Sunday, January 16, 2011

My Pleasure. One Year Ago....




So okay, I know I share a bunch of stuff here in this space, you all know far more about me than I am guessing you would like. I stand before you naked time and time again, my life, my friendships, my overindulgence…my heart; it is all out here on display for you all to read in between my miscellaneous wine posts or rants about this and that. Not sure if that brings you closer or runs you off, guessing it is a bit of both. Some stay, follow me along in my quest and self exploration and others will flee in search of something more wine focused. I get it and don’t blame the ones that bail, adore the ones that stay and support me on my baby-legged stumble to find my voice in this big wine blogging world. For those that stay I continue to share, share my stories, my inspiration and myself…the only thing I really have to give to thank you all, all those fingers in my back, those eyes on me, that drive that pushes me to continue talking, oozing, waxing rhapsodic about whatever it is that bounces into this wacky head of mine…

So this evening, all alone in my home, I started thinking about sharing, how lovely, how codifying, how powerful it is but….sometimes, well sometimes it’s better alone. I’m willing to confess that sometimes pleasure is best served for one…especially when you are serving yourself.



Don’t go acting all shocked, don’t act like you don’t do it too, I know you do..you all do, we all do, and sometimes there is nothing better than the pleasure one can derive than that from one’s own hand, one’s own voice and from one’s own purring sounds. Sure, the Internets assist, they lead us, toy with us; make us think of things that we might not have considered on our own. Offer scintillating photos of what we want, what we secretly ache for, make our mouths water for, “Just a taste” and then we are left to our own devices…our own will, our own want. Tonight I “wanted” more than I have in a very long time….alone or not, I was going to, have…take, and fucking feel…what I wanted, me and me alone.

To be alone with your, self seduction, the way you can feel the little hairs stand up on the base of your neck, the way the skin around your most sensitive parts seem to constrict, tighten and the way that feeling runs up the base of your spine. To have a room so silent that you can hear the groan of pleasure escape your lips, how sexy that echoing silence can be. Just you, your thoughts, your will, your want, your need…your nose caught up in the cacophony of scent, your palate wildly flicking away…bouncing, fighting to taste every last drop, the way your throat seems to expand to take it all in. There is nothing like it. Sharing is sweet, it’s wonderful but this feeling…unlike any other.



So tonight I pleasured myself, I’m not afraid to share that here. It felt fantastic, my hairs erect, my throat open, my heart open and me here, with all of you…exposing myself once again, sharing my self exploration with you. I opened a bottle of 2000 Paul Chapelle Meursault and drank the whole damn thing…alone. No one in my ear yammering about texture, length or premature oxidation, just me…alone in my library smelling home. Face washed, jammies on, little hairs tingling the base of my neck…

Great wine is best shared with people that can appreciate it, I have to agree….for the most part, but once in a while, there is nothing that can compare or compete with the knee weakening, heart pounding…….head spinning pleasure that can be had with a night of, “self pleasurevation”…

15 comments:

vickibarkley said...

Yes! I've had Dagueneau to myself, Camille Saves, and Rayas, among others! Am I guilty? Yes. Would I do it differently? no. I love you, and this post! VB

webb said...

Sometimes only you can enjoy the experience. Thanks for taking us with you. Will have to look for this one.

Samantha Dugan said...

Vicki,
Of all people I knew you would understand this one. Kinda funny when I thought of doing a re-post that I had done this one almost exactly a year ago. I love you too girlie.

webb,
Sometimes. I'm grateful that you all allow me these silly posts from time to time....flattered that you all read and overjoyed when you take the time to comment.

Anonymous said...

Iknow what I'm doing tonight... mmmmm...

(um, the wine. yes, that's it.)

Samantha Dugan said...

Another Day of Crazy,
Do it girlie....make me proud.

First Down Daddy said...

Sam--

It must be a guy thing. I was thinking back to the last time I lost myself in the influence of some outside source.

And it turns out to have been the three hours I sat here yesterday without moving, hairs raised on the back of my neck, nerves tingling---while I watched the Jets and the Pats play football.

Samantha Dugan said...

Sandra,
As sisters in being bullied and having our locks lopped off, yes! Yes you can call me a bitch any time you wish, for girls like us it's kind of a term of endearment right? I'm flattered that you read me even though you don't drink wine...um, I could fix that by the way....and just like you, every comment counts to me.

Puff Daddy,
God it's nice to see you. I miss you Charlie My Love. I was working yesterday and missed most of the football, (while I don't have a penis I do on occasion act like one) doings but holy hell am I glad that ugly mug of a quarterback is done! I know it will be Aaron Rodgers all day every day for weeks but whatever...bye bye Brady!

HoseMasterbator of Wine said...

I'm just glad that HoseMaster guy is outta here.

I've certainly pleasured myself all by my lonesome, and it's a great release; but then there's the grief and sadness five minutes after you're done, that twinge of self-loathing while you're self-loving, the shame in the emptiness when the one you love shows up. And stares at not how drained you are, but how drained the bottle of Rayas is. Hard to explain.

But my real secret, dirty, filthy pleasure is reading Parker 100 point wine reviews outloud to willing women I meet on CraigsList. The poor degenerates, they crave porn.

Sara Louise said...

You remain the cheekiest blogger I know!
But I agree with you, sometimes it is much more enjoyable alone, without any distractions :-)

Samantha Dugan said...

HoseMasterbator,
Fuck! I can't believe you told all these people how we met. Not sure I can forgive you.....well unless you have the newest issue of The Wine Advocate on you....

Sara,
Cheeky? Me?! Never....

Val said...

I must say, any woman who can recommend a pairing with self-pleasure is one classy broad. How I adore this post. In a martini bar a few years back, a friend and her hubby announced they were going home to have some 'great sex.' I simply announced, "Me too!" Their response, "..but you live alone!" Mine: "Exactly. I'm actually quite good in bed with myself."

Anonymous said...

Val- sitting in class at UNLV, debating southern history, and almost snorted my V8 juice out at your comment.

Samantha Dugan said...

Sheesh...people claim I'm saucy!

Val said...

@ADOC - Ah, yes, UNLV - My Saturday AM Western Lit class would have been a lot spicier if we had electronic distractions back then. Speaking of electronics and distractions, I need to quit reading blogs before bed. The last thing I need to be thinking when replacing things in the goody drawer is, "That was so good. Sam & ADOC would be proud." Seriously.

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.