Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Random Stuff That Bugs Me

I like to fancy myself a pretty forgiving person. This of course might not be true at all but it’s something I like to believe. Maybe forgiving is the wrong word but I try not to let other people’s choices, likes, beliefs or preferences shape my opinions of them as individuals. Judgment isn’t really my thing, both as someone that has done, said, eaten and drunk some shit that I’m not always proud of, and as someone that has been on the receiving end of way too much information from friends and strangers alike….as well as disapproving glances. Cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I’m not sure why I’m telling you this” while sitting there with the, “Um, me either but whatever” face. Happens all the time and for the most part, I kind of like that I seem to throw off a vibe that makes people open up and feel comfortable telling me anything, sometimes everything, without fear of me thinking them a freak, dumb, weird or even wrong. I might not come close to understanding all the time but thinking I’m better or smarter, more enlightened….just isn’t me.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I will break balls and make fun at times, especially those times when someone tries to get all hoity on me. Like the time a friend and I were talking and I made reference to A Christmas Story, the movie, and he began to poke fun at me for even bringing up such a film and then he went on to say, “I was watching Glee the other night” or when someone on their third marriage starts waxing about who should or should not be given the right to be married. Well then I will pull out the fangs a bit but never out of anger or even judgment really, but more as a way of pointing out hypocrisy and giving a little nudge. Just can’t think of even one person that has life completely figured out, especially me, so I simply cannot go around getting all pissed off when people are doing, thinking, saying or behaving in a manner that might not be my preferred option. Not to mention, I don’t see the point of getting my own crunders in a bunch over what other people do….what a waste of time. You do your thing, let me do mine and chances are you will not hear anything but words of support from me. Now that being said, I do find myself bugged from time to time and this past week there were several occasions that had my undies all kinds of twisted….got me thinking about the stuff that kinda bugs me.

The new Princess Cruises commercial where people pick up a seashell and it’s a phone…ugh, and it’s the “Sea calling”. Not only do I think it is a lame ass idea for a commercial, they have The Sea sounding like a fairy princess. Bullshit. The Sea should sound powerful, fierce and a little sexy if you ask me. Bugs me.

Another commercial, this time for Ball Park microwaveable burger patties where the closing line is, “You get a hot off the grill burger in one minute” well, no you don’t. You get a microwaved slab of beef that has never touched a grill in one minute. Bugs me.

The customer that comes to lots and lots of my tastings, nice enough woman that seems fairly eager, although she is a taster and not a shopper, but that isn’t it. It is when she feels the need to ask me very specific questions, like every time and on nearly every wine. Eyes all wide, voice kind of bellowing, I take a deep breath, (because I know what is coming) and get maybe three lines into the answer, that she requested, and she cuts me off with a, “Oh what do I know! I’m dumb!” shit you not, on almost every wine. I loathe being cut off in general but cut me off with something loaded like that….you’re almost asking for it. Bugs me.

The old guy that comes in once a month, printed pages from our newsletter in hand, quiet and mild mannered but feels the need to place each wine on the counter and ask, “This any good?” and when I look to the pages containing the words that brought him in to try the wine in the first place, then back at him and say, “Yes, it’s very good” and he lets out a somewhat distrusting giggle? Bugs me.

Wine professionals that have the nerve to say things like, “I’m not sure it’s smart business to serve the lowest common denominator of wine drinker” often referring to people that like things like Stella Rosa or Moscato. First of all selling wine IS our business jackhole, that means whatever kind of wine to the consumers that want them. Secondly, who gets to determine what is the lowest common denominator?! Give me one of those, “I know I like sweet wine” people over an asshat that has no idea what he likes, or should like and buys simply on scores…like any day. Bugs the fuck outta me.

The two least funny people on the planet. The ones that walk in the front door and say, “Hey, you got any wine?!” and the one that when an item fails to scan at the registers says, “Must be free then!” always laughing hysterically, at themselves, as if they were the first one to ever say it and can’t figure out why I’m not laughing too. Um, because you aren’t the first one to say it, heard it hundreds of times before and guess what, didn’t laugh at the first guy who said it either because it isn’t funny. Bugs me.

Anyone in the wine profession that believes their way is the only way. Happens way too fucking much for my liking, this implied and arrogant belief that others are deriving less pleasure from wine when they drink things in styles other than X. This has become so rampant in the wine world, especially in the blogging end of things that I’ve gotten to where I almost can’t read wine blogs anymore. You can find a writer tossing about the douchy “You don’t get it unless you like” in the post and then find the same bullshit from the other side in the comments section. Nice example and oh so welcoming to others that might still be trying to figure shit out for themselves. Bugs me.

People that refuse to admit that Provencal Roses are dry. Just can’t get past the pink color, will twist their face all up, often before even tasting the wines and say shit like, “That’s way…..WAY too sweet for me” and then run over for their bottle of Rombauer or Opolo Zinfandel. Shut up. You don’t want to drink pink wine, whatever, but call those wines sweet, because they’re pink but drink wines with way….WAY more residual sugar? You Bug Me.


Valerie said...

Oh, so many bugs, so little time to swat them all. Just popping round to catch up - miss starting my mornings with you, Sara, the other Sam. Stories for you one of these days...xo

middle child said...

Loved this post! Don't cha just wish it was ok to slap someone? Hang in there.

Samantha Dugan said...

Hey Val,
Nice to see ya sweet lady. Get on those stories, can't wait to read!

Middle Child,
I would settle for being able to give a fierce glare....which I may have to confess doing from time to time. Of course I'll hang in there!

Carolyn Blakeslee said...

I'm a beginner when it comes to rosés, but taste everything with an open mind -- I try to just be quiet and let the wine teach me what it's expressing, what the winemaker's intention was. Last year was the first time in ages I'd tried a rosé -- it was a Garnacha, and it was a revelation. Powerful and very satisfying. Definitely a fan.

Thomas said...

My wife recently bought me what looks like a cross between a tennis and a squash racquet. It's battery-operated and gives out an electric shock.

What's it for?

It kills bugs.

Wonderful in my garden--maybe you can use it in the retail shop.

Marcia Macomber said...

Then what wine goes with Thomas bug racket?

Seriously... I hate that seashell cruise ad too. It's the photo at the end of the ginormous ship that's 50 stories high and looks like a stiff wind should blow it over on the high seas. All those people stuck together on that boat. Yuck!

Samantha Dugan said...

Rose is new to lots of folks and I always try and keep that in mind. Most are very cool about being honest when they try yourself, some not so much and it's those people that bug me.

Retail can be quite trying, as you know very well, so I think it best that I not be given any kind of zapper...might cost me my job!

That ad just pisses me off. The ocean, a mass that seduces, lulls and has the ability destroy, sounding like Cinderella?! Bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Opolo... the new name in antitussives....

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

Wow, sorry to be so late to the dance! I was on a Princess Cruise. That's code for boinking a Jewish girl.

Don't get me started on stuff that annoys me. I've got four years of blog posts about that. However...

I always hated the bozos who would order a current vintage of a wine from my wine list, taste it, and then proclaim in their wine expert voice, "It's good, but it's a little young." No shit, Sherlock, you knew the vintage when you ordered it, did you expect it to miraculously mature?

And when you recommend Syrah, every asshole who starts to sing, "Que sera sera, whatever will be will be."

And Anonymous commenters...

You, however, I love.

Joe said...

Basically, people suck ass.

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,
Dude! I forgot about the "Que sera sera" fuckers. Ugh! Hate that one too. Speaking of Syrah, tasted one from Cotie-Rotie today that so made me think of you. Bringing in a case just so I can nab a bottle for the off chance that you and I are face to face again, need to taste that again, with you. Glorious stuff....damn.

I'd like to think not but...some do.

Sara Louise said...

Rosés from Provence are definitely not sweet! Heaven knows I drink enough of them to know. Morons.
And this... "I’m not sure it’s smart business to serve the lowest common denominator of wine drinker"... this would bug the sh*t out of me. What a douche.

Samantha Dugan said...

That one is still bugging the shit out of me. Worst kind of wine snob.