Got Milk?

Um, maybe her bra broke too....

Am I Just A Snob Or Is This Just Wrong?

"Sam I have a new post for you" Dale told me as she handed over the sample of The Wine Diaper she was sent. I'm not against the idea, rather fond of my wine arriving in one piece and my clothes not wreaking of Sauvignon Blanc but....really? Nothing? Nothing else came to you when thinking of a name for what is really a rather useful contraption? What's next for release the tampon bottle stopper?!

Honestly, swear to Bacchus the first thing I thought was, "Well isn't that handy, a carrier and port-a-potty"

Gonna have to toss this in the Veto pile and stick with......

Sigh.....

Slightly less stupid name and far less image provoking for me.

Lovely To Look At, Nice To Smell But...I Need To Feel You

Walked in the front door this evening already knowing what was to greet me on the other side, silence. The kid on his way back to Kentucky and the hubby on his way to Texas for some work deal. I’d had a pounding headache all day so the sound of my key unlocking the door, the whoosh of nothing….well it was deafening. Plunked my computer bag and purse down on the nearest chair and made a beeline for the kitchen. The pounding in my head all day had left me feeling a little nauseous so I had only been able to nibble on little handfuls of Chex Mix. It was now 6:45 and along with the thump-thump-thumping in my head I was feeling a little light up there too. Checked the fridge and aside from a crap load of beer, (thanks for that Jeremy) there were a couple cheeses….sadly no bread and some hot dogs left over from the kid’s last bash. Fucking hot dogs. Whatever I was starving and beginning to feel a little shaky so I filled a pot and plunked those little bastards in.



Hit the tinklelatorium, kicked off my shoes, ripped off my socks, (always a violent pull, not sure what’s up with that…I guess I hate being bound) and dizzily grabbed my laptop from its case, plugged everything in and as I went to lay my only company for the evening upon its usual spot on the coffee table I saw it. A single sheet of white lined paper, red marker, Jeremy’s handwriting….dude. He had left me a letter; left it in the one place he knew I would be sure to see it. Little bastard. Let’s just say any illusions I had of not losing my shit by walking into an empty house that was still heavy with his scent, well they were flushed the second I read, “Momma, I know you hate these days but part of me believes it has made us both stronger. Just know that I love you with all of my heart and I will miss you like crazy” shit…lost. There was more but will spare you…and me from having to go through that….again.



Blew my now very red nose and woofed down two hot dogs, (I NEVER eat two, I’m a one dog kinda gal) without so much as breathing and braced my blood sugar correcting, snotty nosed, dizzy headed, heart sore self on the couch while all my bits tried to find one another and put me back together. I was like Humpty Dumpty with her doughy encased dogs acting as king’s horseman. I was shaken from my haze by a text message, “Safely landed in Kentucky” followed shortly by, “The bastards broke my Tequila” the baby was safe and pissed about losing some fairly precious cargo. This rage at the loss of high end Anejo would have normally brought a tear to my eye but I was fresh out and just so damned happy to hear my beloved son was on the ground so I just found my giggle and had my first real smile of the day.

Once I was all leveled and snot free I sipped away on a glass of white wine, a simple and easy to drink white wine. I would never say it is a wine I love, (and yes I am leaving the name out on purpose as it is a wine I sell and drink fairly often) but it’s pleasant and something I need not spend any time thinking about. Pop the cork, wash down the day’s yuck and am left with a clean little zip. Easy wine. Just like my stooped hot dog dinner was easy. Did I love it? No. Would I eat/drink them again….sure. Could I write some opus about it…hell no. There is a place for these things, these foods that fill an instant need and wines that do little more than offer something palatable and in my case, fresh tasting. This is part of the reason I get my knickers twisted when I read some blogger’s post about something like Bogle Chenin Blanc. Stop it. It was free and it can serve a purpose but c'mon, lets not make it sound like the second coming.

So I mentioned a couple posts back that I had plans for dinner that were squished by traffic and issues with mobility. I surrendered to the god’s of crap food and knelt before the alter of Der, Der Wienerschnitzel. Yeah yeah yeah, Ms French wine and fancy food is not above eating the shit that comes in a steaming brown sack that is loaded with tiny packets of accoutrement. I confessed my snotty nose so I will now share that I have three joints of the fast food genre that I frequent; Jack In The Box (only breakfast items that are served all day and those egg rolls) Del Taco, doesn’t matter what it is I get but those fries are wicked and Wienerschnitzel…do not judge me my mini corn dogs. Don’t eat them all the time but they will do in times of need or when time is NOT on my side. I can eat these things and appreciate them for what they are but they simply cannot make me feel anything other than puffy and logy.

So the night I drove home with the smell of sweet, sweating summer tomatoes; the ones I envisioned chopping and bathing in lemon juice, salt and slivers of red onion, I ended up eating a chili dog and an order of fries. It was fine, held me over and what not but the soft bun, dense meaty sauce and snap-less dog looked good, tasted good enough but….I wasn’t feeling anything.

Had the same feeling the other day when I ran through the wines from Joel Gott winery. They were affordable, easy, not at all unpleasant but frankly they were like a lazy lover….just filled a need, laid there and no matter how nice they looked and smelled, well they left me aching for something . Each splash of those wines across my palate left me flat and while I can understand that there is a time and place for that easy thing, I need wines that are kind of lippy and willing to claw their way up my chest and make me feel them.



Once done with the Gott wines I popped or unscrewed a bottle of 2009 Lafon Macon-Villages, the nervy acidity and sassy fruit was wrapping its sharp fingers around me before I even took my first sip. The life slipping through that quarter sized opening was shaking me and my mouth was watering, my back stiff, my nostrils wide…feeling, I was feeling something just from the nose of this wine. Life. There was life in this wine, a vibrancy and intensity that took control of my wrist and forced me to pour another glass…and another. All my senses awake and vibrating; my mouth wet and wanting, my nose searching, my mind engaged. Felt almost like someone had removed the layer of cling film from my tongue and now I was really tasting.



I finally got to make my tomato dinner, a giant bowl of ripe chopped red, green and yellow flesh…lemon, salt, red onion and crispy chunks of sourdough bread that I had crisped in the oven with butter and herbs de Provence. I watched as my college budget son, the one that lives on boxed, lifeless food piled up a mountain of buttery, crispy bread chunks and poured all that nervy lemon scented, just ripe and pulsating with life tomato juice into the bowl and actually groaned with each lightning bolt of freshness that not so gently landed upon his ready palate. I sat there sipping my Lafon Macon-Villages, its exuberant spine waking me while I watched my son’s palate light up with the life of summer produce…and Momma cooking. The two of us being lit up with nervy acid and a blast of freshness.

I sat here alone tonight, hot dogs bringing me back to life but doing little to truly feed me. I let the past two weeks roll through my head, all the laughs, cuddles, crazy scheduling and abundance of love wash over me and I had to shove the cork back into the "hot dog wine" and get myself a glass of something that was capable of making me feel less lonely. Something that could make me actually feel something....oh yeah, I was once again slipping my fingers around a bottle of Comte Lafon Macon-Villages. My heart thumping rather than my head, my mouth filling with excited expectation the second I heard the snap of the seal breaking on the wine. Damn, I needed that...



Friends, family, love, food and wine...It’s lovely to see you, so nice to smell you but….I really need to feel you.

Last Night Of......

For a bit.



Stinks but all the "ouch" just reminds me that I am lucky enough to love my son so much that....well that it hurts a little at times. We have had an amazing visit and I can now start looking forward to picking him up at the airport in December. Those welcome homes are so much more heartwarming than the goodbyes.



Jeremy began signing all his emails with FFL way back in middle school and it is a thing that he feels tremendously committed to.....







It means Family, Friends, Life and these are the things that my adorable son thinks are the most important. So in these difficult moments of goodbye and see you later, these moments when I feel like my heart might just crack wide open I can think back on the time we spent and know that he has spent the past two weeks embraced by those things that mean the world to him. This, this makes all the weight that sits upon my chest so worth it. More than worth it.

Reshuffling My Deck

So I confess that I have been consumed completely the past couple weeks. Vacation, the work load that comes after that and now fully entrenched in the love bubble that is my sweet son being home for two weeks. My time just keeps running out and I find myself with just not quite enough of it to properly feed this blog which of course makes me feel like poo. This has been the first visit in years when Jeremy has spent most of his time at home with us, before he would be gone all the time visiting with friends but this time....this time he seems to need to really feel home and has been spending most of his time here. I'm sorry that I have been somewhat missing but I can tell he needs my attention right now and I mean really, this is just a silly blog and you guys are probably visiting me more for me than for you anyway right? Not sure why I am feeling guilty but I am.....

So I got off of work half an hour early today, the shop was well staffed, all my wines put up and ready for grabbing, orders placed and I had given the hubby a shopping list for the dinner I had planned around the jackpot of tomatoes that Dale had brought me from her amazing garden. Smug, I was feeling smug and like I had all the time in the world....yeah. Took my regular route home with a bag of open Loire samples I had been given from my Henry Wine Group salesman and a Tupperware bowl stuffed with red, green, yellow and tiger striped tomatoes that were simply teasing me with their aromatics as they sat in the passenger seat of my warm from the sun car. I flipped the stations on my radio as I sat in the abnormally long line for each light I usually sail through every other day of the week. I was fixated on making dinner for my family, those sweet beginning to sweat tomatoes making my mouth water each time a rush of air passed over them....that was when I was able to get the car going enough to generate any gusts. After twenty minutes I began to sense the doom that would eventually be my drive home.



The drive that never takes me more than thirty minutes took me over an hour and a half due to a big rig flipping over on the 405 closing four lanes of traffic...oh mother effer! Now I happen to be one of those people that does not get upset about this kind of thing, when I hear that an accident is the reason for the delays it kind of breaks my heart and reminds me that someone is having a far worse moment than I am. The thing that pisses me off is all the assholes that behave like selfish fucks in the wake of such events; cutting people off, driving in the bike lane and then leaping in front of people trying to make a left hand turn and those cheesedicks that block the intersection making it impossible for everyone else to continue moving forward. Dammit!

So I got home way late, face all flushed and jaw tight from the "Oh no I am not letting your ass in....I've been here for thirty minutes" glare that I had to flash all the way home. The kid had made plans for dinner with friends, plans that involved driving so the hubby was unable to do any shopping until I got home. By now I was deflated, hot, cranky and the last thing I wanted to do was cook some elaborate meal for two. We opted for creepy fast food and I jumped into a very tall glass of Pastis, (Ahem Charlie) which turned into another tall glass which turned into....crashing fulling clothed on the couch. All my good intentions of a family meal and writing something entertaining for you cats to read melting into the ever increasingly squished cushions of the couch right along with my weary flesh. Yeah, I suck.



So I woke up about twenty minutes ago and felt like I should offer you loyal, kid voting for folks something and seeing as I have learned how to do those linky dealie things....well here are a couple things that have entertained me in the past couple days. I offer them to you fully acknowledging that I am a lazy freaking blogger and seeing as there is like no wine, probably the worst wine blogger ever. All that being said I hope that you all forgive me, know that I will be back in full form here soon and at the very least...I hope one of these makes you laugh. I really do love and cherish you all. I see you logging on and trust me the pangs of guilt are upon me but I have to be with Jeremy, catch up on work and sling some wine kids....but I promise you this...or maybe threaten is a better word, I'll be back.....


Crazy People File

http://www.wsmv.com/video/24337305/index.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0h3a7MmMss

Feeling Like I Am Doing My Part

http://www.themedguru.com/20091206/newsfeature/stare-boobs-longer-life-study-86131320.html

Just Crack Me Up....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tLrvFycHXY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0-Sv6YnxEc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/03/greta-van-susteren-sick-o_n_668829.html

Now I am going to wander off to bed.....

I Need Your Help....Just This Once I Am Asking For A Favor

Those of you that have been reading this silly blog for any length of time have heard about my Tyler. The tiny little beast that lives across the way, melts my heart and has completely destroyed my badass image with his big blue eyes, silly faces, giant voice and….well and for the fact that he seems to adore me for no other reason than I am me. Such a rare and lovely gift that….

It started years ago, I tried not to notice how damn cute he was but once he started belting out sounds, little hands pressed against his chest seemingly fascinated with the vibrations. His tiny frame on the other side of his screen playing quietly…well quietly for Tyler or banging away on one of those giant tin tubs of popcorn. I could sit and watch him for hours, did as a matter of fact and there were a number of times that I was late for newsletter deadline because I was captivated by the squishy little one.

So it turns out that screens work both ways and after awhile Tyler’s parents could tell that the not-so-friendly chick across the way was puddling over their little one so what do they go and do….they taught him my name. “Hi Sam!!” and the ever so melting, “Sam Sam Sam” always lilting and like a song would come floating across the patch of grass that rests between our apartments, land squarely on my heart and make this hard knock life girl get all teary and gooey…dammit.

Now I am all in. I am completely in love and have the pleasure of sitting next to this adorable young man every Monday night at dinner. We blow bubbles in our drinks, stuff tortilla chips in our mouth and talk to each other while the little bits of broken chips fall from our lips. We play fire truck and, “ambe-blance” we laugh and hug….a lot. No matter what kind of day I am having I can be brought back to life by something as simple as this 4 year old coming to my door to see if I wanna play with him or hearing his big voice yell at me when I am on the phone, “C’mon Sam! Come outside. Who is more important than me?”…dude, not many.

There is no way for Tyler to understand how much he means to me, not sure I can really make anyone understand it but….well there was a very large hole in my heart when my son left for school and while he will never take Jeremy’s place his genuine affection and adoration of me…the way I can make him smile even when I am in my jammies with no makeup….the way he makes me feel comfortable enough, loved enough to be outside that way, well that little hand on my heart has soothed my ache, made me happier and I am forever in his debt. So this is where the favor thing comes in….

Tyler’s mom has entered him in a Most Adorable Preschooler contest, it’s a contest in our local paper and the award is like $100 or something. The award means nothing to me, (sorry Todd and Lisa I know it would help you) but I would love to be a part of anything that makes Tyler feel, if only for a second just as special and wonderful as he makes me feel all the time. I would never ask my readers to vote for me for something as ridiculous as a wine blog award but just this once I am asking for your help.

http://ocregister.upickem.net/engine/Details.aspx?p=V&c=19516&s=4707426&i=1&r=168225

I’ll never know if you do it or don’t so there really is no pressure but it would mean so much to me to have all of you that have been touched by my stories about my adorable wee boyfriend take the time to cast a vote for him….make us both so happy. Him for winning and me for being able to in some tiny way repay him for loving me the way he does. You don’t have to do any registering or anything, you can log in under either of these names and passwords:

sdugan Password muchbetter
Or
tmccrory Password tyler

For those of you that do take the time I thank you from the very bottom of my very full heart.

Sunday Sermon

An extra thick line of jet black eyeliner

A bit of smudging around the eyes

An extra five minutes spent making my hair look like I just spent the last 30 minutes pressed up against a headboard



Red lips

Jeans frayed and two sizes too big

Top tight and three layers too thin

Going to worship at my alter

The alter of overindulgence……

Heading up to LA to Canter’s

Hot bowl of Matzo Ball Soup

And…..








Then home to make a batch of aioli before heading out to The Wine Country’s Grand Aioli

With my beloved son

Please forgive me my sins…..

Please grant me the strength to do them over and over again