Friday, December 31, 2010

Hey Baby, Wanna Date?

Oh I know what you want. Been doing this so long I can almost smell it mixing with the sweat on your skin, see it through the stiffness in your gate, feel the relief when you stand beside me, your heart beating against your ribcage…because it knows, it knows that I won’t bat an eye at your kinky little peccadilloes, matter of fact making sure your pecc and dilloes tingle is what I’m here to do. Makes no difference to me what gets you off…just my job to make sure that you do so you’ll know just where to come when that desire, that almost painful, naughty itch creeps upon your flesh once again. You need only come see me; I’ve got what you need.

Don’t be ashamed or feel uncomfortable when I ask you the standard questions; what you’re into, how much you’re willing to shell out for your little spin on the pleasure wheel. I don’t ask to pass judgment and I don’t keep a little black book…..discretion is my job and seeing as I’m facilitating this sultry little rendezvous, well my fingers are already all up in your Kool-Aid as it were. I ask for one reason and one reason only….to ensure that the pleasure you seek, however you seek it, is given and given so well that you will be back for more. Get your sticky on kids, mix it up, take a couple if you’ve got that “spice of life” feeling, take your ride long and slow, like I said, makes no difference to me how you do it, I just want you to do it and I’m just here to help.

I see that look in your eye. It’s been too long and your swerve is ready for a swing. You need only come and see me; I’ve got what you need…..

Won’t Take Long & Don’t Want to Engage Much
Ah the quickie, a classic and I have a couple lovelies that will hit that spot. Going rate: $14.00 to $19.00 a spin.

NV Maison du Cremant Cremant de Bourgogne $15.99
Simple, fresh, subtle fruit and lovely balancing acidity.

NV Bortolotti Extra Dry Prosecco $16.99
Ample fruit, just a kiss of sweetness with a nice bit of weight in the mouth. Very pure with just the right amount of fizz.

NV Fresita Sparkling Wine Infused with Strawberry Pulp $17.99
No need to add fruit, this bubbly has already been twisted for you! Fine bubbles and rocking the super fresh strawberry flavor.

I Want More but My Budget Won’t Allow
I understand, times are tough after the holidays…no reason you can’t at least get a taste. Sure there won’t be any kissing, costs extra you know, but these will give you a hint, a peek at what you’re aching for. Going rate: $20.00 to $26.00 a pop.

NV Roederer Estate Anderson Valley Brut $19.99
Just about as close to the real thing as I’ve had from California. Deep fruit, nice toast, dry with just the right amount of bead. Lovely, simply lovely.

NV Tissot Cremant de Jura $25.99
Dig the complexity and richness on this wine. Has all that sexy Jura Sherry like flavors but with a bump of toasty and baked apple flesh. Interesting as hell and tasty to boot.

NV Huber & Bleger Cremant D’Alsace Brut Rose $20.99
Sometimes you gotta have pink right? Really delicate red fruit flavors with a creamy mouth feel and a lip snacking bit of red cherry on the long finish.

I Want it All & I Want it All Night
Good for you! I’m with you and will be spinning one or two of these this evening as well. Hell, we can cut corners on food, stay at home an extra night next week or something but tonight, tonight is for giving into that carnal want, paying extra for the kisses, length and mind bending pleasure. Going rate: $46.00 to $100.00 a groan.

NV Robert Moncuit Grand Cru Blanc de Blancs $47.99
Classic Blanc de Blancs. Dusted with seashells, citrus and biscuit dough. Long, super long on the palate with a delicate and graceful finish.

NV Camille Saves Grand Cru Carte d’Or $64.99
Sexy. Dead sexy. Deep, round, toasty and remarkably rich. Want, this is the kind of wine that inspires want.

NV Godme Grand Cru Brut Rose $72.99
As serious a Champagne as we have. This wine will not only spend the night with you, it will have you thinking….investigating. So complex, tons of layering…flavors and aromas that shift and change after every sip and a finish so saturated that it leaves your palate aching for just one more sip.

Just a peek at the catalog. Must get running as this is sure to be my busiest night on the corner as it were but I see that look in your eye….come see me; I’ve got what you need.


David McDuff said...

Hey Woman, that's my Tissot pic (and you're welcome to it)!

Hope you get the chance to enjoy some of that bubbly tonight, once the seasonal pimping of the wares winds down.

Happy New Year!

webb said...

And, a Happy New Year to you, too!

Ron Washam said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

Since I'm paying, I'll thank you not to comment on length. Just slap those cuffs on me, undo my cage, and make me froth until I say "Oh Godme, oh Godme!" and Tissot all over myself.

Just please, please, don't give me a case of the Clape.

Happy New Year, My Beloved Internet Wife!

I love you!

Samantha Dugan said...

Seeing as I shall never be a thief of hearts I figured a thief of pictures was good enough. I saw that it was yours and even thought, "Oh David wont mind and if he does I will buy him a drink when we are in Italy in February"....guilty and thanks for letting me use it and not slapping some midget porn or something up to block it.

Happy New Year to you lady. Thank you so much for all the comments and continued support, means more to me than you can know.

Ron My Love,
As much as I adore watching you Tissot yourself I must point out that this was a post offering services, not to service. It's a subtle distinction. That being said the idea of slapping the cuffs on you and making you scream Godme might have tingled my Pecc....not sure I have dilloes...just a bit.

I've so adored our first year of internet marriage I am thinking it might be time to start negotiations for year two. Not ready to turn over the Mrs. HoseMaster crown just yet....if undoing your cage will win me the votes, well come down and see me sometime. I love you!

Charlie Olken said...

Let me be the first, or last, to wish you a proper Happy New Year.

Wish I were there drinking bubbly with you.



Samantha Dugan said...

Sir Charles,
I will have you know I just got home and found you here....been wondering where my sweet Charlie had gone and all along, you were here.

Happy New Year to you sweet man. I love you so much...

TWG said...

Wow the delivery doors at the WC are a happening place.

Samantha Dugan said...

Oh you have no idea.....

Sara Louise said...

Delicious naughtiness! Happy New Year Sam!