandering by a wine director at a San Francisco wine bar…Easter candy and wine pairings? What an asshole….to trying to indulge in one of the most basic and raw of feel good moments, the ones you choose to endeavor when the house is empty and the laptop is whispering, “C’mon, no one will know”. Yeah, not sure about you all but getting seven minutes into one of those, um, films and then having it dawn on you, “Hey, that woman has a penis” sort of a fail of massive proportions. Who fails porn?! Yeah, this wine slinger that’s who. Whimper….

So I’ve been bumping along, fixing my fuck ups, trying to figure out how I could be so wrong about certain things, being an ear for others even though I feel as if I have no business giving advice, I mean aside from tranny porn, to anyone seeing as I haven’t felt like my shit has been in anyway together. I write long erotic posts for a blog no one gets, (or “has” might be truer) to read and find my thrills sitting across the tasting table at work where the flavors and textures feel like long soothing fingertip strokes. Trying real hard not to get sucked too far into the woe-is-me tunnel and desperately seeking anything that will make me feel good, if only for as long as they rest upon my tongue and splash along the slippery insides of my mouth. Got Spain in eight days, and wine is once again pulling me up by my collar, calling me, urging me, reminding me with that sexy growl, “Baby, you are so good at this”…fucking need that so bad right now. 

Friday night I hosted a sold out tasting of grower Champagnes, all comprised of mostly Pinot Noir, all luscious, sexy, powerful and rebellious, not easy to just close your eyes and suck back. These wines serious and requiring a bit more thought, not that spending time trying to figure them out is in any way a chore as these are wines that slither across the palate and spread themselves into your memory, hope that you admire and appreciate them but defy you to forget them…pretty fucking hot if you ask me. Hot and just what this seeking woman needed. It wasn’t one of those groaning nights of utter seduction, well not with all the wines and maybe my current cycle of, “Oh c’mon!” made me a little less open and more inquisitive, but it seemed as if the whole room was also into the chase, the wines running just far enough ahead that we all had to reach out a little further to wrestle them…sexy. Wasn’t sure how that kind of dance was going to go over with the group as a whole but the numbers at the end of the night, along with the holes in my Champagne racks, reminded me that sometimes easy isn’t always best. Sometimes it’s the things you have to work for that are the most fulfilling, rewarding, compelling…..thrilling. Remembering that has me opening up again, ready to board that plane to Spain and challenge myself a little more each day, urge and coax those around me and invested in me to do the same. 

Wines of the Night For Me:

N.V. S. Coquillette Grand Cru Les Cles Blanc de Noirs ($47.99) I found this delicate wine one of the most wine like of the evening. Sure there were bubbles there but the sumptuous red fruit, subtle spicing and bit of tension on the palate just spoke more of Pinot Noir than of bubbly wine…and that right there, that drives me wild. Tight and tucked in but with perfect pitch and balance. 

N.V. Gonet-Medeville 1er Cru Blanc de Noir ($47.99) I almost feel guilty buying and savoring these wines as I end up feeling like I’m getting away with something. Like the butcher has a crush on me and has slipped me an extra few slices of the good prosciutto for free. Aromatically the wines from Gonet-Medeville lean towards the geeky in that they do show some Sherried or slightly oxidized characteristics which actually end up coming off more nutty and toasty than like true Sherry. Match that with deep red fruit and browned butter and you have a glass of something that makes my legs tighten then go weak. Sexy stuff…

N.V. Godme Grand Cru Blanc de Noirs ($59.99) So you know that person you come in contact with that is that mesmeric combination of shy, strong, funny, goofy, scary and vulnerable? Yeah now imagine them darkly golden and sparkling naked in your glass and you’ve got what this Godme did to me. Without question the least forward wine of the night but there was something so intellectually challenging about this wine that I cannot stop thinking about….dreaming about it. Going to be losing its distribution here in our area so I am going to see if I can weasel another case….cannot bare to let it go without a couple more dances.

I loved the Camille Saves and H. Billiot wines as well but these were the wines made me think, made me try harder and even now, days later, I am still under their spell.     

Challenges

Failures

Fuck ups

Misunderstandings

Distrust…

They happen and can be profoundly hard to ignore but…

So can be

Passion

Seduction

Learning

Conquering

Succumbing

Touching

Being touched

Wanting…more

Gotta bank the roll of the dice, and my heart on the latter right? Might be that big dumb heart of mine but, well it keeps thumping away and so will I.