Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Worth The Wait?
Finally after all the waiting, all the hours spent toiling and speculating…..wondering, aching. Finally it was time for us to be together. I simply could not stand one more day without my hands on you, my heart open to you….my body next to yours, your scent wafting deep into my lungs becoming part of my memory that I can draw on whenever I need to feel you again.
Part of me felt as if I had waited my whole life for you, like each new thing I learned, each heartache, each triumph and each failure were all put in my path to placate me, distract me….prepare me for that moment, our moment, our night.
I’ve always believed that when it comes to passion and love there are no real mistakes, no right or wrong just little slices or pieces of shared time that become part of our history. Each moment weaving itself into our fabric and changing us a little. Adding to our texture, showing us what pleases us and what we would never do again…the heart’s education is never quite complete and I knew that my night with you was going to change me, add to the woman I am, become part of my fabric….I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed you, needed you to spend the night with me….teaching me, touching me, pulling back my stitching and finding your place inside me.
I was nervous of course, terrified that we had waited too long, I had dreamt too often of that moment. Let myself get lost in the idea of you…building you up to be something more than you could ever be, more than you ever promised to be. Playing it over and over again in my mind, watching your body move….seeing how my own body would react to you. Hours and hours spent dreaming, wanting, aching and finally my will, my want and my need took control and our time had come.
Heart beating against my ribcage
My lungs threatening to heave right out of my chest
My desire causing my entire body to vibrate
The sound of my own breath entering and exiting my body
My mouth wet with anticipation
Ready to feel you
Learn from you
Feeling you heavy in my mouth
Your weight splashing against my throat
Feeling you racing throughout my body
My own voice… groaning
My hands pulling you closer
My wait for you
My want for you
You inside me
My fabric wrapping around you
Part of me
So worth it